(Closed) You are not invited to OUR resort!!!! Thats the point of us upgrading! Advice?

posted 6 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I don’t think you can tell guests where they can and can’t stay, if they’re paying for it, if you’re paying it’s another story. I doubt she’ll bother you that much, but it comes down to how bad you want her there, I guess.

Post # 4
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would just tell her that you guys are planning on being alone after the wedding, most people will assume that anyways. Unless you don’t want this person going, it doesn’t sound like there is another option…


Post # 5
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

How often do you even see the person in the hotel room next to yours?  Just let her know you’re glad she’s coming, but you hope she doesn’t spend the extra money for no reason, since you’re planning on spending most of your time in your room after the wedding “if you know what I mean.” 

Post # 6
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Just because she’ll be staying there doesn’t necessarily mean she’s going to want to be WITH you and your new husband. You’ll probably never even notice her and will still get a chance to be alone. I’m sure she understands that you’ll have just gotten married and won’t be making joint dinner reservations or anything like that. I say let her stay where she wants – the fact that she’ll be spending the extra money so she can come says something!

Post # 7
3059 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@LauraRose:  this is your friend and you’d rather her not come to your wedding than stay in the same resort as you??? if it were me, i’d say, i definitely want you to come, but Darling Husband and i are going to limit our socializing after the wedding. just to manage your expectations- we’re not going to keep the party going.

but, really, you are coming off kind of poorly here. this is your friend who is going out of her way to come to your wedding.

Post # 8
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

You don’t tell her she “can’t” stay there. There will be other people at the resort so its not completely private anyway. If anything you can hint that you two are excited to enjoy the resort privately after the wedding.

Post # 9
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@misspeanut:  agreed!

I think most people should naturally respect your desire for privacy after the wedding, I’m sure you can communicate that without dictating where she stays.

Post # 10
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think you could tell your guests that you want to be alone the day after the wedding. I’m sure she would understand and would likely be going to the suites where the other guests are anyways. I really think telling her to not come because she can only stay at the grand is really harsh. She is making an effort to come to your wedding and you should be appreciative of that, late or not.

Post # 11
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Yeah, I really don’t think she’ll try to hang out after your wedding.  It’s obviously your honeymoon?  I wouldn’t worry about it.

Post # 12
2386 posts
Buzzing bee

You can’t tell your guests where to stay. This is also a vacation for them so they should be able to stay wherever they want.

And resorts are huge so it’s not like you’ll run into them all the time. We had family members stay where we got married/honeymooned and we didn’t see them unless we planned to meet up. 

Post # 13
12893 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just because you’re staying there doesn’t mean you have the whole place to yourself.  If there aren’t rooms in the Suites, then you either have to let her stay where you are, or tell her not to come.  Honestly, she’s not going to be sharing the hotel room with you, I don’t see the big deal.  She won’t be spending every second with you after the wedding…

Post # 14
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think your attitude is a bit selfish.

You can’t tell people where they can and can’t stay. Be happy they are making the trip to celebrate with you! They are spending their money and time for you.

I get that you want some alone time but you chose to have a destination wedding. Part of that means, guests will be around.

If you’re really worried, just tell her that the day after the wedding, you and your hubby are planning some alone time.

Post # 15
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Let me get this straight…you invited people to a Destination Wedding but are trying to dictate where they spend their money on lodging?

Post # 16
4433 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

1.  I don’t think if you’re inviting people to a DESTINATION wedding, that you should tell them where their money should be spent in relation to their stay.

2.  She is your friend, and a close one at that, for you to invite her to your wedding….why would you deliberatly try to keep her from booking a room at “your” resort so she could miss your special day.

3. I don’t think her intentions are to follow you or bother you on your alone time.  If she is your friend, let her stay and tell her YOUR intentions…in black and white…she’ll get the idea.

Resort sounds lovely though, so enjoy your wedding!! 🙂

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