- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
So BF and I had a talk today about the status of our relationship and our timeline and what not. He said that an engagement will happen “in the near future”.
But he also said he has a few hang ups about a few things like spending so much on a “rock and a hunk of metal that doesn’t ‘do’ anything”. He understands that’s what I would like (a rock and a hunk of metal) and can afford an expensive rock and hunk of metal (he told me he coululd spend up to $20,000 on a ring), he just has a hard time spending $100’s or even $1000’s on it.
He said even if you look at ‘cost per use’ where in theory each day is a ‘use’ it’s not expensive but that because it doesn’t ‘do’ anything like a coat that keeps you warm.
I did tell him that it’s not about the ring, and if he felt that strongly about it that I don’t need a ring, or we can do a cheap like $99 one, but he doesn’t feel that’s right either.
Then he’s also nervous about asking my parents for their blessing. THIS part is important to me. I don’t need my parents’ permission to do anything, but I do feel that a marriage is the combination of two families, not just two people, and that my parents at least have to approve of my partner. We live close to both our families (his parents are 10-15 minutes away, mine are 15-20 minutes away). I also think that he/we/I should ask for his parents’ blessing too, but that’s besides the point.
He said he knows what my parents will say (they would say yes, because they love my BF and my mom was already talking “You should marry that guy” before I was even there, they love him THAT much). He doesn’t know how to approach it with them.
His final hang up was how he would actually propose too. He knows the random sitting around playing video games on a Tuesday and saying “Here’s a ring, let’s get married” isn’t appropriate, but not sure how he would actually do it. I pretty much told him that I don’t need anything elaborate. A nice dinner or a spa visit or whatever, even something at home would be fine, as long as it’s heartfelt.
I’m hoping that I was at least able to address his concerns and put some thoughts in his mind about that kind of stuff. So maybe it will be sooner than later.
Oh the one for sure thing that came out of our talk is that we will be going to look at rings this weekend! He knows pretty much what I want style wise, but we’re going to go more to pick out the specific diamond. I’m pretty excited about that!