Post # 1
My FI has decided to invite a half dozen friends from grad school. He tells me this morning “not to worry because we don’t have to send them invitations”. So I naturally ask “oh are we not inviting them anymore?” He tells me they are invited but we don’t have to worry about sending them invitations he already informed them they are invited.
He says it will save us money (ya, I’m super worried about all of 10 dollars it will cost) and they don’t care and they got save the dates with the website so its really just unnecessary. I say its tacky and he says I just don’t understand his friends and they don’t care.
Post # 3
@Snowy414: Just tell him they have to get invitations because this is a wedding, not a house party.
Also, they will need to return the physical RSVP cards and cannot do that without receiving a formal invitation.
Post # 4
Sometimes guys just really don’t get it, and it sounds like this is one of those situations. Your FI is probably right about one thing: his GUY friends probably don’t care about physical invites. But if any of them are girls or if their girlfriends are invited too, it’s very likely that they’ll notice and be offended. I’d send them invites, if I were you.
Post # 5
lol, my fiance refuses to mail invitations to his work friends. He thinks “It’s a waste of money” when he sees them everyday. I realized I don’t have their addresses, so it’s not really a battle I’m willing to fight. Too funny!
Post # 6
I also don’t think he is understanding save the dates either. He keeps asking how many people have RSVP’d since we sent out the save the dates. well, none because no one has been invited yet.
He feels the same way about sending invitation to his groomsmen. Ok I get, they are boys and don’t care but they are in the wedding party and we can’t send an invitation. Lets skip our parents are grandparents too since they should know when and where too.
@KatNYC2011 I think your point about response cards is why he feels this way, we aren’t doing response cards, just online RSVP.
Post # 7
Mr. Hedgie was like that for a while but finally he realized what I was saying and got their addresses. I think it happened after a friend of our got engaged and their wedding was supposed to be in April and we still hadn’t gotten an invite because “he already knew we were invited”. It bugged Mr. Hedgie to no end so now we will be mailing out invited to EVERY invited person.
Post # 8
I’ve been invited to a wedding by word of mouth. I’m in grad school and it was grad school friends. It was weird because I wasn’t 100% sure they really wanted us to come. Then, turned out we couldn’t go (it was about 4 hours drive away on a holiday weekend) and I wasn’t sure how to tell them we couldn’t come since we didn’t get an RSVP card. I told them face to face and then the couple was disappointed we couldn’t make it.
The reality was, we had a conflict and since we we’re given a formal invite I didn’t think we should try to reconcile the conflicts so we could attend. I had no idea they really wanted us there, I just thought they were being polite and inviting classmates out of obligation.
Moral of the story, if its someone you are truly inviting, give them an invite. Its easier for everyone. You also run the risk of more people crashing because they heard about it word of mouth too…. Invites definitely exist for a reason 🙂