You did WHAT?!

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I hope your FH just leaves her on her butt when her bf drains all of her money and she loses everything.  

Post # 4
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@countrylove914:  Ugh, how irritating. I would be so mad if FI’s mom was doing that, and choosing her new BFs family over her own kids. I feel for you on that one. As far as the boob job, meh, that’s her choice. If she doesn’t fit into the dress and has to buy a new one, again, her choice. She has plenty of time to figure it out. Now, if she asks you guys for money for a new dress because she doesn’t fit in the old one anymore… that’s a different story!

Post # 6
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I have no real advice except this: DO NOT- UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE- GIVE HER MONEY.

It might be one thing if she went broke and didn’t blow it or had been hanging around, but her actions are ridiculous.  She has every right to get a boob job if she can afford it, but she can’t complain about lacking money now.

If it gets to some crazy point where she says she needs money for food/bills and you feel obligated to help… Don’t give her money.  Invite her over for dinner, or drop it off.  Don’t pay for cable/internet. If you feel obligated to pay for electricity or water, only pay a portion, and pay it directly to the company.

She just seems too irresponsible.

I’ve heard so many horror stories of “free loaders” like this.  Don’t become a victim.

Post # 8
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I have a ridiculous story myself about my FMIL. I’m going to spare you from all of the details, but she has canceled on me and FI 4 times (THE DAY OF, nonetheless!) with wedding related things. One was just to get together in the beginning of our engagement to discuss things in general, another was to have dinner an discuss things further in detail, once when we were supposed to go dress shopping for me, and just about 2 weeks ago to go dress shopping for her! Yes, that’s 4 times. Each time it was the day of that she canceled. With no excuse, just that she was sorry and she wasn’t able to make it. (Side note: she too is recently single, and is dating a new guy. She’s been acting like a 16 year old lately!) 

 

My only advice is to lower your expectations of her. I thought mine were really low, but I’ve had to lower then significantly further. At this point, I don’t even know if I expect her to freaking show up to the wedding, let alone show any excitement or participate in pre-wedding experiences. That’s the the way it is, unfortunately. 

 

 

 

The worst part is its obvious that it’s crushing my FI. I don’t care what she says about me or does to me. I don’t. I’m over it. I’m over her. But it kills me when he gets let down by his mom. 

 

 

 

We’ve both had to lower our expectations at every turn. It’s sad. But it’s better to lower your expectations and not be let down, than to be continuously disappointed time and time again. 

 

 

 

Hang in there. Family is tough! At least you and FI have each other. 

 

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