(Closed) Yet another thread about dealing with people not invited to the wedding . . .

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

do you want to rebuild a friendship with them? if so, socialize them, but don’t necessarily invite them to the wedding. if they ask, just explain that you’re having a small wedding.

Post # 5
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I understand that you don’t buy the “busy” excuse. However, some people just don’t make time to hang out with others, regardless of how you do it, especially if they have children. You may not be on their A list either. So they have to juggle their lives around their closest friends and then hang out with the other ones later. It seems like this is an attempt to hang out with you and your fiance now. I’m sorry it didn’t happen sooner, but that’s just life. I wouldn’t feel obligated to invite them to the wedding. But I would make the effort to go to dinner with them (if you have time).

If they ask about the wedding, just say you have already made the guest list. And there are so many people in your life you had to narrow it down.

Post # 7
46225 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

As couples, there are always times when we have to support our partner in something we would rather not do.

If your Fiance wants to have dinner with them, plaster a smile on your face, make polite table conversation and go their home.

You have already told her that you are having a small wedding. If she  raises the subject again, (which we all know she shouldn’t be doing),  just say again that you have had to limit the guest list and are sorry that you can’t invite everyone you would like to have at the wedding. Say “I’m sure you must have had the same experience at your wedding”.

Post # 8
1124 posts
Bumble bee


I wouldn’t invite them. Would you even call her a casual acquaintance? It sounds like she just wants to be invited to the wedding.

Post # 10
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@stacycats: But you are right, if you don’t feel like having dinner with them, and your fiance is ok with that, then you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. Somtimes people just need to remain acquaintences and not try to be friends. I always get hurt by the people I think are my friends who don’t give me the time of day. I hope it all works out!

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