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Ah great point!
Where did all these traditional lines come from anyway... did someone make them up a hundred years ago or something?
Maybe back in the day it was because women actually saved themselves for their weddings. So it indicated that he would not be defiling her honor to kiss her. But now? Well, I didn't propose did I? I think some traditions are just traditions, and not a social reflection. Otherwise there would be bras involved in the Unity candle traditions!!
I love tradition, so that's the line we will be using. :)
My pastor always says "You may now kiss your husband" - so apparently he wondered this as some point as well. Change it if you want to - the guests ALWAYS gets a kick out of it at his weddings!
I guess I never thought of it as anything more than a tradition? We'll definitely be using it.
All I know is that I can't wait until that exact moment. =)
Hmmm... I think i like "you may now kiss your wife" instead of "bride". Also, on that note, i also like "Husband and wife" and not "man and wife".
I have been mulling over the same thing... wondering how to change it. I should look at some more examples of different things to say, like "seal it with a kiss" but that doesn't feel right... I think gji7 has a good suggestion, and I know people would get a kick out of it! I'll have to see what DF thinks.
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I agree! The phrasing of that has always seemed a little awkward to me! I also dislike the word "obey" in the vows. That's definitely coming out!
I like the idea of "You may kiss your husband," but I don't know how much the Catholic church where I'm getting married will allow us to customize. :(
We discussed having the officiant say, "You may now kiss" and leave out the gender identifiers. The important part is that we get to kiss, not who is initiating!
On the sexist/feminist note, I also dislike the couple being introduced (and referred to at other times) as "Mr. & Mrs. Michael Smith," etc. Does that bug anyone else?
My mom's church has always sent her mail addressed to "Mrs. Jeffrey LastName," and she hates it. She's like, "I'm not Mrs. Jeffrey LastName, I'm Mrs. Jenny LastName!" She's very proud to be married to my father, of course, but she wants to be referred to by her own first name. I feel the same way. I suppose I would rather we just be introduced as "Mr. & Mrs. Smith," or "Michael and Kate Smith."
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I'm still totally keeping the line, because like -- said, I've been waiting for that moment for a long time! but I just thought it was interesting. I think it would be funny if we had both said, you may now kiss the bride, and you may now kiss your husband! then we get to kiss TWICE! :)
I also don't know how I feel about the whole Mrs. hisfirst hislast. It's an interesting thing esepecially because his mother did not change her name (and I do plan to change mine) so his entire life he's been used to her being Mrs Sally HerMaidenName.
Amy - "You may now kiss your wife" is cute!
I personally like the tradition, it makes it feel real to me. If I changed it, it just wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be that moment and those words I've been waiting to hear for so long!
But that's just me!
I'm not sure either, but I love the way it sounds, so I guess we'll keep with tradition.
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Everytime my FI and I got to a wedding we wait to hear "I now prononuce you man and wife (hysterically sexist!)" and "you may kiss the bride". I think that the origins are insulting but anymore it's so second nature that it's silly and almost sentimentally sweet!! I think we might use the lines just to be ironic and get a good giggle out of them at our own ceremony -- plus I know my FI doesn't think of me as his personal property...at least that's what he says to my face ;)
I thought about that, too. We discussed the whole "You may kiss", but decided we will be going with tradition. The one line that keeps sticking with me is "Who gives this woman to this man?" I do NOT like that line of tradtion, but what else can we say when my dad walks me down the aisle?
I have heard "You may now kiss." as others have mentioned. Another option I've seen is for the officient to announce to the guests "Announcing Mr. and Mrs. LastName", and that's the cue for the couple to kiss.
I was also at a friend's wedding where the pastor FORGOT the kiss line, and due to all the excitement so did the bride and groom, until someone in the pews yelled "Aren't you gonna kiss?!" and they did. lol.
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At my friends' wedding a couple of weeks ago, they were announced as, "Mr and Mrs Jane and John Smith". I liked that they included her name, but for me it wouldn't really work since I'm not changing my name.
Can they announce us as, "Doctorfirstname and Hisfirstname, now united in marriage"? Or something like that? Or would that seem too odd?
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16px"><table border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" width="600"><tbody><tr><td><div align="center"> <table border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" width="570"><tbody><tr><td><p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Did you ever wonder where the custom of kissing the bride immediately following the wedding ceremony comes from?
Well, it is believed that it comes from the Western world, but it has reached the four corners of the earth .
The kiss between the bride and groom is believed to have originated in ancient Rome.
