Weddingbee boards

WARNING - this is a vent.  I have been having problems with this person for a while now, and as much as I would LOVE to tell her these things, it would cause major problems between our families and mutual friends. So, in order to save my sanity I figured I could let off steam with a vent post!

Dear "Friend"

I know we used to be very close friends, however over the years things have changed and we have grown apart.  You lost a huge part of my trust/friendship when I over heard you in the bathroom at my wedding complaining how lame my wedding was (seriously, if you are going to bash the bride, make sure she isn't in another stall).

I know you are "super-duper excited" that DH and I are expecting our first child, but this doesn't mean we are back to being friends. Let's be honest, it's not like you contributed anything to our pregnancy.  While we are being honest, here are some other things I would like you to consider:

1) You are not my child's AUNTIE.  Stop calling yourself that. I will never ever refer to you as an Auntie to my child, so don't put a fake label on yourself.

2) You are not going to be more important in my child's life than my husband, our parents, or I am.  You don't get to make comments on facebook that "being an Auntie means you get privilleges that even the parents don't get". And don't get pissy when I delete your comments.

3) Don't give me lectures on what we are chosing for our child and how wrong it is when you have never had a child yourself.

Thanks,

Your Preggers and Pissed off Ex-Friend.

Anybody else wish they could say something to someone that has been driving them crazy?????

Don't let her anywhere near your kid!

I actually have deleted her in the past, but because we have a lot of mutual friends and our families are close, it caused a lot of problems - her family was making comments to my family, our friends were getting dragged into it (all within 24 hours of deleting her). To keep the peace, I added her as a friend again, but with a limited profile. Unfortunately it doesn't stop the comments, or e-mails, or text messages.

And I know, I could change my cell phone number, my e-mail... basically everything... but right now, it is too much hassel. Ignoring is my best option right now.

@CanadianMermaid - not yet because I have been trying to avoid drama - but I will have to bring up some things before the baby is born (like the AUNTIE name, my biggest pet peeve). I just have to figure out a way to be calm and civilized when talking to her.... and so far anytime something happens I get instantly mad, which isn't the best time to have a conversation with someone!

@aicila - I have talked to my family, and they feel the same way too, but because our families are close (fathers work together), we just figured it's better/safer to ignore her! 

I must admit, making a vent post on the bee already makes me feel better!!!

@Miss Smurf:  yes, I have an associate I can't get rid of. She is a user and all I wan to do is get rid of  her. I tell her I might stop by her house and never do and she blows up my cell phone. This so called friend offered me how house to have my wedding but I know she did it because I would owe her for a longggggggggg time. I have so many stories about her that there is not enough time in the world to write it all down. I hope she will get the clue and your ex friend too.

I'm so thrilled to be a legitimate new aunt (sister's baby), but I would never deign to say that I have rights that my sister and BIL don't have, and certainly would never give unsolicited parenting advice or question/criticize choices they have made.

She sounds toxic, but it sounds like you have some complicated issues with families and mutual friends and all. No real advice, just good luck! 

@Miss Smurf: Your friend reminds me SO much of a friend I have. Well, she's SO's friend so I sort of acquired her when we started dating. She keeps saying that she can't wait till SO and I have a baby so she can be an "auntie." Um, I have two sisters to fulfill that role, thanks! Not even my best friend of 12 years calls herself "auntie" to my 3-year-old,  I don't know why this chick thinks she's gonna get the privilege!

Also, I cannot believe she bashed your wedding AT YOUR WEDDING! Seriously, who does that?

I can imagine, if you actually said any of this to her, that ridiculous amounts of drama would ensue. That's the same reason I can't address my issues with the friend I mentioned above. Ugh. I'd say just try to keep contact and communication to a minimum with her.

I would send her that message you posted, as a letter, just like that. She needs to know shes crossing the line, then be done with her. I never used to tell people how I felt about them, and now i do. I've lost a few "friends" but if you dont miss them, they werent your true friend.

I would send this letter. It's factual and not too dramatic. =)