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i heard babysitting is the best form of birth control. Maybe spend a long weekend watching a friend's baby and you could change your mind. Or it could backfire and make your baby fever worse...
I've heard this can help or backfire as you stated 
The thing is, I work with children for a living and it hasn't helped so far. Thanks for the help.
I work with children too, and I have for my whole life, so it's not good birth control for me, haha! While I'm only 23, I just want to fast foward through all the stages it takes to move up to having a baby! We had a "scare" over the holidays this past year, and when we found out I wasn't, I couldn't believe how SAD I felt!
I'm totally with you on this. I know it's not going to come for at least a couple years, and that's probably the best choice so we can enjoy our married lives together for awhile, but damn, I want babies!
That and all the women's magazines I read about biological clocks. My mom had me when she was 20!
I guess my best advice would be to consider all the things you want to do with your man before you CAN'T do them because you have children. That's what I've been trying to do... It's still hard, but it helps a little!
Seriously, no impromptu movie dates. No sex for a long time! lol
I have never had the urge so I am not much help, sorry! I am way too selfish. All I think about is what I have to give up. Are you planning on adopting? I know when I eventually have kids, I probably would adopt at least one. My mother was adopted and I want to give a child a life he/she would not normal have had otherwise.
Miss Yap: I'm laughing at the no sex for a while. Makes me think of the show Everybody Loves Raymond for some reason. I heard a quote one time that marriage/family life is like Everybody Loves Raymond without the humor! Haha!
I've considered adopting, I'm not opposed to it. The whole adoption scenario was so traumtic for me that I'm not sure that we will adopt, it's something I have to think about more. In one sense I know that a child would be loved and given a wonderful life with us but, I still deal with much hurt from my past and I'm afraid this would make me relive it maybe? I'd definetly like to have a couple of children of our own first, maybe two will be enough for us.
I wanted to ask everyone, am I truly overreacting about my f.m.i.l calling Fi's friends baby her Grandbaby?
Does your fmil know of your desire to have a child. if she does then she is being insensitive. If not then, yes, maybe just a little over reaction. though reading what you have posted of her so far, she doesn't sound like a very nice person to begin with.
Believe it or not 2012 and parenthood will be here sooner than you think. Enjoy every moment with your fiance, and take time to do things for just the two of you... because before you know it, pregnancy and responsibility will be on your doorstep!
I'm sorry you've had so much trauma in your past... I certainly understand how that could color your opinion of adoption. You sound like a survivor!
Miss Yap: F.M.I.L knows I would like children someday soon, in all fairness she doesn't know as to the extent so I guess that answers my question. Thanks for being honest, I guess I needed to hear that. I think part of my annoyance is the fact that I feel like I've never had anything really celebrated big or the attention is always stolen away. Like our wedding, you read about that and the issue so far and none of his family were all that excited until of course I changed the location to suit them, now everyone is gung-ho. Now the baby thing, she goes on to FI about having a baby on a fairly regular basis and part of the reason for the wait for children is because our wedding got postponed because of her (we want to be married before starting a family). For some reason the comment was hurtful to me, FI doesn't agree with me and he doesn't think it's odd that she would call his friends baby her Grandchild. F.MI.L isn't a malicious person, she is a kind hearted woman who means well, problem is that at times she doesn't think and I am clearly an overly sensitive person who needs to chill out. I'm not sure why the comment hurt me. I'm overreacting. Someone slap me, please? 
Mrs DG: Thanks for the input and compliment- you're right, time probably will fly by and when I'm changing those diapers and listening to a screaming baby I'll think back to this and wonder what the heck I was thinking. 
Btw, we are getting married in Tahoe.
Does your FI/Hubby want a baby? Have you talked to him about when he would? If it's not now, then I would suggest creating an almost time line, more of events than dates. Say, what would you like to accomplish before we start trying? Let him know that you are ready now, and will be when he is, but let him know that it's something you are ready for now, and not willing to wait another five years for. This actually helped me and my BF. I am in the same boat as you, but we have been together for less and are waiting to get engaged. I talked to him, and we got some sort of timeline together, where we could compromise. We are waiting until we have our own place all set up, and are married. He said that he wanted to wait until he has a better job (he has a good one now though) so if we are married and he still wants to wait, then that is where my part of the compromising will come in, since I recently found that I have fetility problems. I can't get pregnant unless I go on the fertility drug, Clomid. My ovaries have been messed up since birth, so I can't hope for an 'oops' of any sort. Have you asked about maybe trying on your wedding night? By saying you think it would be the icing on the cake-sort to speak. That it would be so romantic to try then.
