Post # 1
So the bf and I were talking yesterday afternoon and I say, “I read the most interesting article in Oprah Magazine.” Now, to be fair, I know that my guy isn’t going to read Oprah but I was surprised when he responded, “You must really want to be a housewife. That’s a housewife magazine to read.” Excuse me? So I said, “Why would you say that? Lots of my girlfriends read Oprah magazine. Your mom reads O magazine. It’s a great magazine.” He says “Only your married girlfriends read O magazine and my mother is a housewife. You are just obsessed with this housewife thing. You just really want to be a housewife.” WTH? I mean, I do watch Real Housewives of New York. But what the hell is he trying to tell me? Yes, I want to get married. However, getting married isn’t my only goal in life. I go to school AND work. I work damn hard, too.
Bees, am I reading too much into this? If not, can someone please translate the manspeak because I am totally lost.
P.S. Please nobody misconstrue my post as suggesting that there is anything wrong with being a housewife. I am just confused as to what my bf was trying to say.
Post # 3
@jackndiane: I think you are reading too much into it.
Since Oprah’s tv show is on during the day, the main target audience is housewives (since they are home to watch it).
As long as it wasn’t said in a derogatory or biting tone, I think he’s just playing with you.
Post # 4
I think you’re getting upset over nothing. I don’t think he is implying anything. I just take that as a joke. Like if you were reading Martha Stewart magazine. Its a “house wife” thing to do. I say don’t worry about this at all.
Post # 5
@jackndiane: It just sounds like he’s feeling a little pressure to be married and provide. I think lots of guys feel this way even if we never ask for it. My DH is stressed about getting promoted and making more money just in case I ever want to be a “housewife”. (right now I’m the bread winner) I’ve never asked him for this and so I didn’t understand where it was coming from. He explained that it’s just pressure he’s placed upon himself, because that’s what he knows. (MIL was a housewife).
Post # 6
I would be annoyed, too.
To me, it reads as him saying you’re obsessed with getting married. Not a good thing to say to a Waiting Lady.
It’s also really effing irritating when people make assumptions like that. I bet your guy likes to watch football. Does that mean he wants to join the NFL? No.
Post # 7
(I posted in your other thread as well- whoops!)
@jackndiane: Yeah, you probably are reading into it too much- guys are silly. Unless there is any more evidence to make him think this, he probably just said that because you like the show. Going off that logic, I guess I wanna go hunt alligators w/ the guys on “Swamp People”
But there’s really nothing wrong with wanting to be a housewife either.
Post # 8
@CaptainSpaulding: Yeah, as I said in my original post, I see nothing wrong with being a housewife. I don’t think it would be for me (I’m too focused on a career outside of the home) but I don’t judge women who choose that. I just thought his comment was strange and I wondered if he meant something by it since we have discussed a timeline and engagement recently.
Post # 9
Actually my DH used to make passive aggressive comments like this before we got engaged. It was his way of lashing out about how much pressure I was putting on him to propose. He was ‘putting me in my place’ with those comments, even though they weren’t true most of the time. I could hear his anger when he made them, it was obvious he was just mad about the fact that he had to make a decision about marriage and couldn’t continue to go on like we had been, dating exclusively and living together forever.
If that’s what your BF is doing, I’d suggest calling him out on it. Say something like “I don’t want to date you forever, I want to get married which is what you’re really saying isn’t it?” He might not actually admit it, but at least he’ll stop with the comments.
Post # 10
@moderndaisy: Yeah. I’m going to have to go with what you are saying. It sounded innocent enough at face value, but it was the way he said it that bothered me. He didn’t say “lol. That’s such a housewife magazine to read.” He pointedly said “you want to be a housewife.” I don’t know, it could be that I am reading too much into it because I am feeling ultra-sensitive and vulnerable during this waiting period. If he does it again, I will calmly call him out.
Post # 11
@jackndiane: I didn’t think you were saying anything derogatory about housewives- I completely understand why his statements would be annoying. I agree with the others who say he’s probably just feeling some pressure, or possibly he’s trying to feel you out to see what your response would be (?). If he makes any further remarks like this, I’d say something & set him straight about what I wanted for my future.
Post # 12
Yeah – sounds like a little passive-agressive pressure reponse, although, depending on the time of the month I’d have been tempted to respond, “No. I just want to be a wife, house or working doesn’t matter.” Next time, quote him an article from Scientific American and see what he says.
Post # 13
I would speak to him about it- the comment rubbed off the wrong way and I am only reading it on paper. It does sound like he feels like he is being pressured and doesn’t know how to respond- very passive agressive. Good luck if you talk to him about it.
Post # 14
This reminds me of the big fight in Father of the Bride, when her FI gets her a blender for their dating anniversary and she flips out over the “implications.” Hopefully this time, like then, it is merely a miscommunication.
Post # 15
SO said things like that to me before. I agree with a PP that it could be insecurity (i.e. you only want to marry me so I’ll support you). It turns out SO just wanted reassurance that I want to marry him for HIM, not for convenience. I’m sure SO knows I’m not that kind of person but men can be babies sometimes. =T Now I just combat it by saying, “yup, and I’m gonna take you for all of the money you’ve got!” =)