Post # 1
I was just standing outside of work looking at the calendar on my phone because I had just realized that I am 3 days late for my period. No biggie, I’ve never been that regular and I’ve been incredibly stressed lately.
Anyway, a lady pulls up in front of my work to ask if we are hiring so I told her to go to the receptionist and she’ll give her an application. She got out of her car, looked at me and asked me:
“Are you pregnant?”
I told her no, and promptly walked away. It really hurt my feelings. I don’t think I even look the slightest bit pregnant. I’m a street size 8, and I’m 5’9, 135lbs. I’ve been working out to tone up for the wedding, but I don’t have a baby bump!!
You just don’t ask people that…how rude!!
Now I’m sitting at my desk stressing out about it. I feel like crying. I’ve had issues with BDD before, and this is bringing all that back up. WTF!
Post # 3
I’m sorry to hear that. I would think nowadays, people wouldn’t ask these questions out loud, but apparently they still do. I remember a few years ago and I was standing up in a weird, contorted position and jutting my abdomen out and an elderly lady asked me when I was due. 🙁
I personally don’t even ask when it looks very pregnant because we went to a party where the girl looked pregnant with a sizeable baby bump but then we found out later that she was never pregnant. DH and I are so relieved we didn’t say anything.
I always err on the side of caution and unless the couple mentions something or another source has confirmed it 100%, I never say anything.
Post # 4
If you are 5’9″ and 135 pounds I can guarantee you that you don’t look pregnant.
Maybe she’s some kind of freak who goes around getting sadistic pleasure from messing with obviously non-pregnant women?
I wouldn’t even waste anymore time thinking about it, lol.
I’m 5’7″ and no where near 135 pounds at the moment, so if you look pregnant I’m probably gonna pop out triplets any day now.
Post # 5
I never ask unless they are very obviously pregnant, and even then, I still don’t usually say something unless they bring it up themselves.
Post # 6
@MissCountryGirl727: I would never ask someone that unless I was 110% sure…and if I was 110% sure, why would I need to ask? It is none of my business if a stranger is pregnant. When my sister was newly pregnant (and not showing), I gave her a hug and just randomly asked her if she was pregnant. I don’t know why I did, and she got mad at me 😛 then she found out I was right! I just had a sense. Weird.
Post # 7
@MissCountryGirl727: I’m sorry this happened to you. I’ve had it happen to me twice, and so has at least one of my friends, and neither of us has ever been pregnant.
For me, the first time was while I was at the gym, and I asked a trainer how to use a piece of equipment, because my shoulder was hurting when I tried to use it. She said, “It’s normal to have your joints give you problems when you’re pregnant,” (or something along those lines.) I was not amused. The second time was when I ran into someone I hadn’t seen for a long time and who knew that I had gotten married. She was all excited, saying, “Look at you! Congratulations!” and began making comments about what she thought was the “fact” that I was expecting. As soon as I understood why she was looking at me and congratulating me, I had to explain that I was not pregnant. She was embarrassed, and, obviously, so was I.
These ladies were definitely not trying to be rude to me in any way. One was attempting to be helpful. The other was really excited for me. However, I don’t think either of them ever stopped to think about the fact that she could have been — and was — wrong.
I have no idea why a perfect stranger would come up to you and ask you such a question, but I would try to not to allow it to upset you. It really does say more about that person’s lack of thought and manners than it does about your figure, which I’m sure is quite lovely.
Post # 8
I can absolutely empathize. I’m 5’4 and 115 lbs, we have nearly an identical BMI. Last summer, a perfect stranger asked me if I was pregnant and if it was ok for me (a “pregnant” woman) to be at a bar.
Having a history of body image issues, I understand how extraordinarily devastating this is.
I wish I could tell you just to shrug this off, but it seems to stay with you. The best thing I can suggest is take some time later today for some R&R – a long bubble bath, a manicure, an at-home facial. Do something for yourself and for your body. It’s a beautiful thing. *hugs*
Post # 9
lol i love these, im 27yrs old 5’2 128lbs, i have somewhat of a baby belly on me, i worked at a local retail store in the baby/toddler department i had a woman come up ask me where something was for a new born being that i was expecting one in a few months and always looking for newborn outfits,and continued to rub my belly i smacked her hand off of me and said “im not pregnant i just like whoppers” and she looked so confused and said to me “you haven’t come to terms with your pregnancy yet, hear hear is a paper please choose life, not abortion” WTF…. OMG i wanted to die….not only did she think i was pregnant she though i was scheduling a abortion OMG…
Post # 10
@MissCountryGirl727: 🙁 sorry. She is a woman that goes against girl code!
Post # 11
My poor mom gets comments like this a lot. She gave birth to 4 kids (two were twins) and we did a number on her stomach. I don’t think she looks pregnant, but any weight she has tends towards her stomach.
I find it so rude. I would never say anything to anyone about being pregnant unless I knew for a fact.
I wouldn’t take it too personally. She had no manners, and I’m sure you don’t look pregnant.
Post # 12
@MissCountryGirl727: 🙁 sorry. She is a woman that goes against girl code asking that question.
Post # 13
Maybe you are pregnant? TTC? Maybe its a sign. I’ve heard of these things before. Although you certainly don’t look it, some people just know. I’ve TTC this month, without telling anyone, and my cousin said she had a dream I was pregnant. So who knows? And like the other Bees said, with your height and weight, you definitely DO NOT look pregnant! Don’t be hard on yourself, you’ve said it yourself you’ve, been stressed, that’s why you’re taking this hard! you’re BEAUTIFUL and you know it! Hugs!
Post # 14
@MissCountryGirl727: Maybe she has a sixth sense and you are pregnant?? It’s interesting that when she asked you were looking at your calendar, contemplating a late period…
I’m totally watching Long Island Medium right now, so this may be playing into my thought process… lol
Post # 15
I think the media’s portrayal of women really messes up how even women think women should look.
I’m 5’4″, 115 lbs, and my fiance’s step-mother asked if I was pregnant. Sure, my stomach isn’t 100% flat… but it’s not supposed to be! There are organs and stuff in my body! And my body naturally holds on to fat there to protect my uterus, it’s just part of being a woman! If I lose any more body fat, my periods start getting all weird and my hair gets thinner, so I definitely think I’m the right weight for my body, even if that means there’s a slight shape to my abdominal region.
Also, I love the xojane Real Bellies Project, where women sent in photos of their tummies to remind us that we’ve all got different shapes that are beautiful! http://www.xojane.com/fun/gallery/bellies-part-2
Post # 16
I was with a doc who asked a woman when she was due – and she wasn’t. It was the most awkward thing ever. So now I never, ever assume people are pregnant. It sometimes makes things awkward in the opposite situation – someone looks to be pregnant but I don’t congratulate them or ask unless they bring it up. But that’s better than asking someone who isn’t pregnant! Who does that!