Post # 1
We were SO close to having all the dresses for my 4 bridesmaids picked out!! I posted about them here: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/bridesmaid-dresses-found-now-do-they-work-together
Buuuuuut upon going to order the dresses I found out that Bridesmaid #3’s dress does NOT come in the color I need (silver). We looked through every other chiffon, long dress by this designer (JLM Couture) and she did not find any other dress that she liked that came in the right color.
So I am at a loss! I feel like I have three options:
a) Put her in a dress that she doesn’t really like, but is the right color
b) change the color of all the dresses to purple, which they all come in
c) Have her pick a long, gray, chiffon dress from a different designer and hope that the colors are not too different.
What do you ladies think?
Post # 3
I voted to have her pick a gray dress… good luck!
Post # 4
This is a tough one. I would say either change the colors to purple (if no one else minds) or have her pick a dress she doesn’t really “like” in gray.
I would not have her pick a dress from a different designer because I just feel that wouldn’t really work out.
Post # 5
@hotchild: yeah, I”m nervous too about picking a different designer, especially since I would be basing how well they match on the teeny tiny fabric swatches they have in the book. I mean, could they make those ANY smaller?!
Post # 6
different shades of gray look way different–i was thinking of doing gray dresses at first and saw a bunch. for the other 2 options, it’s really a priority call–i’d rather have all my girls be comfortable and switch to a different color, but it’s what’s important to you.
Post # 7
I don’t think it’s fair to put her in a dress that she doesn’t like. Yes it is your wedding, but she’ll be in that dress for hours and hours and if she is uncomfortable it will show in your pictures and she’ll just all around have a bad time. NOT GOOD.
I voted to change the dresses to purple.
Post # 8
So it would be totally selfish/awful of me to ask her to wear a dress that she doesn’t really like, huh? I mean, the thing is I know she would do it if I asked her to. But I don’t want her to hate every second she’s wearing the dress…
Siiiigh…I just want this part of the planning to be over! We’ve been looking for dresses for FOUR months!
Post # 9
What if the BM all wore either the one that BM1 or BM2 have? Do either of those come in her size? I think if they do, then the BMs could match and the MOH will have the different dress. Does BM3 like either of the other BM dresses? If you were trying to have them all different-I’m sorry, but it might be simpler to just have all the BMs wear the same dress??? Good Luck!
Post # 10
When I first started planning, I would of said to change the color. But now, I think you should just have her wear a dress she doesn’t exactly like, but is the right color. It is your wedding after all.
Are you leaning toward one option versus the others?
Post # 11
@rlsulli: the thing is that all the bridesmaids are wearing different dresses. So if she wore one of the same dresses, then I would have two bridesmaids in the same dress, one in a different dress, and the MOH in a different dress. Not the WORST look in the world, but it might look a little off. Plus, this bridemaid doesn’t like the dresses that the other girls are wearing, lol. I originally did want them all in the same dress but they all have SUCH different body types that it’s really hard to find one dress that looks good on them all. I thought I was making it easier by picking different dresses!
@jennifer: I would love love to have them in gray dresses, so I’m leaning toward having her pick a dress she doesn’t love–just because that’s been my “vision” since the planning process started. But I don’t want to do that if it’s going to make her miserable, you know? So I don’t know…
Post # 12
bump to get more opinions 🙂
Post # 13
I dunno how I missed that last post b/c I LOVE the 1st 2 dresses.
The dresses for BM #1 and BM #3 are similar in silhouette. Do you think she’d go for that?
It might not be putting her a dress she “hates” rather in a dress she doesn’t love but doesn’t mind wearing. Not to say she’d be uncomfortable or self conscious in it, just that it wouldn’t be her 1st choice. I’ve worn plenty of BM dresses I don’t really like, but I still wore them.
If not and you’d rather make her happy, then I say change the color to purple since they all come in the same shade. I wouldn’t go to another designer because the colors could be all off. Although, I know Alvina Valenta & Lazaro are JLM dresses too – do they have the same dye lots?
Post # 14
Here’s a question – are they paying for their own dresses? If they are NOT, then I would definitely do what YOU want and just have her be in a dress she doesn’t love that’s not the right color. If they are paying for their own dresses, then it would be NICE to let them pick their own dresses, but it’s YOUR wedding and you don’t have to do that. Is it likely they’ll be wearing these dresses all that much again anyway? Probably not. If you’ve had a vision of the dresses from the get-go, I think you can ask her to pick a different dress in the CORRECT color. Color’s important to you and she should be understanding. You shouldn’t have to change the color of your wedding party just for this one dress. I let my bridesmaid pick her dress, but stimulated that it MUST be navy. If she found a dress that wasn’t navy, then she just kept looking. You can do the same with your bridesmaids. Good luck!
Post # 15
Is she saying that she doesn’t like them based on only the pictures? My bridesmaids are picking their own Dessy dresses and the ones who have gone to shops have said that trying them on has made a huge difference. Can she go try on some of the JLM ones or maybe even find some similar shapes/styles and see which kind work best for her?
I think at this point, if you want gray, you should stick with gray and have her find a dress she’s satisfied with. She doesn’t have to love it, but just be okay with it.
ETA: I just checked out your other post and the dress BM #3 picked out is pretty similar to BM #1. She didn’t like that dress? I think it would be fine to have 2 in the same dress and the 2 others in different dresses.
Post # 16
@Dancy: That’s kind of how I feel…I mean, I think it’s GREAT if you, as a bridesmaid, love your dress, but I think the requirement should just be that you feel comfortable in it. So I might try to find something that she can stand in the right color.
@Adira: they are paying for their own dresses, so unfortunately I don’t have total control 🙂 But they are all really great and would wear a dress they didn’t like if it made me happy (I think). But I just have guilt about making them buy something they don’t really like. But maybe I need to get over that, lol.
@bmore: we’ve literally tried on every long chiffon dress from Jim Hjelm, Alvina Valenta, and lazaro (@Dancy, they do have the same dye lots). And there were two that she liked–and neither come in the right color!
@Dancy and @bmore: she actually did try on BM#1’s dress, but didn’t really like it on herself. I think also, since BM #1 is wearing it, and she’s 5’11” and super thin, BM#3 is maybe a little worried about being compared to how she looks in it if they wear the same one? Maybe that’s not it, but I feel like it might be a part of it.
Would it look weird to have 2 of them in that dress and 2 others in different dresses? Maybe I’ll have her try that dress on again…