Post # 1
So I have a question about RSVP flexibility and how people feel about them if
say you and your boyfriend or husband or fiance was invited to a wedding
you both RSVP yes to go to said wedding
but at last minute something happens where he/she cannot go
you bring someone else to the wedding as to not leave an empty seat/spot like a friend of yours in which the bride and groom have never met or know
in the end, it cost them the same
however, does it matter if its a smaller vs larger wedding
say this happened after the RSVP deadline and deposits were already placed and a headcount has already been given to the caterer/restaurant in question
Post # 3
I would never do this. The invitation was for myself and my fiance, not for myself and any old person I can find to go with me. Invitations are non-transferable.
Post # 4
If DH & I were both invited to a wedding by name, and something came up that one of us couldn’t make it, then I would do my best to notify the couple as soon as possible so they can alter their final catering numbers. I wouldn’t bring a ‘stand-in’ or whatever.
Post # 5
I would only do this if I asked the B&G, and I would probably only replace that person with someone who KNEW the B&G. I think its in really poor taste to show up to anyone’s wedding with an uninvited guest.
Also most places only require a final head count up to a week in advance, so there’s usually plenty of time for them to change their head count.
Post # 6
No way – I would never do this. I would rather have the money wasted than one of my guests bring a random person with them.
Post # 7
@MoonlitMagnolia: I can understand the feelings for a small wedding with not a lot of people and everyone is family etc
however, isnt it rude to leave an empty seat and the bride and groom will have to pay for a meal that wasn’t served/eaten etc?
what would you do in this case? would you arrange to give them the money that they would have lost?
Post # 8
I’ve been in that situation as a guest this past summer. My FI couldn’t go (had to work) and we gave the bride 1 week’s notice that it would just be me attending. She said she had some other people she wanted to invite so she asked someone else to take my FI’s spot. I think this is a much better option than the guest bringing a random friend. I think it’s best to call the bride/groom and ask them what they prefer. Some people will be ok with bringing a random friend, some people won’t.
Post # 9
I guess what would make Bride and Groom more angry
No shows? or Stand Ins to replace what would have been a no show?
Post # 10
@elliptical2013: I would ask the bride and/or groom what they wanted me to do. If it’s the day before and it’s a big wedding- yeah, I might bring someone so they don’t waste the meal they’ve already had to pay for. But if it’s a small, intimate wedding they probably don’t want me bringing some random.
Post # 11
Talk to the bride! Tell her what the issue is. She may say “heck, bring whoever you would like!” or she may say “Oh, that is too bad. I could actually use that last-minute space for someone..”
It’s happening to me right now, and I am using up all of that last-minute spaces for bosses and co-workers that I wish I could have invited to begin with!
Post # 12
I would let the bride and groom know that DH can’t attend and see what they say. If they offer for me to bring someone else, I would consider it, but unless I didn’t know anyone attending except the bride and groom, I would likely attend by myself.
Post # 13
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
Depending on the person who invited me I might ask them. If I wasn’t going to know anyone else at the wedding or very few people I might bring a friend. If I was going to know a lot of other people there anyway, then I probably would not.
We did this kind of for a close friends wedding, she invited my parents and brother. At the last minute my brother could not make it and we brought my cousin – though to be fair my cousin knows my friend probably better than my brother. My friend was fine with it and was actually happy to have my cousin there given the circumstances.
For my wedding personally, I would hope not to many people would do this but if they RSVP’d 2 people and 2 people show up on the day…I probably won’t care if they made a last minute subsitution. I would be much more upset by someone brining someone when they did NOT RSVP for that many people.
Post # 14
I would notify the B or G before bringing a substitute guest. The B or G may have someone else in mind they can now invite last minute that otherwise they couldn’t accomodate because you and your SO were invited/ RSVP’d. I would give them the opportunity to fill the seat first.
Post # 15
It depends on the invite.
If the invite was to you and SO, then you show up alone.
If the invite to you and GUEST, then you can technically bring whoever you want.
But if your SO can’t make it after the RSVP deadline, you should really call the host and let them know. They might have a someone on their B-list dying to be able to attend!
Post # 16
@elliptical2013: I would just let the bride and groom know as soon as possible. I would go alone, unless they suggested otherwise. If I was having a large wedding, and someone’s husband couldn’t come at the last minute, it would be fine with me if the friend brought her sister or something. This would only really apply in a large wedding, for me, though. People curate guest lists for small weddings very carefully, and I wouldn’t mess with that.