Post # 1
Today out of nowhere suddenly my Fiance and I had a knock down fight about how big our wedding cake should be. We’re serving dessert and tons of food, so my Fi thought we could get a puny little cake because not everybody would eat it, and I said it should be big enough for every guest for etiquette so it’s not first come first serve.
I can’t even believe some of the things we are fighting about lately. We’re at the 5 month out mark and never fought before wedding planning, and suddenly we are having the worst fights about the stupidest details!
Please share what you’re fighting about during wedding planning!
Post # 3
Smaller cake and then sheet cake? Best of both worlds?
Post # 4
Believe it or not, I think the only thing we argued over was having our monogram on the cover of our wedding programs. Darling Husband was adamant that he wanted what I (and the sample programs) suggested should have been the first right-hand page on the inside of the program — the title of the program — on the cover. He was fine with having the monogram, but he thought it would look pretentious to have it on the cover of the wedding programs and wanted its location to be switched with the title page. Although I wanted to follow tradition, I realized fairly quickly that this was very important to him, and I decided it really did put the focus more on our ceremony by actually reversing these two items.
By the way, Darling Husband is sitting here next to me, so I asked him if we fought about anything else while we were engaged, and he (being a VERY funny man) shook his head slowly and said, “No. We saved it all for the marriage.” Clown! 🙂
Post # 6
Sorry, I can’t help you! We didn’t have any arguements about the wedding planning!
Generally, small fights about things that are seemingly insignificant are generally indicative of something bigger that is bothering one of you. At least I find that is the way that I work.
Post # 7
@treacle: Completely agree with that.
Hubby and I were one of those rare, strange couples that never fought leading up to the wedding.
We are also both big “pick your battles” kind of people. If you are serving lots of dessert, you really would not need a large cake!
Post # 8
Ok, we CAN’T be alone in having fights during planning! We have such a strong relationship and communication is one our biggest strengths!
We handled the first part with no problems, made decisions easily and together.
Maybe the stress and pressure is just mounting? I definitely know I’m getting stuck on the details.
Post # 9
I guess I should have weighed in on the cake issue while I’m here, too. I totally agree with you. I think you definitley should have enough cake so that every guest is able to have a slice. Some people LOVE wedding cake, and they will not want to forgo having a piece, even if they decide to put it in a napkin and take it home with them. I was disappointed because I downsized my cake to feed 150 from 170 when my guest count turned out to be lower than anticipated. In hindsight, I sometimes wish I had not done that, because Darling Husband and I each only had one tiny slice of our amazing almost $800 cake, which we took with us to our hotel. I would have loved to have had some left over for after the wedding.
Post # 10
@Sunshine09: Hi date twin!!
Bizarre fight that Fiance and I recently had was over my ring….I am SUPER picky, so I picked it out myself, and sent him pics….he loved it so I just went online and bought it myself. Later he overheard me telling my Maid/Matron of Honor it was an estate piece and got really mad-he literally yelled “I don’t want you wearing some old lady’s ring! It’s supposed to be YOUR ring!” He is normlly so easygoing, I couldn’t believe that bothered him! We comprimised by agreeing we’d engrave it with our date so it would really be “mine”.
I’ve found that we’re agreeing on all the big stuff….it’s the small stuff that seems to cause unexpected arguments!
Post # 11
I’d do a smaller cake for display and then sheet cake. It’s way cheaper and tastes the same anyway.
Post # 12
we fight about the dumbest wedding things it seems like. Theres just a lot of stress and so many opinions flying around.
Post # 13
@sara_tiara: Hi back date twin!
Actually that’s really funny, bc my Fiance also feels very strongly about my ring. We haven’t fought about it but he’s like, very territorial over it. He keeps talking about it. He’s really excited to get it.
Thanks for chiming in! I know it seriously can’t just be me that’s having these planning fights – we’re solid, but this planning….ugh! So many details…and some of them we just don’t see eye to eye on!
Post # 14
How about doing dummy cake layers. The cake will look bigger and more elegant that way. That way you can have one of the layers be a real but small cake. And, just in case the guests want some wedding cake, just have sheet cake available on the side. No one will be able to tell the difference, since dummy cakes are decorated with real frosting anyway.
Only thing we fight about is money,a nd it’s not really a fight. But I’m constantly afraid of not being able to afford this or that for the wedding. I’m in law school, so I’m im in starving student mode, and my fiance is always frustrated with trying to convince me that I don’t have to worry and he’ll take care of me. =)
Post # 15
If it’s any consolation, Fiance and I had a fight about our cake too.
We’re baking our own, so we’ve been doing trial tiers for potlucks and parties. I don’t even remember how it started, but we were both overworked, stressed and GRUMPY. And somehow it ended up being about cake.
…anyways, we figured it out, apologized and came up with a better solution to the problem together, and made up in a long hot shower 😉
I think because he & I both have strong ideas about what what WE want out of OUR wedding, that planning is taking lots of discussion and compromise from us both.
Post # 16
We have yet to have a fight…but I’m sure it will happen….
My Fiance is really easy going and so far has put in some ideas…..and I try to incorporate what I can…..