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You are a brave woman! I honestly am not going to leave my opinion regarding lap dances on here because it is too strong, and I am afraid of offending anyone. But bottom line, I no likey!
It would make me vomit too, I think. Though, I have the same perspective you used to have - I even told FI that he should go ahead and go to the strippers. Though, I'm sure my perspective would change if I saw the lapdance thing. There's just something... wrong? I think that's the word... about seeing a half naked woman grinding up on your man, no matter the circumstance.
Perhaps you could make an agreement about no lapdances at the bachelor party, and then play ignorant about it. His buddies may go ahead and order it anyway, but if you don't see it, I would just assume it didn't happen.
I have been to the strip club a few times, and I was so busy laughing that I didn't really get any "sexy" feelings out of it. But also, here in Minneapolis we have a super wide variety of strip clubs. We have Deja Vu, which is super trashy, full-nudity and no-alcohol. Or on the opposite side of the spectrum we have The Seville Club, which is really upscale, only topless and serves alcohol.
Boy and his friends went to The Seville club for his BFF's bachelor party, and it was apparently super low-key. There were lap dances, but the more classy atmosphere kept everything as clean as can be, while still having topless ladies running about.
I am not sure if every city has trashy & classy strip clubs, but I definatly know I'd feel more comfortable with my fellow at a reputable establishment rather than the 'vu.
hmmm... yeah your brave. I too have strong oppinions on strip clubs. Especially married or about to be married men at them. What you felt that day was nothing but natural. I honestly would have been in tears. What would your FI feel like if he walked in on some half naked guy all over you at a strip club? I dont think he would be happy. I might start something saying this but....woman who strip really could find better ways to make thier money then look like girls who have no respect for themselves or the woman whos husbands they are grinding all on. And men...well they just need to ask themselves if they would be happy having some guy all over their girl.
@ Ilikepink. Can you have classy strip clubs???? lol sorry Im not being sarcastic and dont mean to offend anyone but a "classy strip club" just kinda sounds silly.
@Kare7213--With you 100%. I know that I would be way cooler if I was one of those girls who was totally fine with strip clubs, but I'm not, and I can't pretend to be.
I heart you for posting this 
I love strip clubs - I have a great time going to strip clubs. It became a thing to do because after college when I moved back to CA (after going to college in NY) living in the city when our fun nights were over we didn't want to end our nights. Well we also didn't want to go to after hour parties filled with chaos and drugs and all other sorts of whacked out business.... As a result my gal pals and I would go to the strip clubs. Then whenever we went to Vegas we would go to Olympic Gardens (OG,) you know the boys on the top and the girls on the bottom - everyone can have some fun!!!!!
After dating FH for a while I learned that he isn’t a strip club dude. It was something I couldn’t fathom – I just couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that a guy couldn’t enjoy the entertainment of strip clubs. I talked with his buddies about it and they told me while at x’s bachelor party FH actually fell asleep in the car vs. going into the strip club. I asked if it was due to alcohol and they said nope!!! Fast forward - - FH and I take a mini vaca in Vegas and I want to pay a visit to OG, remembering the past good times…While sitting there with FH I could see that he was disgusted!!!!!
Guys – strip clubs aren’t for all of them. If your FH felt uncomfortable w/ that lap dance he will never feel comfortable having one, regardless of your presence. I think its great that it happened, that you didn’t like it, and that you talked about it with him. Have no worries – everything is all good 
@Kare, By classy, I mean, in comparision to other strip clubs! Haha, not like, 3 Star Michelin Dining classy. It doesn't feel covered in eight layers of sleaze.
I shoud also mention that I am way more comfortable around naked ladies than my boy is. I love Burlesque, and he won't even go. I guess I should be hanging out with Jackie more.
To the OP: yeah, you can't help how you feel.
I asked my FI about this topic last night, and his advice to people was to make sure your FI goes to the nicest club in town. Most of the nice ones are making hundreds of thousands of dollars a night, and won't jeopardize that by allowing sex acts or drug dealing to occur. Guards should be everywhere, and there should be attendants in the bathrooms. If not, don't go.
And what is his authority? Drumroll....he married a stripper! When he was 19 (now 34) and they knew eachother before hand. But, so, yeah, his ex-wife stripped for a while. I'll only say that he had green hair and 12 piercings and had a life-time ban from three bars at Kent State for dancing naked on-stage. Now he has a non-profit conservation job, has received awards from the Governor, takes me to the symphony and ballet regularly, and looks like a middle-aged banker. LOL.
