Weddingbee boards

So as you may/may not know, my BF and I are getting ready to get engaged, as in we've picked out the ring 2 weeks ago and he is/has buying/bought it on his own time and is proposing to me sometime between now and like.. mid January, lets say. Well his parents have known for several weeks (i mean he wanted to talk to him about it... get advice.etc..) and THEY told his younger brothers (aged 21 and 15) last weekend.. roughly 4/5 days ago.

So we get a call yesterday morning from his mother and she has news. GUESS WHAT! His 21 year old brother proposed to his girl friend the night before! I am LIVID. Why, you ask?

1. We had to kick him out of our apartment in August (he lived with us) because he not only hadnt had a job in 9 months (on his own accord & wasnt trying to change that) but wasnt cleaning up after himself and ORDERED NARCOTICS to our apartment.

2. He has decided recently to sell his perscription drugs for $$ instead of getting a job.

3. He lives at home with mom n dad and has no motivation.

4. His gf of 7 months is a total enabler who (although she doesnt drink or do drugs on her own) puts up with his bs. She's getting ready to graduate college and acually has a future ahead of her while he is stuck in loser land. Sorry to say it, i love the kid but its true.

5. He knew perfectly well that we are about to get engaged and did so WITHOUT a ring (ok try not to jump on me for this, i know people do this legit all the time but its just TOO coinsidental).

6. My mother was at thanksgiving and accidently found out about our pre-engagement through his mother and is just starting to warm up to it all --- now shes like "guess the boys are getting auctioned off!"

and last but not least:

7. That little jerk. I can't even believe him. He had the indecensy to tell us not to get married in a year 1/2 because thats when they were planning on doing it. Give me an ******* break.

I hate to sound as if i am more "justified" in our engagement (well you know... the pending engagement) but i do. Perhaps its a "if you knew everything that i knew youd be on my side" sort of thing but even his parents are rolling their eyes so hard.His gf and him have rained on our parades 3 times in their relationship (1 ex: we invited them to NY with us and they had SEX in our hotel bathroom while we were sleeping 3 feet away, flooding the bathroom). They just dont think about other people and UGH if i cant vent here where can i?

Anyhow if you read all that you deserve another piece of leftover pie. I really appriciate it. =[

i just needed to add that i just am so afraid that they might dampen the "special" feeling about our engagement. Does this make me a brat?

I will be completely honest in saying i dont think that their marriage will ever actually happen. As rude as that may sound. I also dont think hes doing this out of malice or hatred, but he is just genuinely CLUELESS and doesnt see it as an issue-- but who knows, the timing is just too perfect for it to be a coinsidence.... I do care about the kid but weve been giving him tough love for over a year now when it comes to his poor decisions and its really getting to me. Anything but this. Please dont mess with my engagement. =[

i really appriciate all of your input! I really dont want to come across as a whiney idiot but you have to understand that is "worst nightmare" material. We all want our engagement to feel special regaurdless if what they have is legit or not (it very well may be) i have obviously loaded tension with his brother and this added to it just makes me frustrated. It may not make sense but no one in here would be "ok" with the scenario -- trust me!

Well, to be completely honest... the guy sounds like he is trying to get back at you (I know, sounds weird), and/or steal your thunder since he knew your engagement is right around the corner. I say, plan your wedding for whenever you want - I think his 'FI' will soon realize that her man lives in... as you so awesomely put it, 'loser land' and will drop him like a hot rock (when she figures out she will be going places while FI lays at home doing drugs and watching Maury Povich). I don't think that their 'engagement' will last long at all, so you should probably just go about your business and put that out of your mind. :) Congrats on the pending engagement!!!! :)

Bella

Looks like its been bumped!

Honestly guys I'm not jealous. My relationship with my SO is sound and secure, we have an engagement in the midst (any week now), which is certain-- not imagined on my part. My issue with this was mostly with my mother.

I'm not trying to convince anyone on my feelings about this because honestly i'm the only one who knows his brother and this situation. This kid hasn't taken anything seriously in years and he may or may not be taking this seriously now, however the timing is just too questionable.I'd be jealous if i wanted this for myself and had no idea if it was happening but its honestly more certain than knowing tomorrow is Tuesday. I don't want to sound like a brat but this kid doesnt take anything seriously-- takes things for granted, steals money, sells drugs, hasnt even tried to find a job since january--- and his engagement , to me, is just another one of these things. As terrible as it sounds I don't want this to make our engagement to look any less serious. His parents are not taking him seriously (i mean he's done this before, been "engaged" to another girl he dated a few months and it lasted about 4 more..).

Anyhow I'll stop now. Like I said, think what you will--- but if you were in this situation you too would have been furious. Time has now passed and the initial annoyance has passed and I am looking forward and focusing on us. But to say I was upset because I was jealous just simply isnt true.

And I do appriciate all of your input ladies, I really do. Sorry if I sounded snarky or anything to that affect, but you should understand it just felt like my parade was getting "rained on".

But again, thank you all! This is a situation for the past now :)

OH I totally feel for you!! My fiance's brother found out that he was proposing to me while we were away on a cruise last year, so he proposed to his girlfriend at home, the same day.. so when we called home to tell the family, they were all freaking out and having a party for them... I was LIVID!!!! Try not to let it get to you though, just from personal experience!  Just plan your wedding as you would have if they were not engaged, and try not to talk about your plans too much (so they don't copy... and then plan their wedding weeks before yours!!!)  Having been going through the struggles with this for the past year, just realy try to focus on the wonderful things between you and your boyfriend and then enjoy being engaged.  If you get too wrapped up in the anger it starts to cloud your own planning, and you will find yourself asking "what are they doing?" and starting allowing it to impact your own planning, then one day you look and think "crap, that's not the wedding I wanted!"... so learn from my mistakes and try to focus on the good stuff!!! Dont even take it into consideration (except aboiut the date of course!!- Dont pick the same day!!)  good luck, and take a deep breath! Don't let this shadow your own pending engagement!!!