You'd be a horrible mother…

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Wow. That’s a lot of venom to spew at your wife. Is there something else going on to warrant that kind of treatment?

Post # 3
3778 posts
Honey bee

Your husband sounds like a total dick.

Sorry, but seriously, who says that to their wife?

Post # 5
245 posts
Helper bee

Is that the whole story? Were you pressuring him to answer whether he wanted kids or not? Clearly that’s no excuse but it would go some way to explain why he blew up at you and said horrible things, has he always been so volatile? It’s his right not to want to have children, but if that was his decision then it should have been made very clear to you before he married you, and if it WAS made clear to you then it’s not fair to try & change his mind & you need to accept it or leave. 

If I were you, I’m sorry but I WOULD leave, you may or may not want children in your future and it doesn’t look like you will get that choice with him, also, I wouldn’t want to be with someone who thought I would make a terrible mother thats a disgusting thing to say about your WIFE, why did he marry you?! As for his comments about not being attracted to you after giving birth, wow, he needs to grow up.

Post # 6
7915 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Wow your husband is a complete asshole. Gosh maybe just take him up on that divorce offer. I’d rather be married to a cactus. They’d be kinder.

Post # 7
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

My jaw is on the floor. Those were some pretty horrible things that your husband said to you, OP. Not to play I-know-you-are-but-what-am-I, but it doesn’t really sound like he’s a potential Father of the Year candidate himself. How about some respect? Geez.

Post # 9
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Sorry but your DH sounds like a douche.

Post # 10
245 posts
Helper bee


WannaBeeAnonaBee:  Was he laughing and joking along with you whilst saying those things? Doesn’t make them any more acceptable but was he completely serious? My FI jokes all the time about my would-be terrible parenting skills(sorry, I don’t like kids and won’t be having them)and I know he doesn’t actually mean it.

Post # 11
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

WannaBeeAnonaBee:  Even if he only heard horror stories, and the hate comes from a place of personal fear and insecurity about having children, how can you say something like that to your wife?? I would be crushed.  I am so sorry you had to hear that. 🙁 It is very unfair.

Unfortunately, I really don’t have any advice aside sharing how it made you feel.  Best wishes. 

Post # 13
8388 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

WannaBeeAnonaBee:  I really hope he was kidding.  Maybe he’s just scared about having kids and he’s lashing out a bit (not that it makes it ok, but hopefully he didn’t really mean any of that). 

Post # 14
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Honestly, I’d bet on him being a horrible father moreso than you being a horrible mother. What type of person says that to somone they love?!

Even he has valid fears about his sex life and your body changes, there are much more tactful ways of discussing that. He does realize that both you and he will not be the same throughout your lives together, right? Is he just going to trade you in when things start to go south physically??

Whether or not you want to have kids is not the true issue here, your DH is being incredibly harsh.

I am so sorry you’re faced with the person you love being so terrible to you. A good spouse is understanding and kind… not degrading and hateful!

Post # 15
6667 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think you married an asshole.  “Ruin” your body?  WTF?

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