Post # 1
My SIL called yesterday to ask my husband and I if we could babysit our 5 month old niece overnight this coming Saturday. Of course, we were happy to oblige! Since we are expecting our first baby in October, we need all the practice we can get.
My mom called tonight to ask if we were for sure babysitting. After confirming that we were, she went on to say, “Are you sure you can handle that? I haven’t even watched her overnight yet!” Ummmm… are you kidding me? I went on to explain that I’m 27, an expectant first-time mom, and that this would be good practice for us. She didn’t seem to understand why I was getting defensive. One thing I’ve realized during this pregnancy is that I am so sick and tired of people who continue to give unsolicited pregnancy and mothering advice – especially my own mother who appears to have doubts about whether or not I can even handle a baby on my own. I appreciate advice… but give it to me when I ask. Maybe I’m overreacting — but would you be frustrated if your mom said something like that to you? Deep down, I think she’s just irritated that my SIL didn’t ask her to watch the baby overnight.
Post # 3
Your last sentence is EXACTLY what I was going to say before I even read that part! She probably wanted to be the first to watch her overnight and is taking it out on you. And as a pregnant women I totally understand you being super frustrated by it, just because it seems like everyone in the freaking world has comments and judgements about our impending parenthood, and usually when I end up losing it and in tears over a comment it’s something coming from my mom or Darling Husband – usually it’s something that might not be a big deal on it’s own, but since their opinion is important to me, I’m already hormonal and over-sensitive, and they’re kind of a safe person to lose it on….that is what happens.
Post # 4
@amw511s: UGHHH. So with you on being over the unsolicited advice! It’s like everyone loses their filter once they realize you’re pregnant and there is pretty much nothing else more obnoxious to me right now.
Sorry about your mom, but part of me almost wonders if it’s less about her not thinking you’re capable and more about being jealous that you get to watch the baby overnight before she does? That would make it a little better in my head, at least. lol
ETA: Whoops. Guess I didn’t read your last sentence where you stated pretty much exactly what I was guessing at above. =P
Post # 5
My mom had the same reaction when we told her we were getting a DOG. “Really? You’re getting a dog? Aren’t you too busy for that? You realize they’re a lot of work, right?” I can’t even imagine what she’ll be like when we’re put in this situation, or have kids. /eyeroll
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I think you’re right about her being jealous that they didn’t ask her… and honestly, it sounds like she wants to be “needed.” I don’t know if you’ll ever get her off your back because, well, she’s your mom, but I would at least express to her how it makes you feel when she says stuff like that.
Post # 6
I agree…. she just wanted to watch her first.
And I HATE getting advice! I’m due in July and I hate that when I rub my back someone says, “Just wait it will get worse..” Or “Get all the sleep you can now!” SHUT UP!!!
Enough about me… I would try to ignore your mom and enjoy watching the baby. Darling Husband and I had our friend’s 3 month old overnight last year and boy was that a crash course in having a baby!!! I was up every few hours to feed her. After her mom picked her up we slept for like 6 hours!!!lol…
Post # 7
honestly i agree with you.. your mom is obviously put out that she wasnt asked.. she even said it herself “even i havent looked after her over night…” i think she was really wanting you to say, “mom why dont you look after her over night”. i dont think it is about you at all.. its really about her. And i dont think she meant to criticize you, but was probably hurt that she wasnt asked first.
Ohh and i oly just read what the other posters had written.. so i think we all agree. not at all about your parenting skills but rather the fact tht she wast asked first..
Post # 8
Thanks ladies. I appreciate your kind words!