Post # 1
Ok so tonight’s evening didn’t go good.
First, I found a ringtahat I fell in love with while I was at work. I sent it to my SO. Though the jewellerystore. When I got home and showed it him after I made sure that he still hasn’tfound a ring he liked after four months of looking. I was expecting a conversation about it and all I got was: Cool. And he shut his computer and email off and we didn’t mention anything of iafterwards.
We went to see his friend and then went to visit his sisterat the new house she bought. It’s a huge house, they have three full grown kids etc and everything a woman could ever dream of.
I was fine and acted fine but was still a bit hurt during because of the fact that he brushed off the conversation about the ring even though I told him I fell in love with it.
For someone that is having a hard time pricingAna engagement ring and obviously he is because it is taking him 4+months Iwouldn’t think that such help would be appreciated . But instead I got the cold shoulder which makes me feel like its not theengagemenrig ng that’s the problem but the commitment itself. Then why not freaking tell me ?
I have been on this side for a long time. I tried to make peace with it. I tried to keep myself busy but it all goes down to being with someone that doesn’t want to commit or is not taking such commitment seriously or is not taking my concerns and needs seriously enoughto amaze it happen. I’m not saying that he has to propose today. I am ok with his timeline of this year! All I want is conversations and signs that he is planning.The fact that maybe he was planning a few months before and then he stopped because he got busy etcnis not good enough.( is it wrong to be at the top 3 of your boyfriends needs ?
Post # 3
This is his rodeo honey, stop trying to run it and enjoy the show!
Post # 4
Maybe he finally found a ring? I wouldn’t push it too much just in case. If he has questions about it he knows that he can come to you.
Get excited for any surprises!
Post # 5
I think its very possible that he has the ring….and now thinks you will be disappointed since its not the one you are now in love with. Which is why he doesnt want to talk about it.
Post # 6
Hard as it is I think you need to relax and let him plan things his own way. He’s given you a timeline of this year so unless you get to next year and nothing’s happened I don’t think you need to worry.
I have the same timeline and other than looking at a few rings online together when we first discussed it we haven’t really had any conversations about it. When I got a bit antsy (just before I got the timeline), my SO said “I only get to do this once in my life, I want to be able to surprise you and give you a story to tell our children”. In fact I accidently upset things a bit yesterday because I kept asking him for times he’d be free to look round houses with me (we’re currently house hunting for our first house to rent together) and he ended up admitting that he couldn’t do today because he had to stay in for a ‘special delivery’ (my ring). He wanted it to be a secret that he’d actually got it, but never mind, the proposal will still be a surprise because I’ve no idea when that’ll be or what he’ll do 🙂
In general I don’t think guys feel the need to talk about every little detail of everything in the way we often like to, so I think you need to trust your guy that he will stick to the timeline he’s given you. It might be a bit easier for me because I don’t have my heart set on any particular type of ring, I know I will love whatever he gets me because he has chosen it for me.
Just 4 months max left for us to wait 😀 Enjoy!
Post # 8
I would let it go for now. I used to send helpful hints to SO and he just got confused because it didn’t fit with his idea of what the ring should look like.
Post # 9
My guy was very unresponsive to my countless lets-get-engaged efforts and I’d be hurt but only to learn that he had it planned for a looong time and I was just being annoying.
So let it goooo. You can’t change what he already has in his mind; and also, ring picking is very difficult without us women interfering …IDK about you, but i change my mind 23048 a day.
EDIT: I really learned to turst him after this. They are not as helpless as we make them out to be ;).
Post # 10
maybe he already has a ring and doesn’t want you to know!
Post # 11
@Lulume: Is it possible he has a ring already? Keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Post # 12
Like others have said. Is it possible that he already has a ring? And now he is nervous/worried/upset that you may not like the ring he picked out for you because you deemed this ring the one you love?
Post # 13
I’m 99 % sure he hasn’t found one yet. He has been messaging with his friend about it, he told me that he hasn’t found one and he is not good at lying.
Forget about the rollercoaster of emotions, I am a whole freaking amusement park! LOL
Post # 14
Maybe he is just saving it to look at on his own time. You sent it to him and even though he was a bit dismissive, he could just be trying to throw you a red herring. My FI was resistant to talking about wedding stuff for the most part but now that we are engaged he said he will be ready and willing.