- Miss Hunky
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
Okay, Fi has 2 older sisters, one, “A” is married (10 yrs) and is 31 yrs old, the other, “M”, is 27 has a BF and just had a baby.
A and M do NOT get along, A starts drama at every single family function, over nothing. For instance, at Fi’s bday party M was talking about their new puppy she brought over and out of nowhere A (who is usually sweet and quiet) YELLS “STFU,M!”. M asks her whats wrong and A replies” I’m sorry, you just make me so mad. I don’t know why I get mad at you the way I do. I love you sister!”. A few minutes later M asks to see my wedding dress, so we go upstairs to Fi’s old bedroom and I show it to her, A comes upstairs, glances at it and walks back downstairs. Fi told me later that when she got back downstairs she said “I forgot I can’t be around M for more than 5 minutes without her annoying me”. Um…?
At Fi’s grandmas xmas party they had a HUGE blowout, in front of everyone. M had just found out they were having a boy the day before, so of course she was excited and was showing everyone the US pics. A walks over, grabs the pics and yells “No one F$%&ing cares about your kid M!” and then crumbles up the pics. M starts to cry and walks upstairs to cool down. A follows her and goes off on her, so back and forth they were yelling, then FFIL began to attack M as well (another story) so Fi jumps in and tells his dad to go away, and picks A up and carries her into a bedroom to talk to her.
A few weeks later the two get together for lunch and talk things out, where A just tells M they had 2 different childhoods, they don’t know each other and she’;s not sure she wants to know M. Okay, first off, the parents are still together, no ugly divorce, they never fought in front of the kids, and the kids had everything they needed when growing up. A and M used to talk DAILY. Seriously, there is no trainwreck that would have brought any of this on, not even a bf stealing!
After that A begins to ignore M when she calls/texts/emails, and a few weeks later begins to ignore Fi as well. Fi is very laid back, and never got involved other than xmas night. He’s also 21 yrs old. She once told him that with the wedding and the new baby “emotions are really high right now and she can’t handle all of the negativity” No idea what that was supposed to mean, she ignored Fi when he asked wth she was talking about.
M gave birth in May, and the day after Fi and I went to see the new baby and her. She began crying saying A hasn’t called or anything to see if her new nephew is even alive, and M hadn’t talked to her in 4 months (nor has Fi). That was a month ago. She also didn’t go to M’s shower, because she “had to work” she sets her own schedule, and works at home as a psychic reader.
Yesterday she calls Fi, gave a lame excuse about needing privacy (mind you, she used to call Fi at 8 am. Fi gets off of work at 3 am. I have 3 siblings in the military. After the 4th call I told him to tell her not to call that early unless its an emergency) and working a lot (Fi works 6 days a week, 12 hr shifts). She tells him she’s not sure if she’s coming to the wedding. He asks her if she has seen the new nephew yet and she tells Fi she hasn’t nor does she plan to. They begin to argue and A tells Fi she never wants to meet the baby and if people keep pushing her to see him, she’s not going to want to see him even more. Fi suggests he take the baby to her house, since she doesn’t want to see M. She says no, she does NOT want to meet the baby. She’s “swallowing her pride and treating M with the golden rule”. SO Fi asks wtf the baby has done to her to be treated like that. She tells him to quit causing drama. So Fi tells her until she meets the baby, she’s lost a brother as well.
WWYD? FMIL is enabling her completely, so thats no help. Fi is really really hurt and can’t even begin to think why she is acting like this. Her husband is also enabling her. I have no idea what to do, I have 12 (yes, 12) nieces and nephews, I can’t even imagine not wanting to meet them, even if I was mad at the parent. I have 3 sisters, and they’re all my best friends, so I have no idea why she could do this to her own family. Fi is really upset she won’t come to the wedding, and FMIL told him that she’s been trying to talk her into going to the wedding for weeks now. I’m just so confused. And yes, I think she’s being 100% immature and selfish. ANy advice would be really helpful at this point!