According to "A Treasury Of American Superstition", a suspicious husband in Rome pressed his lips on his wife’s to find out if she had been drinking wine! In time, this simple act led to the betrothal or marriage kiss, to show good faith between lovers. At most weddings, the "free for all" kissing of the bride takes place right after the wedding ceremony, but there have been interesting variations of bride-kissing.
In Scotland, the pastor had to be the first to kiss the bride. It is believed that her happiness depended on it. Another custom was, when the husband kissed the wife she had to cry. If she didn’t, her married life would be full of tears. Yet another custom was, the bride had to kiss all the men present. Another explanation for "You may now kiss the bride" is that the kiss has been very significant in many cultures.
It has been believed that the couple exchanges spirits with their breath, and that part of each partner’s soul leaves to abide in the other. Today, however, the groom’s kiss is a part of the ceremony. It is a symbolic gesture to seal the sacred matrimonial vows just exchanged. So now, when your new partner kisses you, you know the meaning behind the kiss. You may even want to cry.</font><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2"><p align="left"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2"></font><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2"><p align="center"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Copyright © 2001 Kitty Ariza, All Rights Reserved</font><p align="center"> <p align="center">I found this from www.a-weddingday.com <div style="text-align: -webkit-center">
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That line doesn't actually occur in a catholic wedding, but our priest was fine with a ceremonial kiss. Just as we were about to walk up the aisle at the end of the ceremony, we hesitated (cause we hadn't kissed yet!), the deacon nudged the priest, and he remembered and said, oh oh yes, of course!, and just waved at us. :) We knew what he eant! So we kissed, and then everyone laughed, and it made for a great picture.
So I guess what I am trying to say is we didn't have the "line" but got the kiss anyway. And I am fine with that!
I went to a friend's wedding recently and the pastor said something like "you may now seal your commitment with a kiss." I kinda liked it, but haven't decided what we'll actually do yet!
I agree with what others have said, the whole "Mr. & Mrs. John Doe" thing has always bugged me along with the "man & wife" phrase.
@ Miss Isthmus: please let me know if you come across any cute phrase that can be said in the place of "who gives this woman to this man" I also don't like that at all. I love my parents tremendously but don't like the idea of being "given"
I wrote our ceremony and changed it to "You may begin your married life with a kiss." (Smooch smooch)
<span style="font-size: 12pt; color: black; font-family: Arial">Our Rev. is saying "Who brings this woman to marry this man?" instead of "who gives" I think this is a better way to put it. Just my oppinion!
All these ideas are fabulous ... anyone want to wrote our ceremony for me? .... umm just kidding! :)
Thakns for all the helpful ideas, ladies!
i guess i just never jumped on the feminist bandwagon, but none of those things have ever bothered me. i have always been excited to get a letter that said "mrs. husband lastname" and i've been waiting a long time to hear the words "you may now kiss the bride." i know that these things don't make me any less of a woman or individual, and i've always been a big fan of tradition. i suppose i'm just old school!
I am a traditional type of girl so he'll be asked to smooch away!
I never even thought of that point before..interesting though!
I have no problem with "you may now kiss the bride." We'll probably use it, but I agree that the "man and wife" line is so incredibly sexist.
@ Doctorgirl: I'm not sure how we will be announced either. We are both doctors (he is a PhD and I'm a MD) and I am not taking his name.
To me it's just tradition. I don't think any of our guests are going to think twice about 'man and wife' or 'you may now kiss the bride' it's just how it goes. I suppose if it bugs you though, it's not a huge deal to change it.
AnnieAAA & Miss Isthmus- I dont like that wording, either, I mean I'm almost thirty and have lived outside the house since I was 18!
We are doing a presentation of the the bride where the pastor will ask, "Who presents this woman to be joined in holy matrimony to this man?"
My Dad's answer will be, "Her mother and I"
I was in my friend's wedding in June, and the pastor said, "Crimson, you may now kiss your husband." Before that, I had never even though of saying it that way; it was kind of funny during the ceremony b/c I don't think anyone was expecting it.
Me personally, I will use the traditional line, but if that's what you want to say, it's your wedding, do what you want!
Oh, and you might want to make sure it's ok with your future hubby too :)
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How do you feel about the line "you may now kiss the bride" ?
Do you think it's sexist? Do you think it's traditional? Why can't I kiss the groom???
Just curious as I started writing out ceremony and I thought to myself, oh I know how it ends! And I typed that and thought, hey, what if I want to kiss HIM!? I personally am still going to keep that line because I love the tradition of it -- what about you?