you can't come to my wedding!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: If you weren't invited to her wedding,is she invited to yours?
    Yes, of course! the more the merrier, let's celebrate! : (63 votes)
    93 %
    NO! I'm not important to her so she's not important to me : (5 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    6667 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Well, Blonde’s wedding was a few years ago- the fact that Red is not over this by now is troublesome.  I think she’s being silly.

    Post # 4
    965 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I agree with PP. She sound SUPER immature. It’s not liek everyone was invited BUT her.

    If she wasn’t invited because the guest list had to be cut, then fine, we all have to make those decisions, but you don’t have to invite people just because you went to their wedding.

    Post # 5
    571 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013


    Blonde eloped…it’s not like she invited everyone else and left Red out. Red is being very stupid about this.

    Post # 6
    489 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    Wow, very odd.  There must be something else going on in their relationship for her to not be invited, that seems too strange.  Red is being very immature.

    Post # 7
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Maybe she has a ton of guests and had to put some rules in place to manage it. A lot of people do this for +1s, i.e. only married or engaged couples. Maybe she has a blanket rule and isn’t inviting anyone who didn’t invite her (even though an elopement is not really a wedding). Or perhaps the friendship is more one sided and not valued as much to her. 

    Post # 8
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I hope she’s joking! That’s pretty insane!

    Post # 9
    374 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Very strange. We weren’t invited to the best man’s wedding because it was small, family only, and on Christmas Eve. I have another friend who got married locally in September and we weren’t invited to their wedding, but they’re on our guest list. I hope they don’t see it as a gift grab, I genuinely want them there if they can make it, and either way I won’t be hurt if they don’t give us a present. I assume they had a small wedding relative to their number of family and friends, and I’m not hurt by it. My best friend from elementary school got married in September also and I wasn’t invited as we’ve only seen each other occasionally over the past decade, but I honestly can’t imagine not inviting her, so she’s on my guest list.

    Post # 10
    5697 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @secretwife:  Extremely petty, but I wouldn’t get in the middle of it. This is between them not you.

    Post # 11
    4760 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Your poll question and story are very different IMO:

    If you weren’t invited to her wedding, is she invited to yours?


    If you weren’t invited to her elopment that no one was invited to, is she invited to yours?


    Post # 12
    1988 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    My first reaction was “hmmm that can’t be the real reason, can it?” Maybe she just doesn’t consider her a good friend anymore and had to find an excuse why she didn’t make it on the guest list? But if that’s the real reason why Blonde’s not invited to Red’s wedding, that’s really petty and immature. How about you ask Red whether or not she was serious? That should help.

    My SO and I are putting together a framework guest list and we’re using “were we invited to their wedding” as a guideline – but our wedding will be quite small, probably less than 50 people, and it’s a useful tool for making the cut. I have a “frenemy” who had a destination elopement that we won’t be inviting but our decision has nothing to do with not being at their wedding.  

    Post # 13
    528 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @secretwife:  My advice, stay out of it! Red is being completely riduclous, but it’s between her and Blonde. Don’t get caught in the middle and don’t pick sides, it’s only going to make things worse for you. It’s not your problem.

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