Post # 1
How do you feel about the line "you may now kiss the bride" ?
Do you think it’s sexist? Do you think it’s traditional? Why can’t I kiss the groom???
Just curious as I started writing out ceremony and I thought to myself, oh I know how it ends! And I typed that and thought, hey, what if I want to kiss HIM!? I personally am still going to keep that line because I love the tradition of it — what about you?
Post # 3
Ah great point!
Where did all these traditional lines come from anyway… did someone make them up a hundred years ago or something?
Post # 4
Maybe back in the day it was because women actually saved themselves for their weddings. So it indicated that he would not be defiling her honor to kiss her. But now? Well, I didn’t propose did I? I think some traditions are just traditions, and not a social reflection. Otherwise there would be bras involved in the Unity candle traditions!!
Post # 5
I love tradition, so that’s the line we will be using. 🙂
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor
I’m not sure what we’re going to do, but we’ll probably keep the line. 🙂
Post # 7
My pastor always says "You may now kiss your husband" – so apparently he wondered this as some point as well. Change it if you want to – the guests ALWAYS gets a kick out of it at his weddings!
Post # 8
I guess I never thought of it as anything more than a tradition? We’ll definitely be using it.
All I know is that I can’t wait until that exact moment. =)
Post # 9
Hmmm… I think i like "you may now kiss your wife" instead of "bride". Also, on that note, i also like "Husband and wife" and not "man and wife".
Post # 10
I have been mulling over the same thing… wondering how to change it. I should look at some more examples of different things to say, like "seal it with a kiss" but that doesn’t feel right… I think gji7 has a good suggestion, and I know people would get a kick out of it! I’ll have to see what DF thinks.
Post # 11
I agree! The phrasing of that has always seemed a little awkward to me! I also dislike the word "obey" in the vows. That’s definitely coming out!
I like the idea of "You may kiss your husband," but I don’t know how much the Catholic church where I’m getting married will allow us to customize. 🙁
Post # 12
We discussed having the officiant say, "You may now kiss" and leave out the gender identifiers. The important part is that we get to kiss, not who is initiating!
Post # 13
On the sexist/feminist note, I also dislike the couple being introduced (and referred to at other times) as "Mr. & Mrs. Michael Smith," etc. Does that bug anyone else?
My mom’s church has always sent her mail addressed to "Mrs. Jeffrey LastName," and she hates it. She’s like, "I’m not Mrs. Jeffrey LastName, I’m Mrs. Jenny LastName!" She’s very proud to be married to my father, of course, but she wants to be referred to by her own first name. I feel the same way. I suppose I would rather we just be introduced as "Mr. & Mrs. Smith," or "Michael and Kate Smith."
Post # 14
I’m still totally keeping the line, because like — said, I’ve been waiting for that moment for a long time! but I just thought it was interesting. I think it would be funny if we had both said, you may now kiss the bride, and you may now kiss your husband! then we get to kiss TWICE! 🙂
I also don’t know how I feel about the whole Mrs. hisfirst hislast. It’s an interesting thing esepecially because his mother did not change her name (and I do plan to change mine) so his entire life he’s been used to her being Mrs Sally HerMaidenName.
Post # 15
Amy – "You may now kiss your wife" is cute!
I personally like the tradition, it makes it feel real to me. If I changed it, it just wouldn’t be right. It wouldn’t be that moment and those words I’ve been waiting to hear for so long!
But that’s just me!
Post # 16
I’m not sure either, but I love the way it sounds, so I guess we’ll keep with tradition.