Post # 1
Hub and I found out we were expecting July 10. We had been trying since our honeymoon in Oct, and we were very excited AF finally left the building. 🙂
It has been an emotional journey. I have been very hormonal, which has heightened my anxiety surrounding my older son and his struggles and the family heartache they have caused. All this anxiousNess led me to fear and Mom’s guilt, and I couldn’t regret those emotional and stressfulmonths more.
Hub and I went for our first prenatal visit yesterday. We are 8/2. The baby only measures 7/1 and the OB could find no HB. The u/s tech came in to confirm, and unfortunately did. I need some peace of mind that this is really real, I never dreamed this could happen, so we are going back next week for another u/s.
I am heartbroken. I wish Hub and I had spent more time feeling joy. That I had been less emotional and anxious. Hub of course tells me to not apologize, and everything will be okay.That sometimes things just happen, without explanation, and we should focus in moving ahead.
Here is where I need some support from Bees that have been in this awful place. Deciding a course of action. Medical Mc or DandC. I know I can’t wait on nature, emotionally. The pills scare me, I’ve read so many horror stories abou the pain and duration of MC, and that they don’t always complete things. The DandC scares me with all the statistics I have read on potential for scarring and possible future conception/pregnancy problems. I have no idea what to do. One minute I want to use pills to try and let things happen as closely to natures way as possible, the next I want to opt for DandC so we can know it is complete and move ahead more quickly. I know we want to TTC again, and as quickly as possible. And that I hope we are Never here again.
If you have had to go through this, wold you mind sharing your story. How did you decide?
Post # 3
I am so sorry you are going throught this. I have not but I remember my mother experiencing this when I was 16. She was about 4 months along. I remember her saying the DandC felt complete. I know it was emotionally difficult for her and I wish you strength in the weeks ahead.
Post # 4
I am so sorry you are going through this, it is such a difficult thing to experience.
Someone asked a similar question a few months ago and received a lot of responses… maybe that post will be helpful? http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/natural-miscarriage-or-d038c-what-would-you-do-038-why
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Post # 5
I’m so sorry for yours & your DH’s loss.
As for the options, while some people do experience pain with the medical abortion, many people find it no worse than a heavy period. Ultimately, however, it’s up to you. Your doctor should be able to do a “suction aspiration D&C”, rather than a “traditional” D&C with a curette. The suction tool does not cause scarring or fertility problems. I would ask him/her if that is an option (it really should be! most MDs don’t use a metal curette anymore, and even if they don’t do the suction, the plastic curette has a very very low likelihood of causing damage).
I know there are many Bees on here who have shared their stories before about making this choice. I’m sure that they will weigh in here to give you the advice you need.
Post # 6
I’m so sorry that you are going through this. I had a miscarriage a few months ago. My body took care of everything for me, so I didn’t have a decision to make. I’m assuming the pill would ‘act’ like nature?? I can only tell you that my experience wasn’t bad. Just like a heavy period with cramps. I pretty much laid up in bed that afternoon when it started (It was a Sunday). Then following day, my doctor got me in to confirm everything and gave me the ok to wear a tampon. The cramps pretty much stopped and I bleed for (I think) three more days.
My doctor was really against a DNC and said to just wait to see what nature would do. She didn’t want a chance of scarring if we could prevent it.
I guess the plus side to the DNC is that it’s over quickly. Where as I remember saying to my husband “I wish the bleeding would stop so It’s not a constant reminder”.
Prayers to you and your husband through this difficult time and know that the bees are here for you!
Post # 7
Just wanted to say I’m so so sorry. Best wishes to you and hubs x