Post # 1
This I found out last night.
That he has not told his parents. Yup, they haven’t a clue. They’re apparently still thinking we’re tying the knot at my sisters’ riverfront home.
T is hoping they’ll be ok with it since we’re having a reception when we return. To try to smooth things over further, we’ll also try to make sure the minister or a minister from our church attends and that we have him bless our marriage, doing something similar to a vow renewal, but not the whole vow thing. Just a long blessing.
Awkward. Has any other small destination bride (and I mean small wedding..) have to figure out how to break it to the parents who are traditionalists 100 percent? Usually I’m the traditionalist 100 percent but have had to deal with the following which led me to say to heck with the church wedding, we’re going to have our wedding when we want and how we want and where we want:
- oil spill in gulf made us to decide to not have our wedding in Pensacola
- fbil said he could not at all change his schedule to adept to us having our wedding one week earlier (when I was having it at my sisters’ home) despite the inconvenience on my sister if we were to have it on our original date (right before all the kids go back to school and we’re all parents)
- storm damage at my sis’ house last week has had to make them repair their sea wall and also replace over a dozen windows..we’re talking major $$ here
Since plan a (beach wedding) and plan b (sis’ house) as venues weren’t going to work, I decided at that moment to trash all preconceptions and just do a combo destination wedding and familymoon. I told T if his parents are disappointed in this, to tell them how his brother was throwing the monkeywrench into the plans of our wedding by not being able to change their days off from work (despite fact he’s a partner at the firm).
All I have to say is uuuuuuugh. It’s the opposite of eeeeeeee in case you’re wondering! (props for eeeee given to my friend, the eeeeeee inventoress, crebre80).
Post # 3
Eep, I really hope he tells his mom soon. That’s pretty serious!
Post # 4
I told him it has to be done. Really done. Like today, since tomorrow we’re headed off to have brunch at a winery in the GA mountains WITH HIS PARENTS as a late mothers’ day gift b/c he was in CO on business all last week.
Could you see it now? Me eating brunch, her eating brunch (and we get along great) and me just slipping it out that “we’ll we’re really excited about our wedding in either the bahamas, st. john or the keys and think you’re going to have a blast at the wedding. Right now we’re learning towards x restaurant for the atlanta reception.”
I think she’d fall over.
Needless to say, I am miffed at T right now. After all his declarations of how he adores the Pam and Jim wedding (where they ran off during their wedding to actually get married on a boat over Niagara Falls on “The Office”), and how he wanted our vows to mean something to each other, he certainly was a bit cautionary last night when we were at dinner mentioning this to me.
I refused to do the wedding on the 7th to appease his bil, who was stalwart about not being able to change his dates being off, thus making my sisters’ house a no-do as i couldn’t possibly ask her to have the wedding almost a day and a half before all our children go back to school. That’d be utter chaos.
So once again, he’s going to stand up to them and if they are upset, I want him to tell them why…that it’s his BROTHER who was saying “well bro your best man, me couldn’t make it if you have the wedding the week earlier”. I got a bit miffed and said “well my family counts too, just as much, and while I love your brother, he’s not marrying you. I am. “
I think that they’ll probably do well with the news, as they do know we’ve been married before, what is really really important to his mom, is that a man of the cloth marry us. Just like that. So I guess we’ll have to pay for a minister (preferably Methodist) to marry us at our teeny weeny wedding now.
Post # 5
Wow I have no idea what to say. I hope he tells them soon. Maybe he can explain why everything has suddenly changed. I hope they understand why too.
Post # 6
Well they know why things had to change (she is a retired marine biologist and told us the potential of how bad it could become in the gulf). If they balk at the situation regarding my sisters’ house, it had better come out that we cannot please everybody..especially the best man, his brother.
Post # 7
We’re supposed to have everything figured out by sunday so we can begin planning, putting everything together and then having our familymoon plans cemented. Once that’s done, I contact several planners and get everything else going.
We’re also to decide by mid next week where the reception is and it’s narrowed down to two restaurants.
It is amazing. You can be our age, and you still feel the same way when you’re around your parents. You still feel that little kids inside of you sometimes. And T is a VP of a company…wow. I get how he feels though.
Post # 8
Wow, I’m in a similar situation. Fiance and I recently decided on a Destination Wedding too and while my parents like the idea of having a “familymoon”, we’re honestly unsure about how his parents will react. I sincerely hope things go well for you and your Fiance.
Post # 9
keep us updated. Hope the family brunch goes ok!
Post # 10
Good luck telling them; I hope they understand. As you said, you can’t please everyone!
Post # 11
Good luck! I hope Fiance tells them soon, so you aren’t in this awkward situation much longer.
Post # 12
Wow, that is totally an awkward situation to be and it sounds like you did everything possible to please everyone. It’s your wedding and sometimes you have to make an executive decision. The longer your Fiance waits the harder it will be to break the news. I’ve just recently decided on a Destination Wedding and started telling everyone as soon as I was sure. I have gotten some bad reactions, but I will handle it.
Good luck to you! Sounds like you have a beautiful wedding planned 🙂