(Closed) yes im anorexic, now stop judging!

posted 6 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
2759 posts
Sugar bee


Anorexia and other eating disorders are badly understood by many and so difficult to live with. I witnessed the debilitating effects of bulemia in college with a close friend, and it was so hard not only to watch her go through it but once people found out the way they talked about her behind her back and even to her face… horrible.

I’m sorry your family can’t be more understanding or supportive. I hope your husband is, and I truly hope you’re getting help from an outside source – a support group, a therapist, etc. – but I also know that even if you are, anorexia is a lifetime thing. I think people don’t get that with mental disorders – they think if you just do a couple of therapy sessions or take medication it’ll all go away in an instant and you won’t have any more problems. They don’t see that you learn to live with it and take measures to deal with it, rather than “make it go away”.

Try not to let their judgements effect you. I know it’s going to hurt because it always does when people blame you for something you can’t help or try to make you feel foolish for something serious, but you have to focus on you, on recovery and on the life you’re building with your husband.

Post # 4
2759 posts
Sugar bee

PS – It might help if your in-laws knew more about anorexia to understand what you’re going through. I found a couple of books on Amazon, maybe if you gave them one or two to read they could open their eyes to what you’re going through and see what’s really happening? Just a thought.



Post # 7
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I had major eating issues when I was in high school and college and even sought treatment for disordered eating so I know how you feel. I am also living proof that you can really get over this and move on with your life and live and eat very normally.

That being said, it’s amazing how little people really understand about these disorders. I remember losing 21lbs in about 3 weeks and my parents never said anything about it. I also remember being 20 years old and having legit temper tantrums if my dad would make me an egg white omelet with butter versus cooking spray, and they never said anything about it. They lived with me and they didn’t even see it or understand it was a problem. Unfortunately, people just won’t get it.

That being said, please consider getting professional help if you haven’t already…I promise things can get better from here!

Post # 8
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Are you receiving any treatment for your disorder? I ask out of concern for your safety and well being, not to be rude. 

People who do not understand eating disorders can be very rude and hurtful. I struggled with a lot of ignorance before I agreed to go to treatment. 

I hope you’re safe and healthy on your wedding day- you deserve it.


Post # 9
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Wow, I hope you just take care of yourself. Your inlaws should learn to keep their mouth shuts. As I’m sure you know, living with someone with that diease isn’t easy, and sometimes people don’t know how to react.

Post # 10
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

its sad that you say “I am anorexia” . your so much more than the illness. help is possible and even though it seems impossible you can get better. ((hugs))

Post # 11
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You really need to get treatment. I’m on the road to recovery, but only because I’m in treatment. You need to take care of yourself for your husband, if not yourself. Please?

I agree about the insensitivity of others, but remember, they can’t understand. This kind of thing, people just cannot understand unless they’ve been through it. It’s true they frequently make insensitive comments, but it’s typically not intentional. Hang in there! xoxo

Post # 12
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Sorry! People can be so judgemental.  I struggled with bulemia for almost a decade and can understand part of your frustration.  My parents threw me into treatment and although they tried, never really did understand.  I can honestly say treatment didn’t do a thing for me until I was ready to make a change, and that took some time.  IMO eating disorders are not just about a distorted image of yourself, but a feeling of a lack of control over your life (whether related to childhood events or otherwise).  Personally, I made absolutely no progress until I realized WHY I was doing this to myself.  It was literally the only thing I felt in control of when I felt like everything else was spinning out of control.  Anyways, sorry for the epistle.  The point is, take heart that there are many bees who understand what you’re going through and try your best to ignore all of the judging from the in-laws.  If you ever decide to seek help, know that there will be bees here that will support you in that as well.

Post # 13
1077 posts
Bumble bee

Agreed! Although I have never had an eating disorder I do have the occasional bout with clinical depression that I have to be on medication for. I hate when people tell me to “just cheer up” or “you need to exercise and eat right”. Uh, thanks. Not helpful. What’s worst though is when people walk around on eggshells around you because they don’t want to make you “worse”. It’s a chemical imbalance, sure you can stress me out but treating me like a delicate flower isn’t any better.

You are awesome, don’t let anyone tell you any different!

Post # 14
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I know how you feel. When I was in my late teens I got my official diagnosis of anorexia nervosa. I’ve been struggling ever since. 

Don’t let people who don’t understand dysmorphia get you down, and PLEASE seek treatment if you’re not already. I’ve been “recovered” for 6 years and still struggle…I definitely wouldn’t be even halfway to where I am now had it not been for therapy. 

I hope you improve. Going through life hating yourself is so painful. 


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