Post # 1
So I am a crier. I cry at movies, songs, purina commercials with happy puppies, books, everything. I’ve had people approach me on the subway while I’m quietly sobbing reading a book on my way to work (they thought I was in distress.) I’m not someone that cries under stress often, or cries when FI and I disagree or anything like that. I’m more of a happy crier.
This all leads me to believe that I will be a hysterical mess during my wedding. I cannot in any instance imagine myself NOT sobbing through my vows. I would love to imagine myself keeping it together but I literally have to change the channel if the dog whisperer is on because I can’t take it.
My only potential defense against this would be to take a little somethin prior to the ceremony. I do NOT want to start drinking before the ceremony, as that usually makes my sobbing worse and also we have a long boozy day ahead of us and I need to make it 12 hours. I have an old script for xanax from years ago, and I have a few left. I know that I tolerate them well and can take one without being wacked out, but I’m wondering what people’s opinions are on this. I take 1/2 of the smallest dosage they sell, and it literally just allows me to not be a total mess but I’m not even 100% sure that I won’t sob anyway.
Do you think this is somehow “cheating?” Should I just risk it? Would it be a complete disaster if I sobbed through the entire thing, or is that kind of normal? Should I somehow just try to practice saying them 100 times to somehow train myself not to be upset? I feel like practicing it and desensitizing myself to the process is just as bad as taking a little something…
This topic might be super stupid to some of you guys, so I apoligize if so, but it’s actually been wearing on me now that we only have 3 months left and also because I recently cried 2 hours of a 4 hour flight while reading a SCIENCE NONFICTION BOOK. I cannot be contained.
Post # 3
I wish I had taken xanax or something because I found it incredibly difficult to relax during my wedding. DH had the best time ever, but I was still pretty stressed until after cake cutting. On the other hand, I’ve heard some horror stories about people getting totally zonked and passing out during their wedding which scared me into not taking anything. I would talk to your doc before you do it.
Post # 4
I would say talk with your dr about it. My dr has me on anxiety meds, and it took weeks for it to kick in, so it may not even do anything for you if you only take one pill.
Post # 5
I’m a crier too. I have only taken Xanax at night before bed to calm me to sleep. I would be afraid it would make me sleepy. I would have to try it out first
Post # 6
I don’t think theres anything wrong with crying – you’re emotional and that’s you! I’d be more concerned about the bride who doesn’t shed at least one tear. 😛
Post # 7
I wouldn’t do it. You’re expected to cry at your wedding. It makes for better pictures :p Anyways, I generally have a bias against all pills- especially Xanax- because my mom pops them, so I guess take that with a grain of salt.
Post # 8
@Jen51287: thanks for the response! Xanax is a benzo which us used for acute treatment (like omg im having a panic attack right now style) so i know it WILL work. It’s unlike daily management meds for anxiety (like paxil or wellbutrin) which do take days or weeks to work. I’m sure my doc would tell me it’s fine to take sinceII have a history of them and also I’ve had these for so long I’m clearly not abusing them
Post # 9
Crying is normal and expected! Are you worried about crying to the point that you are not able to go through with the wedding or something extreme like that?
Your comment about not wanting to drink before your wedding is a good one. I wouldn’t recommend it unless you are completely in control and know you can handle the liquor.
Post # 10
I think it’s totally fine as long as you know how it will affect you. A tiny little dose of xanax isn’t going to do anything crazy.
Post # 11
Given that you know how it affects you, I don’t see a problem with it. The only thing I’d worry about is how old the pills are (you may want to get a fresh prescription if they’re expired).
Post # 12
@bkrocks13 o ok!! Didnt know it worked so quickly! I just didnt want you to try it and then have no help that day! But i agree its def ok to be emotional on your wedding day! i know i will be!
Post # 13
Be careful combining benzo’s and alcohol (at least it sounds like you do plan on drinking at least some during the day). While your experience in the past with Xanax may be that it just knocks the edge off – if you add alcohol to that you may get a different response.
Post # 14
- Wedding: May 2014 - Royalton White Sands
Crying and being an emotional wreck on your wedding day are two totally different things. If the meds will keep you from being a wreck, I don’t see why not. But verify with your doctor first, just to be on the safe side.
Post # 15
As long as you know it doesn’t zonk you out, then I say go for it. Honestly, that’s one of my biggest fears – I’m totally hit or miss with emotions. Sometimes I’m a rock, other times I’m a hysterical mess and it takes me HOURS to calm down. I’m worried my wedding day will be the latter, but xanxax makes me pass out and I always feel foggy/zombie-like. I’m just working on building up a good meditative base to rely on, and I plan on going for a run or yoga the morning of – those activites calm me down a lot.
Post # 16
@bkrocks13: We both cried and laughed through our vows (DH had rivers of tears dripping off his face). It was meaningful, joyful, transformative and REAL. You don’t want to mask those feelings! My favorite photos from the wedding are ones in which you can really see the emotions.
If anxiety is inhibiting you from fully functioning and being present, definitely talk to your doctor. There are lots of medical and non-medical strategies to ease anxiety.