Post # 1
So, Bees, tell me if I’m crazy. Right now FH and I are thinking of 7 Bridesmaid or Best Man (including Maid/Matron of Honor and JBM) and 8 Groomsmen (including his BM).
This is largely because we have huge families. He has 3 brothers, and I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers.
We were originally thinking his 3 brothers and 3 closest friends, and my 3 sisters and 3 closest friends, but it doesn’t feel right to leave out 2 of the 8 siblings. So that leaves me with 6 and brings him to 8. Since he doesn’t have any sisters, but his younger brother has a girlfriend of the last 6 years, I think I should ask her as well, bringing it to 7 Bridesmaid or Best Man and 8 Groomsmen.
So far, I’ve officially asked my Maid/Matron of Honor, who has been my best friend since 7th grade, and my youngest sister (she’s 11 and wanted to know if I’d still be her sister after I get married). I’m just checking for insight before I officially ask the other 5.
I’m thinking since his youngest brother is 13 and so is mine, with the recessional, my youngest sister can link arms with them both.
My mom thinks it’s too big, but his mom thinks it’s just right. If we didn’t have all these siblings, we’d def have a smaller Bridal Party, but I can’t imagine not having my sisters, law school roommate, bestie, and someday-SIL. For the record our wedding is about 200 people.
AM I CRAZY? 😉
Post # 3
@Salted_Caramel: I wanted a HUGE bridal party-I just don’t have that many friends 🙁
Post # 4
@Salted_Caramel: Sane or crazy, it’s what you’re doing, right? All totalled, without ringbearers and flowergirls, that’s 17 people in your bridal party….they don’t make a car that can carry that many people at the same time…only limosines and double decker buses if you want their dates along….I think doing what makes you happy is a priority, just take a minute to look at the logistics of all of it before you commit…either way, it’s all good.
Post # 5
@lawbride88: Same here.. I wouldn’t have minded having 5 at the most, which to me is considered a good size, but I didn’t have that many people close enough to me to have that.
However, I wouldn’t do something crazy and have as much as the OP wants
Post # 6
We each have 5 and your numbers aren’t that much more than that. When I opened this I thought it was going to be like 14 or something.
Post # 7
Do what makes you happy! I wanted a small bridal party (2 BMs 2 GMs) and that made me happy. My cousin is having 8 BMs and 2 MoHs, and her Fiance is having 9 GMs and 1 BestM. I couldn’t imagine having THAT many people, but it is what was right for her.
Crazy or not, you need to do what makes you happy. Yes, it might be stressful finding dresses for everyone, or making sure everyone is coordinated with everything, but if these are people you truly want standing with you on your wedding day, I feel like the time and effort (and stress) is going to be worth it. Otherwise, you might feel like someone important to you was excluded from your big day!
Post # 8
@Salted_Caramel: If that’s what you want, I say go for it (esp. if they’re all lovely, supportive people).
My family has attended some weddings where the bride and groom each had 15+ BMs and GMs (32+ people in the entire bridal party). Now those were insanely huge bridal parties.
Post # 9
It’s your day to do whatever you want! We had 8 bridesmaids, 8 groomsmen, 4 flower girls, and a ringbearer. In all, a bridal party of 23. No regrets!
Post # 10
Just keep in mind that all those attendants require a significant amount of your budget. Each person needs flowers and a gift, and then you will be inviting them and their spouse/so/fi to the rehearsal dinner. Just your proposed wedding party is 30ish people on its own.
It is fine to have that many if you want them, but they need to be an immediate entry in your budget for those flowers, gift, and dinners.
Post # 11
At the end of the day, it is your wedding! Do what makes you and Fiance happy! We have 10 gm and 9 bms, and everyone comments: “Are you crazy?!”, but I would rather have our family and friends stand with us rather than regret not having certain people in it later on in life 🙂
Post # 12
@lawbride88: If it was only friends I’d only have 3! Our families just really know how to have kids!
@Nona99: Luckily for logistics at least, we have no littles among our families or close friends. We’re both the oldest children in our families and the first of our friends to get hitched. FH and I joke about renting a flower girl for an hour and a half! As for transportation, we’re tossing around the idea of doing a trolley or 2 limos and a Rolls, depending on what sort of deal we can get We may even put the youngest with their parents to get to the reception depending on the limo policies on alcohol and minors.
@Rubbs: Numbers-wise 4-5 each would have been ideal, but siblings definitely beefed up our numbers hahah
@luluvohn: That’s true… and 2 GMs are 13 and my JBM is 11, so we’re at 6 each for adult attendants.
@GamersBride: Thanks for the support–it’s a good way to look at it. My Maid/Matron of Honor is so supportive and has already offered to help coordinating dresses. We’re going to take the JBM and just the three of us go and all try on to get an idea of what could work, then take measurements of everyone and have them go to try on the dress at their respective salons to make sure they’re in agreement.
@MlleFabuleux: I don’t even know that I could find 16 people to say yes to being a bridesmaid even counting cousins! That’s a LOT of people!
@Miss PumpkinPenguin: That’s awesome! I’m relieved to hear it’s doable.
@hermom: That’s definitely a factor we’ve considered! Luckily many of our attendants who are in relationships are dating a BM/GM or are our younger siblings, who wouldn’t bring a non-SO to our wedding (many of my single BMs feel the same), although of course they’d still get the option. The under 16 siblings don’t get guests because that’s just silly. Since the siblings would already go to the Rehearsal Dinner, it isn’t that many more. I’ve already gotten my gifts for my sisters (thank you tax return!), so that helps lessen the financial blow!
@BoomBoom: That’s how I feel! I’m glad to find other larger-than-average bridal party brides! Good luck managing them all–you’ll have to update me on how it goes. Have you chosen dresses and all the other details yet?
Post # 13
I think you really need a wedding of at least 150 people for that many in the bridal party. Otherwise you have too high of a proportion of your guests standing up!!
Post # 14
@RunnerBride13: we’re having about 200, so hopefully we’re good in that regard!
Post # 15
@Salted_Caramel: I know what you mean about managing all of them! Luckily for us, we are older and they are basically all married and mature, so that works out in our favour for sure! My girls all chose their own style of dress, and I chose the colour, lenght and fabric. I thought that was a good compromise, and that way all the girls would feel comfortable in what they picked for themselves. The groomsmen are all going to wear their own black suits, and we are getting their shirts and ties made at our local tailor as our gifts to them. I got my girls bracelets and necklaces for the wedding, and I plan on adding some flashy sandals for them to wear at the reception.
The way I see it, it will all work out if it’s what you want. It is a lot to coordinate, etc, but by the end of it all, I am sure you will be comfortable with your decision 🙂
Good luck and happy planning!
Post # 16
Wow thats big. But if you like it, go for it.
However if you change your mind, before you guys make the final decison, consider doing 2 BM’s for you and 2 Groomsmen for your guy(does not include your Maid/Matron of Honor and his BM). Anyway, put all the girls names in a bag and pick out 2, then do the same for the guys. A fair way to pick your 2! 🙂 ( Remember you dont need all your siblings in the wedding party, what if you each had 10 siblings.)
If you do keep all of them, I do agree with another poster that you will need 2 vehicles for your whole party.