@monitajb: Thanks for a great laugh today! I guess you really cant judge someones past by their now adays cover!
I can totally understand being skeezed out by strip clubs and CERTAINLY not wanting your FI/husband to go... but personally, I'm with Jackie and ILikePink - I like them =) I've never gone with my FI, though - he's not a strip-club-dude.
I did this exact same thing you did and I felt the exact same way you did. I fought my inner self from getting pretty upset about it bc like you I thought "well I am here and I am pretty sure I am ok with it" and then I seen it and HATED it!!!!!! I dont mind going with him or going out to them with my friends and stuff like that but I couldnt handle the lap dancing. Thank you for posting this!!!! Glad to see I am not alone!
I've never been in a strip club because I know I don't like them. Personally, I would not ever be ok with my FI going to one or getting a lap dance. For me, it is socially acceptable cheating (which is not acceptable to me).
Thanks for the support... I'm definitely not anti-strip club-- we'll probably be back this weekend for another bday party! haha I think it's fun to go with the mixed group, we laugh and dance, it's usually no harm. This was just the first time with the whole lap dance experience and was surprised in my natural reaction.
I did just talk to him and told him I posted on here and he totally said he isn't so interested in going for his bachelor party (they're probably going to Mohegan Sun in CT) and just as long as I don't do the whole male stripper thing--which I am totally okay with because I don't think is hot at all-- anyway I'm happy we have the kinda relationship where we can talk about these things but still... that image is still so fresh!!
Thanks bees!
It's upsetting to have your private space and boundaries violated. It's violating. Not necessarily a big deal but not pleasant either. So of course men that don't want lap dances but have someone else get them and are pressured into sitting there are not going to enjoy it. Think about how you would feel if a guy you don't know and don't like was touching you when you didn't want him to because other people pressured you - he's not hurting you but ugh doesn't that feel terrible? So, I feel sorry for those guys, just because they are men doesn't mean they don't deserve respect for their body privacy. On the other hand, if I was in the mood for it and wanted a lap dance from a guy - completely different expeirence. If you are abivilant you might have both positive and negative feelings. Men are told they don't get to say no and shouldn't want to - which is sad.
So it might help to look at the image in your head from a protective rather than jealous perspective - no one should make your man endure being touched when and by whom he doesn't want. :)
I went to a strip club with my ex. I won't repeat that experience with my FI. It was kind of like a night mare.
major props, Habibah14, on being able to talk to your fi about feeling uncomfortable and being open about it! that's definitely the most important thing.
Glad you worked it out! I would feel the SAME as you, trust me.
I totally agree with arachna. Anyway, I see he's probably not going, but if he does or you think his friends might hire a stripper, you should talk to his best man or whoever is organizing the bachelor party. Tell him, seriously, that FI doesn't like lap dances, and please not to push him into one, he can ask FI if he wants to. Also ask him to please have one sober person at the party so they don't get hurt. I find that good guys really do want to watch out for each other, sometimes it takes them a while to get that it's not "funny", though, and they can be hard to reason with when drunk (ok, so can I...). I have already asked our best man to take care of my fiance, who can get melancholy when drunk, and even though he's an idiot sometimes, he very seriously promised "of course, always".
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I have been silently following a thread about the strip club and after this past weekend (was FIs BDAY and we went to the strip club) I have something to add -- just need to get off my chest so I can move on from it!
So it's FI's bday and we usually go to the local strip club for bdays and such (yeah, I seriously don't know how this came about!) Anyway, FI has never had a lap dance and me being drunk said it was okay, so my girlfriends bought him one-- well I had run to the bathroom and when I got back out all I could see was the back of his head and the stripper doing her thing. I didn't realize how upset it made me until I saw it first hand. I thought I would be okay with it but it definitely made me want to vomit. Afterward we talked about it and he said it was really weird and didn't really enjoy it. He said it made him feel uncomfortable.
The only time FI has been to the strip club has been with me and I told him he could do it for his bachelor party but now after seeing first hand how it made me feel, I am second guessing my decision. Now I know I wouldn't be there to witness it but the image is kinda burned into my brain and without me being there, I'd imagine it might get a little more wild!
I think he would respect my discomfort and if he was being honest about not really enjoying it, it shouldn't be a big deal.
Anyway! Just wanted to share my story/feelings and get a little support. Whew! Feels a little better already! Thanks bees! :)