Weddingbee boards

But has been engaged for a significant amount of time?

I'm a five year old and get mopey and jealous.

Gah, this couple I know met in April of last year and were married by October. I have been with my boyfriend for 4.5 years so I was feeling pretty bitter and b*tchy. It didn't help that I am not fond of the women either lol. Bf got the stink eye for like a month.

I totally feel your pain!  This was the story of my life.  We were together 5.5 years before DH proposed. In that time we introduced couples who met, got engaged and married before we were ever even engaged ! Talk about traumatic.

I too cried, had moments of rage and then finally - a sense of peace came over me (that I desperately needed).  It was like I envoked MrBee's plan without even knowing it...

Hang in there. I know it's hard but when it happens, it will all seem so right.  I promise.

@fuschiasparkles: That's EXACTLY what I was going to suggest!

@accorn: Seriously! Of my college friends, of his childhood friends (some of the wives of these guys call me "the matriarch"!), of our local friends, we were the first to get together.  And, after 11 years, of nearly ALL of these (save three guys), we're the LAST to get engaged & be married.  BUT, on the bright side...ALL of my college friends are coming to the wedding, ALL of his childhood friends are coming, ALL of our local friends are coming to OUR wedding.  No prior events, no "oh, but we're saving for our wedding", no "we're still in school, so we don't have the money right now" excuses! So, it's TRUE, your engagement & subsequent wedding (to take @fuschiasparkles' words) WILL be epic & all the people who were engaged & married first will be SO excited to finally celebrate with you!

Hrmm... I am one of those girls who got engaged after being with her boyfriend for a year.  My ex "friend" who had been dating her BF for 2.5 years at the time promptly stopped being my friend because she was so upset that I got engaged before her.  I'm not kidding.  I wish I could say there were other contributing factors but she literally told people that she was so upset about my engagement that she couldn't stand being in a room with me anymore.  What a big selfish baby huh? (Not saying any of you did that or would do that)

For the record, I think it's absolutely fine to pout like a five year old about the whole thing.  :)

Ouf, Miss Root, I would never lose a friendship just because they got engaged before me- that's silly.  

Bonfire- I think we are planning on buying a house while we are engaged, or at the very least I am- I've been saving forever for it and that money is burning a hole in my pocket!  Haha. 

I got asked today if I was engaged, actually it was more of an "Aren't you engaged yet" type of question.  Fun stuff.

At first it would bother me, and I would throw some jabs at him (in private), and then I realized that I didn't want to push him.  Many couples we know took even longer than we did, and we had a lot going on in our lives too, so I would remind myself to calm down and think about how it would happen some day after all the craziness (grad school, relocating, etc.).  Hang in there, and remember that good things to come to those who wait.

Don't think of it as them moving faster then you or you being "late" or "behind," maybe think of it of having a very well aged, deep relationship. Just think- you'll know more and be far more sure of your relationship with your boyfriend/FI when you get married then those girls are who meet and marry in a year. You two have taken the time to really get to know each other, to see both the perfection and the flaws and love because of them. Sure you can do that after marriage, but isn't it nice knowing what you know going into your marriage, rather then later? Just trying to put a happy spin on it! :)

Also, waaaaay back when I was just out on my own after moving back to the US (I was 19), I had a roommate who met a girl and proposed within a month. They were married within less then a year. That marriage? Lasted two years. My sister starting dating her ex-husband and married a month later (holy cripes!). That marriage? Lasted a little over 2.5 years. I can give you quite a few other examples of people I know who rushed into marriage and it failed. I'm not saying ALL quick meet and marry marriages will fail, but in my experience its been those who've been together a long time who (so far) seem to make it.

@Danadelphia:What you are saying is true.  And I don't think any poster in this thread would disagree.  But what I think you are failing to understand is that those of us who get sad or mopey when this happens are not competing with our friends to see who can marry first/fastest.  Rather, it is an emotional reminder that BF is not ready to commit to you...and in my case, I was SO ready - for YEARS!!!

For me, it was much more a reminder that others were doing what I was so desperately ready for.  Meanwhile, I was waiting on my DH to become "ready".  It was never a contest or a comparison.  It was a hurt feeling that was evoked and caused me to question my own relationship (why didn't the Mr. want to marry me? would he ever want to marry me? why didn't we want the same things - and if we didn't, should we even be together?) and myself. 

I sincerely celebrated all of our friends' weddings/engagements that happened during the 7 years we were together before our big day.  I was genuinely happy for them.  I didn't view them as competitors...but rather as good friends and great couples. I did enjoy my relationship for all those years....I was just ready to move toward our life together!  I felt stuck in a rut...I wanted to make plans and move on with the love of my life! 

Before I met the one, my FI, I was in a 2 1/2 year relationship and all I got was a promise ring (which I ponded off for like $40 bucks just recently ha!). It was a troublesome relationship we fought all the time and there were a lot of jelousy issues. We finally parted ways and lost contact for good.

About five years later I met "the one" my FI and we only dated for 8 months and we got engaged. I guess it was just meant to be that way.

Don't settle for anything less us women have a ticking clock... Um ultimatum time?

I totally understand..

I also feel horrible but when I see a new person on the waiting board get engaged.. I'm so excited for them.. but I'm also so jealous because I'm still waiting and I have no idea when its coming and its driving me NUTS!!! I'm still trying to keep my positive attitude about it all but there are times when I start to well up and want to cry because I am so frustrated!