Post # 1
I’m more curious on other’s take on this than looking for advice on the subject. Here’s the back-story:
Back in Uni, a girl (S) had a HUGE thing for my DH. She indiscreetly vied for his affections, but to no avail. DH was definitely NOT interested in her and *nicely* shot her down. ..apparently multiple times. Time went on, she got the hint, started to date DH’s close friend (D) and they subsequently married and now have a 1 year old.
To the present:
We just went on a 5 hour road trip this past long weekend with a group of friends, which included D & S. DH and I were seated at the back of the van, with DH in the middle and S and I on either side. A few hours in, S fell asleep and eventually her head found DH’s shoulder. And not just, “Oh shit, I’m sorry! I was completely out of it and just automatically moved my head!” No, it was the super cuddly type thing. One of the other girls noticed, made a comment, which then had D noticing. He said, in a not so nice tone, “S, get off of DH’s shoulder!” Her reply, “I’m too tired…” in a whiny, flirty kind of tone.
I didn’t say a thing. DH is too nice to say anything and was kind of drunk by then. I kind of made mention to it to DH last night, that I couldn’t believe she pulled that. He just kind of awkwardly laughed it off. I dropped it after that.
Obviously, it won’t be brought up again, unless something happens again. But, would you have done anything different? SHOULD I say something else to DH?
Post # 3
He should know that what she did was inappropriate. He’s a grown man. I think you handled it fine. Should something like that happen again, she needs a firm talking to from him. Hopefully her husband said something to her when they got home.
Post # 4
That made me gag a little- who does that?? I think you handled it well and letting it go is for the best. If I were her husband I would be furious! There is a female friend of SO’s who acts a little like this to him and it drives me crazy. Luckily for both of us we have partners that wouldn’t ever go there!
Post # 5
Thanks gals. I figured it wouldn’t have been the smartest to stir up anything when we had 2 more hours to go in a packed van, all weekend together and then 5 hours back home. I was really hoping nothing of the sort would happen on the drive back home, because I might have said something than.
We don’t really hang out with them as a couple, so I haven’t had a chance to see any other kind of shenanigans of this kind. Hopefully, this was a one time occurence.
Post # 6
@CherryWaves: I think you handled it perfectly! When I first started dating FI, he had an ex who presented herself as his “best friend”. She was also in a LTR but would pull this type of stuff all of the time. I would laugh it off and tell myself that she was just insecure. Anyway, it drove me crazy on the inside but I wouldn’t say anything and in turn, this drove her crazy and her stunts started happening more often to the point where other people started to take notice. She ended up looking like the ass in the situation and everybody praised & respected me even more for not letting it get to me. Even if she tries to pull more stuff like this in the future, I would just let it roll off your back and remind yourself that you and DH have a solid relationship. That old saying is true; if you give them enough rope, they’ll hang themselves.
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
@CherryWaves: Don’t worry, you handled it appropriately. It was good to see that S’s hubby snapped to it when he noticed and everyone else thought it was odd behaviour of her. If something like this happens again, I know you will handle business if need be!
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I think you both handled it well- that kind of girl probably would have made a huge deal about it for the rest of the trip had you said anything and it would have gotten really awkward. I think that your DH handled it fine too- it doesn’t sound like it’s going to happen again since you don’t really hang out with them that much. I bet her DH had a huge fight with her later on!
Post # 10
I’d laugh at her and feel paralysing pity for her at the same time…if she’s so besotted with a completely unavailable man that the only satisfaction she can garner is a few moments of totally bizarre head on shoulder action in a car full of people, including his wife, her life sucks far worse than you could ever aspire to inflict on her. Next time you see her, throw your head on his shoulder and make a big scene, she’ll die of embarrassment!
Post # 11
Thanks all! Makes me feel A LOT better about the situation!
Post # 12
DH should have pushed her off. In his defence, he probably wasn’t expecting this to happen. I would advise a talk to DH, telling him that in future you expect her to nip anything like that in the bud (i.e. by pushing her off).
Post # 13
I’m picturing something like the Harry Met Sally orgasm scene, except with head on shoulder action.
Post # 14
If a woman did that to my DH and he didn’t push her off, I’d have reached over and shoved her toward her side of the car. She can lean on the damn window.
Or even better, switched places with him so I was between them.
Post # 15
@CherryWaves: It depends on which Soladylike showed up for the car ride. There is a 50/50 chance that I would have looked at her husband and gave him the eye to say something to his wife or I could be a little mean and tell her to get the fuck off my husband. I really don’t play games with women and my SO. Nor do I flaunt in front of my SO’s friends. Its rude and asking for trouble either way.