What BC are you on now? Do you have an sort of ferility problems? This may be something you look into before trying. Get all your hormones checked and such. I had irregular periods, and that lead to me being almost infertile, for the fact that I didn't really have any other symptoms. Maybe you can slowly lessen your form of birth control. Like, tell him you want to go off the pill, and use the pull out method. This is what we did, then we both compromised on the rhythm method-we started pulling out 3 days before and after I "ovulated" (later found out I wasn't) and having normal intercourse all other times. After doing that for a bit, and finding out that I couldn't get prego as of now, we are Not Trying, Not Preventing (NTNP). So I am not charting, or using ovulation predictor kits or anything, but we are having normal intercourse whenever, and using no form of birth control.
Maybe you can try a similar thing? Or bring up to him that you want to try NTNP, so it's like a compromise?
There is a great board for this on Justmommies.com, where they have boards for newly weds, waiting to try to conceive, am i pregnant, and even my favorite: I want a baby but my partner doesn't! It's nice to meet other's in your position, so see how they have handled it. I would highly suggest it!
http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f296-i-want-baby-but-my-partner-doesn-t/
It is a tough thing to go through, and I feel the emotional rollercoaster associated with it, since I am in the same boat. Give justmommies.com a try, it has really SAVED MY LIFE!
Leafy, if you need any Tahoe info feel free to let me know if I can be of any help!
I'm also sort of having baby fever. My mom had me at 25, and I'll be going on 27 and that mommy instinct is kicking in. I know it won't be in the cards for a few more years, and I know it's not plausible in our current living/financial/etc situation but everytime I see a baby I'm like squeeeeeeeeee!
Stupid question -- but do you have any pets? I have two kitties that my mom calls her grandkids and they give me a little place to put some of that baby-love I have! :o)
I am having major baby fever!
I went shopping at ikea the other day and normally my mom and I walk through the kids section quickly but 2 days ago my mom was laughing at me because I kept stopping at the cribs and high chairs and such!
We are going to start trying right after we get married next year but there is a possibility of fertility challenges so who knows when it will actually happen!
Mrs DG: Thanks for the offer! Very thoughtful of you. I will keep you in mind.
hotchildinthecity & Future Mrs. Martin: It's nice to know I'm not alone in my thinking. I already have two pets, a cat and a dog who are spoiled otten and showered with love......my FI calls me Elmyra from Looney Tunes "I love cats, I love kitty's, I squeeze them to itty bittys!" Haha! If I didn't have a wonderful FI I'd probably eb that crazy cat/dog lady. EEEK! Like you Future Mrs. Martin I also find myself lingering in the baby section a little longer than I should be, swooning over the little socks and onesies. I feel a little whacky each time I type something like that, makes me feel nuts! :P
writerchick324: Thanks for all the insight and helpful info, including the link- I will be checking this out tonight. You're advice about setting goals to accomplish is a great idea and I will do this, right now goal one is to get very healthy- I'm already in pretty good shape but, I want to be in great shape and this is for our wedding also, I want to look great and have a healthy body for when pregnancy (hopefully) comes anocking. I will be visiting my doctor to make sure eveyrthing is A okay inside. I'm not on any form of birth control, we use condoms. We have a plan so to speak, FI is in the military so it can be hard to plan everything when the military dictates so much of when and where things will happen, like we would like to try plan pregnancy around any deployments etc... Financially we are good. When I asked FI about starting a family in 2011/2012 he was onboard and was happy with the plan- he didn't seem overly excited but, I hear/guess thats a male thing. I just dislike that I've become so sad over this whole issue, it has helped to talk to you guys here and I talked to my FI about how I was feeling and he gave me a big hug and told me that it would come soon for us, when the timing is better and we have things a little more in order. He's so right and I know this but, it doesn't really help the feeling, that urge to just dissappear. I know he and others mean well, I need to focus my enegry in to something else and stop being negative. I think what has brought these feeling back again is that many of my friends either just had a baby or are trying/already pregnant- problem is with none of them live nearby so I can't babysit for a day to help surpress these emotions.
I wish the best for you, hopefully you fertility treatment works well with your body. Thanks again. It's nice to know I'm not so crazy in my ways of thinking. :)
I bet it is the wedding planning process that is bringing some of this on! I have always been a bit hesitant on the topic of kids. I've always wanted kids, but never felt that 'I want one now!' feeling. I think part of it is because I work with special needs children, and my ideas on how much care children require is probably skewed because of that. The kids I work with need someone on top of them all day every day, so their caregivers don't have a moment to themselves. I think that worried me for awhile.
