Post # 1
This is my first post. Sorry if it’s long or confusing! I keep going back and forth on this so I need some opinions!
My FI’s friend/co-worker got married about 2 months ago — one month before the wedding, my Fiance was verbally invited to attend. I was a little offended by this because it was pretty short notice for a destination wedding (so we would’ve had to buy tickets, get hotel etc, out of the country no less!) and Fiance had already heard about the wedding — from other co-workers/friends saying that they were attending and that had asked him if he was going (he hadn’t even been invited/asked yet at that point) — point is, it seemed clear to me that we were the B-list.
My Fiance thought it was not a big deal because some other co-workers/friends of his had been verbally invited as well and were going to attend (and in fact did attend).
Now it’s time for us to send out our invitations. I really do not want to invite this guy — the problem is that Fiance is friends with a whole group of people that include this guy, so it’s the kind of thing if you invite X you have to invite Y. He feels we should invite this guy because after all "he invited us". I think that a lame verbal invitation doesn’t count — so what I do I do? Do I invite this guy? If I don’t, it will be pretty obvious that I got offended and so far I’ve managed to keep things nice and cordial (I see him a lot, because he’s part of the "group" and they do a lot of things all the time).
Post # 3
First – welcome to the hive and congrats on your engagement!!
If it were me I wouldn’t want to invite him either, but perhaps that’s just because I can get very fiesty about things like that. Clearly you were asked to attend his wedding because someone else dropped out. He didn’t seem concerned to invite other guys in this "group" and not your Fiance and had no problem with it being at all awkward that he did this.
However – since this is your FI’s friend, sometimes you have to bite the bullet and let him take the reins. If he wants to invite him still then my advise would be to go along with it. That way you and your guy won’t be arguing and it won’t be ucomfortable for either of you when you have to interact with him in the future. Men just don’t care abotu this stuff as much as women. Hope this helps and good luck!
Post # 4
Is it a situation where your Fiance is inviting others from this group? How is your guest list running right now? If you’re running long already, just B-list. They clearly B-listed you so you’re well within your right to do the same. If your Fiance is really adamant about inviting him, though, then just suck it up. No need to get in any sort of squabble over something so small. But if he feels he is obligated to but doesn’t want to, maybe gently remind him that he was a B-list guest…
Post # 5
Honestly I would not take into account the verbal invitation. Whether someone invited you to their wedding, in whatever means, shouldn’t dictate whether you invite them to yours. When it comes to work friends, I tend to err on the side, that you should only invite who you really want there. Otherwise, it can get out of hand really, really fast, and pretty soon you have an extra 30 people on the guest list!
Post # 7
While I think it was definitely a B-list invite…we love those…LOL!, if it is just this one co-worker of your Fiance, and your Fiance wants him there, then I would invite him.
My guy works for a large company but in small groups all over the state. I know we will be inviting some of his co-workers that he has become friends with, if he wanted to add one more guy that he had forgotten about I’d be okay with that, especially if it was one from his current crew knowing that all of the others have been invited.
Post # 8
Hi, and congratulations! I firmly believe that you should not invite anyone that’s not meaningful to you. It would be one thing if this coworker mattered to your fiance, but it doesn’t sound it’s that important for him, except for appearances. I guess it just depends on the size of your guest list. Good luck!