Yet another RSVP complaint…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@chercee:  

Um, no, not whatever. I actually don’t know you’re coming until you respond. That’s the point. Yeah, there are the people you can safely “assume” are coming, but I don’t get why it’s so hard to check a box and mail the darn thing.

I hear you, and I’m sorry some people are running on assumptions or are dragging their feet.

Post # 4
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

Well, be glad you will only have to deal with this for your wedding.  I deal with this EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. with work.  I think people just forget, or they don’t think it’s important, or I don’t know.  I don’t think people do it to be rude, I think life just gets in the way.  I’ve tried sending out invitations 6 weeks in advance, and I’ve tried sending them out 2 weeks in advance (and everything in between). It makes no difference.

The only bright side with the work RSVP headaches is that I generate an estimate for food based on the number of no responses for the kitchen, and it means there’s generally lots of good food left over for me and my coworkers. 🙂  

Post # 6
Member
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t think people realize how important it is to RSVP.

Post # 7
Member
789 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We assumed FI’s dad’s side was coming and they’re not. That would have been 8 people we assumed were coming because they haven’t sent back their rsvp cards. 8 people we would have had bought food for, would have gotten OOT bag items for. (I only know they’re not coming because it awkwardly came up at my shower)

We still haven’t heard from 1/2 of our people so I feel ya. 

Post # 8
Member
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@chercee:  agreed. we re having a post wedding party (DH andr i were privately married in May). its very stressful when the venue makes you sign a contract for x amount of people when you have no idea if that amount will even show or not! our guest list is small, and we cant really afford 30 no responses or declines. We still have time for the rsvps, but I hate being left with a big question mark on whos coming and who isnt.

Post # 10
Member
1952 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Our RSVP date was on the 10th of August (only 6 days ago) and I ended up sitting up late on Facebook double checking with everyone I’d invited. We didn’t have RSVP cards, but we did leave contact details on the invitation, so surely it couldn’t hurt to ring up and say “Oh hi I’m sort of busy right now, but me, +husband and child will be in attendance, thanks for the invite!” Is it really that hard?! I’m putting my foot down though. Anyone we haven’t heard from isn’t on the final guest list and that’s that. I’m done with RSVPs.

Post # 11
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

@chercee:  Event planner for a high level government official.  Hell, I’ve planned an event for the Queen (yes, THAT Queen) and people still didn’t RSVP, or tried to change or add guests.  It’s not just weddings, it’s society in general unfortunately.

Post # 12
Member
1640 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Rustic mill, historical site

Our deadline is September 1st, so we still have two weeks left, but so far only 29 out of over 100 have answered.    My parents and brother have not.    Two of my fh’s brothers have not, and his father has not even acknowledged the wedding announcement from forever ago, nevermind answering the RSVP.   (He lives 25 minutes away…yea)

I’m going to go the bitchy route and post a message on FB a few days before saying something along the lines of “Those of you who have not RSVP’d, the deadline is in two days.  If we dont’ get an answer, it will be considered an automatic ‘no’ “.   I refuse to chase after RSVPs, I have a zillion other things to worry about, and my fh isn’t helping much  >.<

Post # 13
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

@Purple_Bride:  When did you send your invites?

 

We were really delayed in ordering and mailing out invites. Mailed most of them on August 1st, and had our first response in the mail on August 6th.  We sent 75 invites, and have over 40 responses to date (only 1 through our website, and even they mailed the card back as well). i know many of our friends have been away for the past 2 weeks and will be returning on the weekend, so I expect a whack more next week.

 

 

 

Sometimes I think the earlier you send them, the worse it is. People aren’t sure if they can get the time off, or what their plans are, or whatever, and stick it in a drawer and forget about it. Or think they can “mail it tomorrow”, except tomorrow never comes and it sits around collecting dust. 

 

As much as I wish we’d had our poop in a group and were able to send our invites 2 months in advance, in hindsight, it’s really worked out for us.  Our guests had a 2 week window to respons, and the vast majority have responded right promptly. Every day for the past week we’ve gotten 4 replies a day. I only wish we’d get a few more regrets.lol (our venue can accomodate 100, we invited 130, but it’s a stand up reception so the numbers are more flexible than a sit down affair)

 

Post # 14
Member
490 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Our deadline is August 30 for an October 5, 2013 and I’ve got 15 RSVP cards back, out of 43 sent out.  I mean, we still have a couple of weeks, but come on…

Post # 15
Member
1640 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Rustic mill, historical site

@SeaSalt:  

I sent them out on July 28th.   Our first RSVPs came in two days later (all done online, I didn’t want to have to wait for snail mail).   No invites have come back, so I’m relatively sure everyone GOT them.

 

Post # 16
Member
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@chercee:  Apparently mailing things back is not a basic curteousy or is an understood concept anymore. Again, I’m sorry people suck.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors