Weddingbee boards

So I spent this weekend at a mock trial tournament in DC.  We did well but didn't progress to the next round so our captain declared this as a night of celebration.  Cool, no problem.  We went out to dinner, drank, were merry.   

Now I have no problem with drinking.  I had several glasses of some really yummy wine at dinner, I laughed, I talked, I soscialized with my team and other competitors.  But I was also exhausted.  Oh my god I was so sleepy.  I don't think I've ever been so tired.  It was after midnight when we got back.  We'd been up since before 7 am.  My roommate snores so I hadn't been sleeping well.  We'd been practicing the case for three days, I had been on my feet in heels for a good portion of the trial it was freezing cold outside and since we hadn't gotten a chance to do any sightseeing and I hadn't been to DC since I was in 5th grade, I wanted to go to bed and get up early the next morning to go into the city.

So when captain announced we'd only come back to change clothes and were going back out into the freezing cold to party more, that sounded like the worst idea in the world to me.  I told him I was about to fall dead on my feet from tired but they should go ahead and I'd love to hear all about the funny stuff that happened tomorrow.

And that's when they all lost their friggin minds.

"WHAT???  YOU CAN'T GO TO BED!!!  WHY WON'T YOU COME WITH US?  WE WON'T GO WITHOUT YOU!!!"  They acted like I just told them I didn't want the golden ticket to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.  I assured them 'guys I'm just about dead here, y'all go have fun I just really need some sleep.  "NOOOOO OMG WHY??" 

Now I've been hassled before for not wanting to stay out super late (again, no problem with partying, I'm just a girlw ho likes her sleep) but these guys took it to a new level.  They proceeded to grab me and drag me out of bed, throw clothes at me, then one of the guys literally pushed me out of the room and they shut the door so I couldn't get back in and hid the room key.  Then they dragged me down to the hotel bar, telling me they wanted to go out but "since they wouldn't go without me I was ruining that for them" ordered Irish Car Bombs and tried to wheedle me to do shots with them.  I was so tired I was falling asleep in my chair and they'd shake me and get in my face and say "why aren't you drinking why aren't you drinking OMG ARE YOU AMISH OR SOMETHING???"  One of them actually was getting mad.  "You don't want to hang out with us?  You don't like us?"  I kept trying to say no that wasn't the case I'd hang out with them tomorrow in DC I was just so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open.  

Then they told me that there would be no sightseeing in DC because they would all be too hungover to do anything but sleep the next day, even though we had the entire day to ourselves since we weren't competing in the next round.  And I couldn't take the one car because we're 30 mins outside the city and there's only one car to share and we need to have it available in case on an emergency.  I started to get pissed off at this point because we had done literally nothing but practice in our hotel for 3 days and they knew how much I wanted to see the city, but they decided to get so drunk they weren't planning on leaving their beds and they were forcing me to join them even though I was so tired I wanted to die.  I told them I was tired of this game and they needed to give me back my room key right now or I'd be asking for one from the front desk and they finally gave it back then. It was about 1:30 when I finally fell into bed.

To those of you who don't understand why someone isn't drinking, as long as that person isn't being all preachy can you please do me a favor and leave them the eff alone?  Up until now I'd actually liked these people, I had no problem with them going out, but the way they made me feel so guilty and horrible about myself and how judgy they were about me just wanting some friggin sleep.  I really liked all these people before this and now I just don't know what to do.  I feel like it needs to be addressed, but have you ever noticed it's always the non drinking person who has to be so careful about touching the subject of drinking?  Yet the drinking people can do whatever the eff they want and hassle and nag and whine and no one says a damn word because the person who doesn't want to be there is just a party pooper and eff them.  

Putting this in relationships because I think a lot of people have this problem with their friends and I'd like their take on how they deal with it.

I think I was amazingly tolerant of it all things considered, I didn't get mad until they told me we were spending the entire next day in the hotel room.

Oh and I forgot the best part.  Around 3:30 am I wake up to loud shouting and banging and all the lights coming on.  They decided to continue the party IN OUR ROOM rather than the boys' room where no one was sleeping!!  Luckily I'm a sound sleeper so I only woke up once but I was ready to push all of them out the window.  I'm still really tired but I guess I have plenty of time to sleep today since I'm not going into the city.  No shopping no good food no sightseeing :(.

