(Closed) “You may kiss the bride” – Um, what if *I* want to kiss *him*?

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Do you find "You may kiss the bride" offensive?
    No. You're being sensitive. : (22 votes)
    59 %
    I didn't until right now, and now that I'm thinking about it, it bugs me. : (7 votes)
    19 %
    It's always bugged me, but we did/will use it in our ceremony. : (1 votes)
    3 %
    It irritates the heck out of me and we did/will change it for our ceremony. : (7 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 3
    2562 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We are using a phrase somewhat like “You may celebrate the beginning of your marriage with a kiss”

    Post # 4
    8353 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2011

    You could have your officiant say “You may kiss your spouse”. or something similar, if this really bothers you.

    Personally, I want to hear that part of the ceremony. It is the “promise to obey” part that I have made sure is not going to be part of our vows.

    Post # 5
    1385 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I don’t know that anyone would really notice the difference in what’s said as long as ya’ll kiss! Really that’s what everyone’s looking for! So have fun and do it your way! :o) I love the idea!

    Post # 6
    6010 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    It didn’t bug me before, but I think our priest said something like, “You may now kiss and seal the deal!”  It wasn’t the traditional wording, and I was ok with that.  🙂

    Post # 7
    532 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I understand why you would find this saying offensive. You could have you officiant say “You may kiss the bride” to your husband and then turn to you and say “you may kiss the groom” or vice versa.

    Post # 8
    465 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    It doesn’t bother me, but I can see why it might be offensive or annoying to others. I think you can change it to more accurately reflect you and your relationship!

    Post # 10
    531 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I think its just tradition. I suppose you could change it if you want to but with all the personal changes people are making to vows that seems to be the only thing that still remains.


    Post # 11
    2289 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I don’t think too many people notice because it’s such an ingrained part of the wedding psyche, like thowing rice, or tossing a bouquet. When you stop to think about it, then it can become offensive.

    I personally don’t find it offensive as much as waaaaaaay outdated. Way back when the phrase was “useful”, I’d be taking my husbands’ last name and we’d have sex for the first time that night. But the times they have a’changed.

    Our phrase will be something like “You may seal your union with a kiss”.

    Post # 12
    507 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    It bugs me too. We’re changing it to something like “You may now kiss for the first time as a married couple”.

    Post # 13
    6598 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Many weddings I have been too have changed it – I still like it but you could do something less traditional like “Now you can seal the deal with a kiss!” Etc.

    Post # 14
    45 posts

    I think that we as woman pick apart little things like this too much. Equality is important, but sometimes I think feminists take it too far( im NOT saying youre a feminist!). I dont think theres anything wrong with men being looked at as the care taker and opening doors, and paying for dinners. I think all of the focusing on trying to achieve exact equality is taking away from men being chivalrous. I kind of think we need to stop nitpicking things. Its a tradition and an old phrase I have no problem with.

    Post # 16
    10218 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I think I like you may seal your union with a kiss or something like that??? But I want to hear you may now kiss your wife 😀

    The topic ‘“You may kiss the bride” – Um, what if *I* want to kiss *him*?’ is closed to new replies.

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