WWYD: Friend Citing YOU As Reason For Breakup

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Drop them. That is ridiculous. She obviously has some personal issues that won’t be going away any time soon.

Post # 4
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Did it happen around the time you got engaged? What does she mean a “real” ering? What was her ring like? Maybe she just got really jealous of your’s and started feeling insecure about things.

I do find it really silly that she would think her FI would have a crush on you just because he bought you guys an enagement gift (I mean, it wasn’t just for you right? It was a couple’s gift I assume). Thats really grasping, unless she has other reasons that Mike didn’t share with you or that she didn’t even tell him.

I don’t know that I would write her off just yet since you do only know his side of the story. She may have valid reasons for feeling the way she does. Maybe he does have a crush on you and gave her other reasons to believe so. I doubt he would bring anything like that up with your FI right there, ya know? I’d probably contact her and ask to go out to lunch just the two of you and talk about it.

If she’s a good friend then I’d try to at least understand what happened before I just cut her out for good.

Post # 5
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I wouldn’t drop them per say, but I’d definitely not wanna be friends with someone like that. And I’d hope your friend Mike has enough good sense to know that if she’s like this pre-marriage, she’ll be the same, if not worse afterwards.

Post # 6
Member
3736 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@badabing88:  You give her one of these:

 

 

ETA: Once again, my stupid GIF doesn’t fucking work. 

 

Post # 9
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@badabing88: Sounds like you should just stay out of it. Even though it sort of involves you on the periphery, it really is about him and her.  Not to mention, you’re only getting one side of the story and you don’t truly know what’s been going on.  

I’d worry about what to do regarding hanging out with them if and when they get back together.

Post # 10
Member
3736 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@badabing88:  Since she is currently out of the picture, you are able to have a frank conversation with Mike: “Listen, I really like hanging out with you and ManCandy. I want you to be happy, and if you’re happy with Kara, then I’m happy for you. But her comment about you having feelings for me rubbed me the wrong way. I don’t think I can hang out with her in the same capacity that we used to, because I don’t think she’s the girl I thought she was. PS, I think you can do better.”

Post # 12
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@badabing88:  I don’t think she is a friend worth having. She sounds materialistic and insecure, and both of those traits annoy me. I’d imagine they annoy you too since we are the same person (well, except for you being prettier).

She would probably accuse him of liking any female he spoke with if she is insecure. Perhaps the reason he bought you guys an engagement present is because he values his friendship with your FI. She didn’t even consider that in her jealous craziness though.

Post # 13
Member
2675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

Wow. So sorry. Sounds like maybe she had a lot of stuff bottled up and somehow your engagement unleashed the crazy she was keeping inside. If she offered up a genuine apology and some sort of reasonable explanation for this behavior maybe I’d consider still being friends with her. Honestly though if she can’t see that this is crazy then I think everyone’s probably better off with out her in your lives. It’s still sad though and I’m sorry you’re dealing with this during what should be such a happy time for you.

Post # 14
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’m not doubting your side but this all seems very one-sided and I’m going to go ahead and guess there’s stuff he isn’t telling you.

Post # 15
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@badabing88:  Ok the girl is batshit insane and he needs to run. If he stays with her, though, I don’t think you have to worry about it much. It’s not like she accused him of cheating with you… just having a crush. So, it’s not like she’s saying that YOU are actually the problem. Yeah, I wouldn’t be her best friend and if she’s that insecure, she’s probably not going to even want to hang out as a four-some anymore , so I wouldn’t worry about it. 

Post # 16
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@skippydarling:  That’s what I’m thinking. In a breakup every party makes their ex sound crazy.

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