That's horrible!  It wasn't right for them to try and force you to go out against your wishes, and I'm sure the alcohol they had already consumed didn't help the situation. I've had friends who done something similar, and I ended up breaking away from them.  It was just too awkward when we hung out together, and I couldn't spend time around people who wouldn't respect my wishes.  These friends drink constantly, and I'm fine with one or two drinks.  My advice would be to see if they offer an apology, and if not, I would look into separating yourself from these people.

@relaxedabout it:  I'm really not sure where these comments about standing up for myself are coming from.  I told them no nicely.  I told them no forcefully.  I said no got in bed like the discussion was over and then was physically dragged out and pushed out the door and my key was hidden and marched down the hall and into the bar and it was only when I threatened to go to the front desk that they gave me my key back.  No they didn't commit a crime or kidnap me or any of that bs and I don't want to report them or anything (although I would like an apology, but I won't hold my breath) but I would have actually had to physically hold on to the bedrail to stop them from pushing me out of the room and locking me out.  And I did go back to the room eventually.  I think I stood up for myself just fine, although I do feel like I should do something in addition today to let them know how nasty they were to me.  How would you have handled the situation differently?

Edit:  And I don't think you'd be screaming, not if the people were your friends.  These people were my friends, and up until that point they'd been very nice and we spent a ton of time together preparing for competition.  They weren't just strangers that forced themselves into my room.  It's really easy to tell people getting pressured that it's their problem and they need to stand up for themselves better but maybe it'd be better if we realized the problems were the bullies and not the ones being bullied?

@Dizbee:  yikes, that sucks. Sorry to hear that. Next time, go straight to the hotel front desk and tell them someone has your key. I think as long as you have your ID and know who's name the room is under, I think you should get in without a problem :(

@OctBride-2012:  great minds think alike ;)

A little update.  Apparently there was a reason why we couldn't go to DC that had nothing to do with them being hungover.  Here's what I heard from a secondhand account:

After I left they went absolutely bonkers at the hotel bar.  They didn't want to pay for expensive bar drinks so they went across the street to Walgreens and brought back bottled beer and wine, which is against hotel rules.  A manager came and "got in their face and acted like a douchebag" (according to the secondhand account from my roommate, personally it sounded like they were out of line and deserved to get yelled at) and said they couldn't drink the stuff they just bought at Walgreens downstairs.  The manager told them they had had enough and needed to leave the bar, which was about 15 minutes from closing anyway.  So they moved to the lobby, which is about 20 feet away from the hotel bar...then the manager got on their case again and told them they had to leave the entire lobby area, so they started stumbling towards the area...when one girl proceeded to drop an entire bottle of wine, which smashed on the floor and leaked onto the carpet.  Instead of profusly apologizing like they should have, they giggled like loons and RAN AWAY.  Like teenagers!  These are mid to late twenties adults in professional school!  Then they ran into my room and turned on all the lights and made a ton of noise and continued the party.  I think at some point they must have left when I went back to sleep because they went into the boys' room and apparently got yelled at by the manager again for making too much noise.

So flash forward to the next morning.   The story I'd been told was that we'd be too hungover to go anywhere, so I wake up early and try not to distrurb my roommates, who are snoring away, then at 9 am our team captain hammers on our door saying we have to get up and get packed up NOW we're leaving.  The story he told us is he "didn't want to charge the school for another night for a hotel when we hadn't progressed in the competition and didn't need to stay."  This struck me as very odd because the room was already paid for until Sunday and we'd always talked about how it'd be good to have a free day if we didn't progress in the competition.

 No one ever told me why we had to leave so suddenly, but I think based on the account from last night they got kicked out.  I never said anything to them because I was one of only two 2Ls on the competition team and all the 3Ls would be graduating and out of my hair in the spring.  Next year however, I will probably be picked as a captain for a team given how well I performed this weekend (I won best attorney three our of the four rounds) and my competitors will NOT be doing this crap.  if someone or a couple of team members act like a drunken asshole and gets us kicked out of our room early, I will have them kicked off the team entirely and will be reporting them to the dean.  I don't care if they think I'm the biggest stick in the mud ever, the way my team acted was disgusting and completely unprofessional and I will not be held responsible for bad behavior next year.

@oneofthesethings:  I don't have confirmation we were kicked out.  None of them will tell me anything beyond the manager was "being a douchebag" and they all keep insisting they just wanted to leave early.  But they were so hungover and miserable I highly, hiiiighly doubt anything would have gotten them out of bed at 9 am unless they were forced out.