Once I started planning a wedding, though...I don't know. When researching wedding blogs I often come across Mommy Blogs and for the first time I stop and think - yeah...yeah, I see it! I find myself envisioning story time at the library, dressing them up to go Trick-or-Treating, vacations to DisneyWorld...and going...I think I like this! Ha ha, I am already hoping and praying that WeddingBee will start a new site called BabyBee...
One word of advice though, to you and to me. My mom was always saying to me as a child "Circus Peanut, don't wish your life away!" This was in response to me always saying 'I can't wait.' I couldn't wait for Halloween, Christmas, vacation, whatever. And she would always respond 'Don't wish your life away, or you won't have any time to enjoy what's going on right NOW.' Remember, this is your engagement, and a very special time in and of itself. Enjoy it!
Leafy, I understand about the "grandbaby" comment hurting you. My mom has wanted grandkids for years now (basically since I graduated college 5 years ago), and when some friends of theirs had a change-of-life baby, she "adopted" the little girl as her "granddaughter." I was a little grateful at first because it took some of the pressure off me (especially since I hadn't even met FI at that point, and wasn't even dating anyone) but now that we're almost married and are thinking about when to have kids, it really bothers me that my mom couldn't just be patient and let me or my brother give her the first grandchild. I know that ours will be her grandkids by blood and it's completely different, but it does bother me and it can't be undone. Also, I always thought it was weird that my mom and the kid would refer to each other as grandchild/grandma when my mom is like two years older than her mom. But fortunately, as the kid has gotten older, she and my mom seem to have grown out of calling each other that. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I know how you feel and it really does suck.
I feel you Leafy! I so want a baby RIGHT NOW, but in all practicallity, it's just not a good time for us. Sometimes I feel like it will never be a good time. But, hubby and I are very young, so I know we have time. For awhile I didn't want a baby. I was so sure I'd want a few years to be selfish, to travel, to sleep in, just to be us. But when baby fever hits it hits BAD. Now, almost nothing can get my to change my mind. I read about people having premi babies and getting next to no sleep, the trials and tribulations of actually BEING pregnant (like not even being able to tie your shoes). I saw a woman who was pregnant and her legs weren't all the way shaved and I'm almost certain it's because she couldn't reach! But even after hearing all the bad, I'm still not turned away and it hasn't died down yet.
Honestly, my fingers are crossed that my BC pills actually fail so that way we can have a baby :p I'm not taking them incorrectly or skipping or anything (cell phone alarm still set!) but I can always have that secret little hope lol I have a friend who I just found out is 3 months preggo and she was on the pills, so that didn't help either. Gives me more hope lol
I do see how that comment can be a little hurtful. I mean, if you guys said you didn't want kids or something and she knew she cant expect a grandbaby from the two of you thats one thing, but that's really not the case here. I don't think she meant it to be hurtful and I would try to let it go, but I can see how I'd take offense to it as well.
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Hi All,
I've got the feva.....the baby feva that is!
FI and I have been together happily for almost five years, we have been engaged since last May, we are both 28. I've been overcome with the urge to have a baby recently, this happened to me last year but, the feelings seemed to dull down slightly, it's back with a vengeance and honestly, it's making me sad and a little irritable. I feel so impatient, I feel more than ready to have a baby- emotionally that is. I was adopted as a toddler and had a very turblulant childhood (was abused by adopted Mother and Brother), my adopted parents abandoned me at 13, I have such a strong desire to finally have my own children, my own little family, I yearn for this but, I know the child chapter won't come until around 2012. I have so much love to give. I find myself day dreaming of life with a child of my own with my (almost) husband, looking up baby names, cooing over babies etc...
F.M.I.L made a comment to my FI best friends who are expecting their first baby soon, she's known this couple for years, anyway she said "how excited she is for her Grandbaby to get here", meaning their baby and this really irked me, I know in reality I'm overreacting and being sensitive about such a small comment but, it hurt my feelings for some reason because she called their baby her Grandbaby......it's like rubbing salt in my wound. Oh sheesh I sound nuts!
Boy oh boy, what has become of me? I've become so sensitive and I guess irrational?
I just needed to get out what I was feeling, thanks for reading. I don't have many female friends who I feel would understand or be helpful so I figured I'd have a little vent here- slightly embarrassing. Any ideas how to suppress this baby urge? Thoughts and comments welcome. Thanks for reading.