(Closed) “You DEAL with it” Seriously!!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I took this directly from the Knot.

Lodging for Out-of-Town Guests

In general, out-of-town guests are expected to pay for their own lodging. It is a courtesy — and certainly not obligatory — for the bride and groom to take responsibility for finding or recommending lodging for out-of-town guests. But if yours is a large wedding and you expect the attendance of a good number of out-of-town guests, it’s a smart idea to prereserve a block of rooms in a hotel; some hotels will even offer discount room rates if a minimum number is booked in a block. Some friends may offer to put up out-of-town guests at their homes. If so, it is up to you to make the best match so that all involved are comfortable with the arrangement. Then either you or the hosts can send the out-of-town guests the name, address, and telephone number of their host and hostess and directions to their home and let them know what to expect (whether their hosts have a pet, a swimming pool, children, and the like). Make sure the hosts are clear on the guests’ arrival and departure dates and times. Remember to give a thank-you gift to those who are providing lodgi

Post # 5
Member
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Well, yes.  I mean, she was rude first, and you had every right to tell her that it wasn’t your problem, but tone and the way you say things count for a lot.  Maybe (after taking a few moments to calm down), apologize for your tone, and then try to figure out a solution together?

It also sounds like the sister and the niece are being rather presumptuous, assuming that the Mother of the groom would have space for them to stay.

 

Post # 6
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Good for you! I think what you said was fine, it needed to be said, and was  got your point across. Hopefully she’s not too butt hurt by it and she needs to remember it’s not your problem, she invited them and they are her family so she should help them figure something out. If it’s easier for you and FI to get a hotel after the wedding, then do that, it probably will save you some headaches and you might want some alone and rest time away from everyone anyway.

Post # 7
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think you were rude. And I’m a little concerned that you even spoke to your MIL that way. It’s not so out of line for her to ask you to help out with logistics, esp when she has been letting you live with her and helping with the wedding. Trust me, tensions run high in the time leading up to the wedding so you have to try extra hard to keep your cool so you don’t make enemies.

Post # 9
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@penniepie: Two wrongs don’t make a right. You were very rude to her, and should apologize. Explain to her that you need to know what sorts of things she needs help with–it could be as simple as blocking rooms, which is very easy to do.

Post # 11
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I know you don’t know these people, but its YOUR wedding…you are marrying into this family.  I’m sorry that you did not get the response from most of the Bees that you wanted.  It doesn’t always work that way.

Post # 13
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think she probably felt awkward asking you to move out of the room for the duration of the stay of the guests and thats why she just said “you deal with it”, I dont think she meant any harm

Post # 14
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Kanebaby: I don’t think just because it’s her wedding it’s her job to make sure everyone’s family is taken care of. It’s kind of unrealistic to expect her to figure out where to put these people, when she doesn’t know them, can’t talk to them directly. It really isn’t her responsibility.

 

It would have been better if MIL had just said so and so want to stay here, I need your help in figuring out where to put everyone. Then they could have come up with the solution of her and FI just getting a hotel or air mattress or whatev. 

 

I’m sure you are both very stressed out and maybe just apologizing for the tone in which everything was said might smooth everything over?

Post # 15
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Technically it is now your family too so get use to that.

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