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I think you need to tell your mom nicely that you don't really appreciate her taking out her frustrations from your sister's laziness/stupidity/whatever you want to call it on you because you are the one who is actually taking care of business. I know she's probably stressed dealing with both weddings, but she can't lump yours in with your sister's and misdirect her aggravation at you.
Also, your sister needs to get a grip ASAP.
I agree totally with Kittyachi. Also if your sister isn't interested in planning her own wedding, there isn't really much you can do except watch her wedding suck! However, you should probably lay down the law early on and be very clear that you will not get sucked into any last minute stressful crap (having to plan her wedding for her or whatever) simply because she couldn't get her act together!
I would let your sister drop the ball. If she wants to "go with the flow" she'll end up with a piece of paper for a wedding, because real weddings take planning! That shouldn't be your concern. Just let her go, and keep chugging away at your own list. I'm sure your mom is as frustrated as you are by your sister, it's a shame she's taking it out on you.
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Ok so my FI have been cruising right along with our planning. We have the big stuff taken care of. Well on Sunday we stopped by to show my veil. THE PLAN WAS TO LEAVE! Well as it turns out we were there for 3 hours, and came home with 3 pages of double columned notes of things still to do. Now, I really appreciate the list of details that may have been forgotten otherwise, but half my time was going over emails I had sent her and she never bothered to read! So of course the frustration level is high.
Turns out that my sister (the one planning her wedding at the same time) was supposed to pick out her invites on sunday, AND NEVER SHOWED for the second time! So my mom was taking her frustration out on the daughter who is actually doing planning for her wedding....
How can I get my sister to start planning? Her wedding is in less than 5 mo! She was last heard saying she isn't going to do any planning, she's just gonna let it "go with the flow"