Post # 1
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Don’t toy with me, man! My SO noticed me on Wedding Bee about a week ago and asked how you ladies were doing, and I said there were lots of sad posts regarding not being engaged yet… Without much hesitation and in a very cheery tone he replied “well, you won’t have to wait very much longer!”
I hadn’t even been stressing out about waiting for a few weeks, and frankly still am not, but that made me switch into over-analytical mode before the words were out of his mouth. I wasn’t expecting a proposal through the holidays, but I can’t think of any occassion when it might happen in the timeframe I would consider “soon”. Maybe he thinks a year isn’t “much longer”? I almost wish he hadn’t said anything because then I’d just be assuming it was months and months away and wouldn’t be worrying about it. But I guess over-analyzing statements like this is part of the game, right?
We haven’t reached the financial landmarks we were hoping to reach before we became engaged, and I can’t think of any special trips or dates coming up. He could care less what we do for New Year’s, and we’re going into the busy season at work so I won’t be able to take any weekends off for the next three months. That’s not to say we can’t go do things on my weekdays off, but that’s not condusive to any romantic overnight trips or extravagent dates that would be obvious giveaways. I honestly don’t know if he would propose in a low-key way (which would be impossible to see coming), or wait for an occassion of some sort.
Have your SOs freaked you guys out with phrases like this before they popped the question? Were their ideas of not waiting much longer in line with what you would have considered that length of time? Thanks for letting me obsess over here with you gals, I’m too embarassed to talk about these things in real life; everyone else I know is either happily engaged already or not in a serious relationship! The few times I have brought up the anticipation to close friends, I think they think I’m unhappy waiting. Some days I am, but most days I’m just bubbling with excitement about it, so it’s nice to have an outlet like this for both those moods!
Post # 3
My SO and I arent engaged yet, and wont be for quite some time…but he has made joking tones sometimes. And when he was newly divorced he said he never wanted to get married again, but recently has told me a few times that he changed his mind, but there is a checklist beforehand. And we have done almost everything on the checklist. So we shall see…
Post # 4
From my experience: NOTHING. I think I have turned into a cynic, SO asked my Dad for my hand nearly 18 months ago and still not a sausage. *sigh*. I wish you the best of luck though! 🙂 It’ll come.
Post # 6
@Liss13: Aww, I’m sorry you are still waiting. But it sounds like you’re getting close!
This was so unlike my SO to say something like this; he doesn’t tease me or joke about when we will get engaged, the only time we talked about when it will happen was when we had our timeline conversation back in October, and then it was coming anytime in the next 12 months… I am only 3 months into that period of time, and he hasn’t tried to lead me on or tease me or fake me out about it. That’s why I’ve been obsessing over the fact that he said something!
@ladyartichoke: Hopefully it will come soon! He talked to your dad, that’s a great sign! Do you know what he’s waiting for? That would drive me nuts…
@grapecrush: Forgot to add that option to the poll! But I’m pretty sure that’s *not* what he meant by “soon”…
Post # 7
My SO comments all the time. It makes it even worse because his family knows when it will happen. We’ve got a little weekend trip planned for late January so I’m guessing it will happen then. I am freaking out because it’s so close and he has no idea.
Post # 8
So frustrating! I got “soonish” the other day. What does this mean????
Post # 9
I don’t know about you ladies, but when someone says, “Come here” and I say, “I’ll be there soon”…that doesn’t mean a month or a year. That means it’s imminent. Tops a few weeks. Boyfriend says “soon” can be months! O_O
Maybe that’s my impatient behind speaking. ^_^
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2015 - Alexander Homestead
@MadameX: I can relate with how you feel 110%! My SO has been bringing it up himself a lot lately (and actually I can say he is the one who brought it up seriously before I did!) and I was cool and even keel about it all until he started talking REAL talk! Now I can’t stop my mind from thinking through all of the possibilities. Just 5 days ago he asked me for my ring size and what sort of engagement ring I would like (the stone and metal types) and my excitement went from 0 to 10 in 0.35 seconds! Then last night when I tried to get a timeframe out of him, he said he liked the idea of an anniversary wedding date in 2015 but refused to tell me if he would propose this year! He has used the words “we’ll be engaged here soon” but when I asked if we would have a 2013 proposal (since we already established a 2015 wedding date and we want a 2 yr engagement) he shut down and said it could be next weekend, next year, 3 years, who knows! 🙁 He really wants me completely OUT of this process so he can feel like just he is behind the reigns. He does not want me stepping on his manly pride and me wanting to have a hand in how it all goes down. Being a type A personality and control freak when it comes to big decisions in my life does not help my excitement/anxioty any. I hate I can’t give you a proposal story just yet so that you can have my prospective from the other side but maybe you’ll find comfort in finding someone else in your same shoes. Background: We have been dating 6 years, 4 months, LDR (he is moving to my city this year! (2013)
Post # 11
My SO’s version of soon and my version of soon are two very different things.
My soon was within a few weeks
His is within 3-6 months.
So yeah… I cant help you there lol.
Post # 12
Me: soon means a few weeks
A guy or My SO at least: soon means 6 months +
Post # 13
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one in this position! I wasn’t expecting “not much longer” to mean right away… But it’s so vague. I was keeping things under control when I had an established timeline and knew it could be anytime between now and next fall, but this is the only thing he’s said regarding time since we had that conversation, and I can’t help but think he meant it would be sooner than the end of our timeline.
That being said… Hearing your stories is helping me put it into perspective! It sounds like guys can interpret “soon” (or “not much longer…”) much more flexibly than women!
Post # 14
my SO keeps saying VERY SOON, I PROMISE. WTH is that? I know he got some $ from his dad for xmas, and it was a lot, enough for a ring. So i’m waiting. He came up with a lame excuse for us to go to a surprise bday party for a friend on Sunday, why we just found out about t his on xmas day, i have no idea. We are close with the friends, why didn’t they call us sooner? I think he’s blowing smoke up my ass, but I’m not keeping my hopes up….but i’ll let you know if VERY SOON, I PROMISE, means less than a month LOL
Post # 15
My boyfriend said it would be “very soon” back in November. To me that means…a couple weeks tops. Who knows what it means to him, but I’m not loving his sense of time!
Post # 16
My now-FI is a go-getter, and when he decides to do something, he does it. So I knew that when he said “soon,” he meant within a few weeks.
But of course no one is the same, so you’d have to decide based on your SO’s personality. 🙂
Then again, he purposely made me think that it could be months just so he could surprise me. He proposed the day after the ring came in – he made me think that he was going to wait until New Year’s (a special holiday to us). I wouldn’t be surprised if your man wanted to fake you out like that. 🙂