Post # 1
I’m so excited! I went out hiking with a friend on Saturday afternoon and she asked me if I would be one of her bridesmaids! She’s not officially engaged yet, but will be within the next month or so and is getting married next May.
On the one hand, I am thrilled! I have never been a bridesmaid before and have always wanted to be one! Plus I love her and I fully support her relationship with this guy.
On the other hand, we’ve only known each other since February and though we’re friends, we don’t have a really deep bond (yet). She’s very sweet, though, and I would love to get to know her better. She said she asked me because she doesn’t have very many girlfriends … she doesn’t have any sisters and has only one close friend from childhood. Her soon to be fiance is planning on having 5 groomsmen!
I told her that I would love to be a bridesmaid if she wants me, but I wouldn’t be hurt if she changes her mind and decides not to worry about having an equal number of guys and girls stand up with them.
I guess I’m just worried because I know sometimes when this sort of thing happens and the bride and the bridesmaids don’t know each other very well the relationship can change dramaticallly between the time the bride asks her and the acutal wedding … one or the other will want to back out, but feels like she can’t.
What do you think, ladies? I want to support my new friend the best I can and help with shower planning and throw her a great bachelorette, but I don’t want this to ruin our friendship!
Post # 3
I think your response was wonderful and very appropriate. You’re right — sometimes people’s relationships change (esp if the relationship is newer). However, if she does ask you when she’s formally engaged you’ll have to be ready to give her an answer. I wouldn’t see any issue with being someone’s bridesmaid — if she asked you it was obviously for a reason (and if she asks you again, it seems like she has made up her mind). Hee hee, maybe you can help her pick out a gorgeous BM dress. 🙂
Post # 4
I agree with DC Anna…Ms Bunny you are a very supportive friend already just by letting your new friend know she’s under no obligation right now! A perfectly appropriate response…she’s a lucky gal to have a supportive and wise friend like you.
Post # 5
It definitely sounds to me like you’re ready to support this girl and be there for her – and you know, sometimes, you can learn a WHOLE lot about a person in a short time! Your answer was definitely appropriate – but I wouldn’t worry about it ruining the friendship, truly – I would just try to gather what it is she wants out of you being her bridesmaid and try to just go along with that … if anything I really do believe your friendship could strengthen because of this!
Post # 6
I think your response was perfect as well, she can change her mind once she gets engaged but hopefully she wont. I asked my *now* best friend to be a BM when I had only known her only 8 months. Im so glad I did because we are best friends now and I couldnt have imagined my wedding without her!
Post # 7
I think your response was perfect. If she does go through with it, think about how this will strengthen and deepen your friendship!
Post # 8
Your response was wonderfully thoughtful and didn’t pressure her in any direction… perfect!
Post # 9
Great response in case she chooses to revaluate her plans. 3 of my bridesmaids have been my friends for years, but another bridesmaid has only been my friend for a year. It’s worked out great. She is a great BM and friend, we take everyday
Post # 10
Giving her the out was great! 🙂 Less pressure for her I suppose. (It might be harder if you want to back out!) Hopefully as things finalize she’ll be able to decide for certain and go forward with plans! It’s nice that you can just support her through it all 🙂