WWYD?? (hypothetical)

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: What would you do?
    Private message her and give her YOUR side of the story. : (39 votes)
    75 %
    Mind your own business, stay out of it, and not utter a word. : (7 votes)
    13 %
    Continually offer the WORST possible advice on the planet in hopes she will dump him. : (1 votes)
    2 %
    Divide all of your skittles by color, then eat any "extras" until each color group has same amount. : (5 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    9949 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013


    Post # 4
    3128 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    I can’t even begin to explain how tempted I was to select the skittle answer… but I would tell her. Worst case senario she doesn’t take your advice, but you won’t know til you try.

    Post # 5
    2299 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Tell her, and leave it in her hands. She deserves to know – I’d want to!

    Post # 6
    2419 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I would say something!

    Post # 7
    2136 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I’d definitely say something, just to get it out there. She’ll make her own decisions but at least you would be acting like a real friend.

    Post # 8
    5812 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @GonnaBeMrsB:  What would you want if you were in her situation?

    Post # 9
    2052 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @GonnaBeMrsB:  This is a tough one.  I’ve been on here a short time and have become somewhat ‘friends’ with certain waiting bees so to speak because we talk a lot under the same ‘waiting’ section lol. 

    I am a survivor of a past abusive relationship.  I have a restraining order that really prevents me from knowing too much about what is going on in his life (NOT THAT I WANT TO KNOW lol), but, if you do care about someone she has a right to know.  I’ve always wondered about this-I told my SO of 3 years the first month that I have a restraining order out-but does my ex tell whoever he’s dating about this issue?  Knowing what I know about him, I’m guessing NO!

    Which means that anyone who is with him could be at risk for the same behavior and might not know about it until it’s too late!!  Yell

    A private message is helpful, don’t let it get out of hand, just state the facts and let her make her own decision.  What’s awful is that she may choose to stay.  As I’m sure you already know, abusive people can be manipulative and controlling.  Good luck to you….and your friend! 

    Post # 10
    6448 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @peachacid:  +1000

    ETA: I wouldn’t necessarily give your side of the story as your poll says but just a quick heads up.

    Post # 11
    2372 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

    I vote tell her, THEN divide your skittles up.

    But seriously, I think a heads up is 100% okay in this instance, because it involves abuse. This isn’t just her emotions, it is her wellbeing and possibly her safety that is at stake!

    I would be as absolutely gentle about it as possible, but this woman deserves to know, especially if he lied about his past to her, that he could put her in danger.

    Post # 12
    9019 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @GonnaBeMrsB:  I agree that you should PM and tell her of your concern.  As a formerly abused wife I wish I’d had a head’s up about my ex before I had to learn the hard way.  ((HUGS))

    Post # 13
    32 posts
    • Wedding: October 2008

    Definately tell her.  She needs to know that information in order to make an informed decision about whether she wants to stay in the relationship.  Like someone else said, she may choose to stay with him.  I think the best think you can do as a friend is to try to be supportive either way.

    Post # 14
    8818 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I would privately talk to her. She may not want to hear it, she may not believe it but that’s her choice to make. I know that if I were in her shoes I would want to know.

    Post # 15
    3828 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MissTatas:  +1 for the skittles

    PM her.  You have to say something if she could be in danger

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