Post # 1
Just got engaged a couple of weeks ago (yay!). We haven’t started any real planning yet but we’ve had some general discussions. I don’t really know where to start with the planning, but I figured the best idea was to get a sense of what the guest list would be first and then move from there to find the right size venue and food options, etc.
So, guest list. We’d like to keep it relatively small so we can actually spend time with our guests, have good food and music and all of that within a reasonable budget. I’m a bit older and thus a number of my friends have children at this point. For financial and size-related reasons, we don’t want to invite all of the potential guests’ children. We do have one adorable nephew and I am pretty sure no one would feel slighted if he were there, as the only “family” child. The problem comes in that there is another little girl, our friends’ daughter, that we would love to have as our flower girl. Would it be a faux pas to just have these two children (both as part of the wedding party, ring bearer and flower girl), and no others? As I said, my nephew is family so that’s an easy cut-off – I just worry that adding a non-family child might not be kosher.
Thanks so much for your insights!
Post # 3
i like the rule of “family only kids” (that’s what we’re doing too), but as far as that one exception, i say go for it! you can then have your “rule” be – only family kids and those in the wedding party? lol
Post # 4
@HannahGrace: if they’re in the wedding party, they’re an exception to the rule.
Post # 5
@HannahGrace: It is not faux pas! If they are in the wedding, then your guests will understand. They should also respect your decision to have no children. Not say they will, this is probably another area you’ll have to address as you get RSVPs back (read past threads on this one). It is your wedding and you have it how you like. Ours is kid-free also and I am looking forward to it. 🙂
Post # 6
Thank you all! That was our hope, that if the only two children at the wedding are in the wedding party, it would be an OK cut-off. I really don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings – but we would love to have these two kids who are special to us be part of the day if they are up for it. Just wanted to check on the etiquette question before we approached either parent with the idea. If either child (or their parents) isn’t up for it, that’s OK too, but it would be fun to have them there.
Post # 7
My mom’s good friend got married when I was about 5. Myself and the ring bearer were the only 2 kids there- he was a nephew. And from weddings I have been to- that seems to be pretty common. Wedding party or family kids allowed and sorry about the rest.
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
I think you would be fine to say “only kids who are in the wedding party” are invited. Makes total sense.
We had a small wedding (35 on the list, including us). The only kids invited were immediate family (or son and nephew). Lots of other guests had kids, many of whom we are close to, and they all completely understood our “immediate family only” policy. I think you would have a similar experience.