(Closed) You can’t afford basic essentials but are going to buy your gf a ring?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Agree that it’s not his place, and he shouldn’t say anything.  Credit card karma is a BITCH.  Some people just need to find out for themselves.

Post # 4
Member
14306 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’d say something if it was my own brother.  Assuming I care about him, and his financial well being, and my own father since he’s screwing him too by not paying on a loan that he cosigned… I’d speak right up. 

Post # 5
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I don’t think there’s really anything you can do, but I wonder if his gf knows about his financial behavior. I feel bad for her if she gets engaged without knowing the kind of irresponsibility she’s dealing with.

Post # 6
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would definitely say something, since he’s close family and these bad choices can have really bad implications on his relationship with his father and his financial future.

Post # 7
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

She seems not to care about finances and how much debt he is in. Not paying bills and loans will bite them in the a** sooner than they expect. They are living the high life without the money to pay for it… Hope they don’t have kids.

EDIT: Another poster mentioned that maybe SHE doesn’t know about the situation… I hope this is true, but she should be told so she can make informed decisions if necessary.

Post # 8
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would speak up. My siblings and I arent afraid to speak up to one another if we’re doing something stupid or wrong. The person might not listen, but at least we call them out on it.

Oh and I would tell your DH to talk to his dad and see how to get his name off of the cosigning of the car. I know there is a way, I just dont remember. But I would definately tell his dad to look into it. The longer he stays on, the more money he has to pay and the more likely chance of his credit history being tarnished!!

And from what I have read about the brother, Im guessing the father knows that he wont get a DIME back. I hope he knows that. It sounds like the brother is not responsible at ALL with money.

Post # 10
Member
5892 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

ugh, honestly, your FIL is just enabling this guy by paying his rent, etc.  HE’S the one who needs to do something.

Post # 11
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I don’t really see how it isn’t his place, like pinkshoes said, it’s his brother. This isn’t just some friend that isn’t his family or a friend who is effing over his own father.  I think he definitely should say something if he wants to, he shouldn’t NOT say anything because he feels it’s not his right to.  His father is getting screwed with the choice of either not paying because it’s not his debt, or destroying his own credit.  

Your brother in law should be made to sell that car, and then he can do whatever the hell he wants with his own credit and money.  It’s unfortunate that your FIL tried to help him, because he clearly is abusing it. I find it pretty disgusting really, and I wouldn’t be able to keep my mouth shut if I were your DH.  Hell, I am not sure I would be able to keep quiet if I were you.

Post # 14
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@lolo21:  I’m not sure I follow – it sounds like she’s responsible about money, if she’s paid off her car responsibly and works hard.  So are you saying that she does know, or that she doesn’t?

Post # 15
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@lolo21:  Well at least your FIL knows that. Thats good. But I would definately tell your FIL to get off of the cosigning contract as soon as he can.

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