(Closed) Yeah, but seriously…?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

You just have to tell them gently that you can’t afford to invite everyone you know to the wedding and that you hope people won’t feel too bad about it.

Post # 4
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@jenter:  Just reply sadly that, “Oh, well…its really going to be a small wedding.”  They don’t need to know if “small” is 50 or 500 people – it just gets the point across that the guest list is limited. 

Post # 5
Member
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Haha. Well. DON’T do what I did and send them a Save the Date, and then an invitation….haha. Please don’t come, please don’t come, please don’t come….

Post # 6
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@jenter: Just tell them that you are having a small wedding and family gets invited first. If there is room in your guest list, then they would be on it, but that is yet to be seen. Then change the subject.

Post # 7
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Well, your wedding is almost a year from now so I’d just try to casually brush it off in hopes that they’ll forget about it by the time the wedding rolls around. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’d just stick with “Thank you!  We’re so excited!” for the generic comments.  For the always irritating ‘We’re invited, right?” I’d turn it into a joke.  Something like, “Depends, did you buy me a Christmas gift this year? Wink” or similar. Make them laugh and then move the topic along ASAP.

Post # 10
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Here are some more I read in an article about this!

-“We’re so excited about being engaged-we haven’t even started thinking about the who, when, and where yet!”

-“It’s out of my hand s. My parents are footing the bill, so Mom and Dad are in charge of the guest list.

-“Mike and I are probably paying for everything ourselves, so we’re focused on having a really tiny wedding.”

-I’m so flattered that you’re interested in the wedding! But we haven’t come up with a budget tet. Gotta work on that first!

Post # 11
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@lola2011:  Oh yep, this is what I did…and now I’m praying that a lot of them do not come!  I so can not say no to people, it’s terrible!   lol

Post # 14
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I had this problem with my mom. She kept mentioning the wedding in front of her friends and then another friend would mention it to another friend who would call my mom up and ask if she was invited too. I told my mom like 1000k times to say “well, my daughter just wants a small family wedding” so that her friends wouldn’t be offended that they weren’t invited. But she didn’t. She just kept talking about what a big deal it was and how much work it was (so everyone got the impression it was a huge wedding) and her friends kept asking to be invited. No joke. She had more friends there than I did. Most of whom I had never met. I have NO IDEA why people would be offended about not getting an invite to the wedding of someone they have never met. 

I think you are on the right track with the family first route. You could say “well it looks like my mom’s side alone will take up the whole room, and since we want to honor our families, it looks like we won’t have lots of spots left for friends. But we’ll have you over to the new place after the wedding!” or something like that.

Granted, I’m in the camp that thinks its weird when people get offended by not being invited, so I don’t know. One of my friends was telling me how she was hurt this girl she didn’t get along with in college didn’t invite her to her wedding. Why, oh why, oh why. 

Post # 15
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

These are great ideas!  I probably would have just stood there dumbfounded or just smiled and nodded.  It can  be so awkward. 

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