(Closed) “You better invite me to your wedding!”

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: "You better invite me to your wedding!" How did you let them down?
    Ignore it and hope they get the message when they do not get an invite. : (23 votes)
    37 %
    Talk to them one on one and explain guest list restraints on numbers. : (15 votes)
    24 %
    Tell her we can't invite everyone and are only inviting family and close friends. : (21 votes)
    33 %
    Something else? State below. : (3 votes)
    5 %
    Suck it up and invite her and her bf. : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    802 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Well I think it’s distasteful to not invite someone you live with..I mean she’s aroudn you planning all this, so what’s 2 more people? I feel your pain though

    Post # 4
    Member
    926 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I totally understand a tight guest list, and I know that it’s possible to live with someone without being friends with them. 

    But for real, you’ve shared a home with this chick- you’ve probably shared a bathroom with her.  If she’s not snarky to you and if she wants to support you, I think you should make an exception.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2227 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    @Kkaattii:  I disagree. You don’t have the space & you don’t care about this girl.

    I had a similar experience with a girl that tried inviting herself to my wedding(granted she was not a roommate). I told her there was no space & that was that. Feelings will be hurt but it’s not as though you have much of an alternative.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2902 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Pfft I wouldn’t invite her.

    As you said, she is an acquaintance you wont hang out with in the future and don’t even currently hang out with now.

    Invite people who actually care about you and your FI. You don’t have to invite them just because they are in close proximity.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1994 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I feel like it’s kind of rude to not invite your roommate to your wedding. I would probably just try to extend an invite if possible. Then again I sometimes try a little too hard not to offend people &  you can’t please everybody.  If you’re serious about not inviting them then explain the number restraints.  I wouldn’t say just close friends and family though. What if the roommate thinks that you guys are close friends. I can see that potentially being sort of hurtful.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2825 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Having lived with a roommate that I didn’t get a long with in college (no arguements or anything we just didn’t like eachother and rarely “hung out” even though we lived together)… I get what your saying by not wanting to invite her… But it is a sticky situation because you CURRENTLY live with her.  My question to you is, when are you moving out?  And would her not being invited to the wedding make your living situation uncomfortable and unbearable until you move out?  Is that something you could handle/put up with leading up to the wedding?  Or is it easier to just invite 2 people to the wedding?

    Post # 10
    Member
    5892 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2012

    i wouldn’t invite her either.  all these bloody courtesy invites are how the list gets out of control in the first place.  the exception, however, is immediate family in my book.  but yeah, just explain to her that you are having a smaller wedding.  it might be awkward though if the other housemates are invited.  may just be easier to invite her.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2401 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I would only invite her if I was living in the house leading right up to the wedding. If you plan on moving out a month or two before, then that’s another story.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2263 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Stand your ground. As a married bee I can tell you, explaining or dealing with plus ones is not a good idea! Let the lack of invite be the bearer of bad news to this chicky. If she approaches you about it THEN it’s best to say simply, there’s not enough room at our venue, I am sorry. And leave it at that .. :/ 

    I’m sorry there’s no way out, some people are simply rude and I think it’s incredibly inconsiderate to the coupel demanding or even ASKING for an invitation. There’s nothing wrong with not inviting someone merely because they are not close or becaue there are already a lot of people coming whom you are paying for. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    113 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I wouldn’t invite her, but I would explain to her personally and not ignore it. A (hopefully) rational conversation about your guest list constraints will win you far more understanding, and probably avoid awkward confrontation, than not saying anything at all.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I agree with some of the others that if you’re currently living with her (and right up to the wedding) it’s hard to not invite her, unless you’re seriously having like 20 people there.

    That’s really burning bridges in my book to not only not invite her, but even after she asked to say nothing to her and then not invite her. Very rude. If there’s absolutely no way you’re going to invite her I’d tell her personally, and maybe invite her to the wedding shower or something like that so she doesn’t feel completely left out. I mean, this isn’t your neighbor or something.

    Post # 16
    Member
    5892 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @Mrs.LilyLunaLove:  i got lots of “you better invite me to the wedding!” and i know this is pretty common.  agreed, definitely rude, but par for the course i’m afraid. 

    also, isn’t it funny how the people that ask this question are usually the ones that you weren’t planning on inviting?

    The topic ‘“You better invite me to your wedding!”’ is closed to new replies.

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