- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
In my family, there are a lot of people who abuse alcohol. When they’re drunk, they say things that are awful, cruel, and mean. When they sober up, they’re oh-so-sorry about it, only to do it again the next time they’re hammered. I used to believe them when they said they were sorry but last night was the last straw.
I have an uncle who moved to Wisconsin to be with a woman. Since leaving Ohio, he’s averaged a visit once per year. Knowing this, when he came to town for New Year’s Eve, I went up on New Year’s Day to see him. I got to town around 3pm and went to see a few friends I hadn’t seen in awhile (one of whom is in medical school and Australia and returns to the States about every 8 months). I also stopped to visit my grandfather, who is ill with stage four bone cancer and is receiving hospice care.
I thought my uncle would be at my grandfather’s house since that was the point of his visit, but I found out that he went up to the bar that’s two blocks from my grandfather’s house. After visiting with my grandfather for an hour, I went up to the bar. I knew my mom and a couple of aunts and uncles were up there, including the one from Wisconsin.
As soon as I walked in, the uncle from Wisconsin, we’ll call him John, started cursing at me. He realized FI was not with me and starting dropping f-bombs immediately. He said some really hurtful things and I tried to defend FI’s absence (he just lost his dad and was honest with me, he didn’t want to come up and see my family and party, which is all they do). Finally I just gave up and went to the bathroom and started crying.
I know John was completely wasted (it was 7pm) but the things that were said were so hurtful. I tried so hard to blow it off but I couldn’t. When I came out of the bathroom, I ignored him. He started to apologize and tried to hug me. FI had sent me a text so I was replying to him and John about ripped the phone out of my hand because he was so mad I was ignoring him.
John kept apologizing but the damage was done. The next morning I got up and left really early, before he woke up. John’s super pissed I didn’t stick around for him to apologize more but honestly, I have nothing to say to him.
This isn’t the first time a family member has been so hateful and lashed out at me, most of the time it’s been when they were drinking. My grandmother tries to defend her kids (my aunts and uncles) by blaming it on the alcohol, but you just can’t unsay stuff. You just can’t.