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Well I have a friend that delivered her gift on the couple's one year anniversary so it does happen. I personally think its a lil bogus! Gimme my d--n present! JK (kinda)
according to etiquette--yes, you have a year!
I think a year is a little bit too late. We're three months later and I'm fairly sure we weon't be receiving any more gifts.
I think it's probably allowed, but I wouldn't recommend it!
I don't know if this is an urban legend per se but WHO wakes up 8 months after someone's wedding and says "hmm I think I'll get my friends a wedding gift today even though their wedding was 8 months ago"??? If anything, most people are excited to get you gifts and send them early. I think it's safe to assume that if you haven't received a gift from someone two months after the wedding, it's not going to happen.
My dad always uses this russian saying which losely translates to "A spoon would really go well with this soup." Meaning, everything has an appropriate time. A spoon should come out with your soup course and a gift should be given AT the celebration.
Oh my, I could not agree more. We are 10 days away from our 1 year anniversary, and I got a call from my mom last night saying that friends of theirs said they mailed us a check a week or two ago and did we get it yet. We of course moved 2 months ago so hopefully it will be forwarded. But here's the kicker, this lady told my mom that someone told her that you're supposed to contact the bride a little before her 1 year anniversary and see if there is anything she needs now, blah blah blah. I told my mom that that probably only applies if they gave a gift at the wedding. I would never go to a wedding without a gift in hand. We did get a gift 4 months after, but I figured that was it. The whole "year to give a gift" is crazy, if it is in fact "true".
Ahh, I miss the hive!
I think a lot of people say it (much like the bride has a year to send thank you's). Both I think are ridiculous!! Definitely an urban legend.
ive heard you have a year but really.... how many people wake up 8 months after the wedding and say "im off to buy ted & carol their wedding gift today"
and what about the thankyou notes.... a bride generally wants to get them done soon after the wedding so they are done but how do you thank to a couple that attended only for a free feed
edit: heheheheh Meowkers - we pretty much had the exact same thought!
I have to chime in here, because I had NEVER heard of this before weddingbee....EVER. I actually own Emily Post's etiquette book and looked this up just the other day, because I started to wonder if I just never knew of this rule.....well, it is completely NOT TRUE! I will quote directly from the book......
"Although ideally the gift is sent before the wedding there are times when that is not possible. If you send the wedding gift after the wedding, send it to the couples' new address if you have it, or to the couple in care of either set of parents. When your present is not sent until some time after the wedding, it would be a nice gesture to send a note with your gift, giving the reason for the delay. There seems to be a common misconception that wedding guests have until the couple's first wedding anniversary to send a gift. This is not the case."
I hope that this clears it up once and for all.
I always get a gift right away but I know my friends all think that the you have a year rule is true, which is annoying and does not bode well for my wedding.
Well here ya go... Sunday was our one year, we got a gift yesterday and one today... one is a gift card to where we were registered... this would have been great when we were completing our registry.. A YEAR AGO! So now 2 gifts (technically) more than a year after our wedding. And exactly, what do I do about thank yous now? It will be hard to not sound bitter in them. Haha.
Yes, you have a year!
I've done the lots of time (especially if its a marriage that seems like it won't last long). Terrible, I know, but if the bridal party is doing an "over/under" on how long the marriage will last, I'm not running out to get a present.
Not sure if it's urban legend or not, but my FI is living it. lol His co-workers got married months ago and a lot of people from their work didn't give a gift until later... They were saying that they have one year to buy gifts (including my FI). I am not sure if all of them have bought something for the couple by now, but I know my FI hasn't, and I don't think it's on his mind, either. lol
I heard of one woman not sending a gift until the 1 year anniversary. She was doing it to make sure the couple's marriage lasted the year.
Thank you Emily Post!
@irwedd that is horrible for someone to wait a year "to be sure it lasts" How mean! Did she tell the couple she was doing that for that reason?!
I've never heard of that, but I think it's a little bogus. A year?! It's so easy nowadays to go online and get something from the registry. I always thought you were supposed to get it before going to the wedding.
People say it, but I think it's terrible! "Hi, thanks for inviting me to your dinner party; I'll be sure to give you a bottle of wine next year." WTH?
FI thought he had a year for a few of his friends' weddings; I disabused him of the notion. ;) I don't need their wives hating me!
eek! I'm one of those people who is sending out delayed gifts (went to 3 weddings this summer, all out of town where I had to pay for the hotel, and money is tight b/c we're saving for our own wedding) so I am sending them out this week - it's not a year later but it is a couple of months...hope the wives won't hate me!
It's an etiquette fact. It has nothing to do with myths or urban legends which are not related to etiquette at all. Gifts are not even required in the first place, and it is not not a breach of etiquette to not give one. If you do give a gift, it's based on what you can afford first and foremost.
Contrary to popular belief, etiquette does not change because it is how you prevent social awkwardness. However, the newer etiquette books that are published are in direct opposition of what was around 50 or even 10 yrs ago. The contrast of Peggy and Emily Post is an excellent example. For awhile, Peggy Post was publishing her work under her deceased mother's name, in hopes no one would notice they were completely different. Now she uses her own name and the fact that is related to Emily gives people the idea that she is correct based on how she was raised. Her information though is incorrect and goes along with what countless people today believe that etiquette can be changed to fit whatever you want, no matter who it offends in the process.
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Fi brought this up in regard to a wedding that we are attending soon. I asked him if he'd picked up the gift we agreed on and he said he would get it later this year because 'you have a year to send the gift.' It occurred to me that I have heard this stated as a 'fact' before, but I think it might be an etiquette myth. If the couple doesn't get a gift within a month or two of the wedding, my guess is they will assume you're not getting them anything.