Post # 1
Lately I have realized that the conversation about getting married is totally different when the man (or woman) in question is a member of the United States Military. I just got engaged to a man in the US Air Force, a man I am confident that I will be with for the rest of my life, without a doubt in my mind. I’m only 18 years old, and my man is 20. I don’t need anyone to tell me I’m too young or not ready for this commitment. We want to live together starting next summer, and the only way for us to do this with any amount of financial stability is with spousal benefits, a option most young couples don’t get to consider. He will be able to support us both while I continue my college education to become a nurse, and his current job does not deploy. As a brand new development, I have not yet told my family and friends of the engagement, and I have no idea what to expect from them. Without their support, my airman and I can’t have a real wedding, and I’m so worried that what will soon be the happiest day of my life will be seen so negatively by the people closest to me. I want to wear a white dress, cut a traditional wedding cake, and say our vows surrounded by people who care about us, and who celebrate our life together. Why should that be taken away from me just because of my age? Have any of you women married so young? Did you encounter a lot of criticism for your decision, and if so, were they still able to be supportive? This is my first post on this site, and would love feedback and advice, both supportive and honest.
Post # 2
Hey! I’m 24, and will also be marrying an air man. I thibk if this is what makes you happy, go for it. You seem mature about it, and you understand that financial stability is key. How long have you been together? Best wishes!
Post # 3
sweetdarling: thanks! Good luck to you as well. We’ve been together for a year and a half.
Post # 4
This might sound harsh but do not get married if the main purpose is for the spouse benefits. That should not ever be a reason, only a bonus. I say this from experience! Several friends married quicker than they’d have normally due to the fact that marriage is the only thing the military recognized. It put a lot of strain on their marriages. Some are still married. Others aren’t. They got married, by their own admissions, before they were ready because they felt the military was forcing it on them
Before you assume I’m telling you that you’re too young or are rushing things, know I am not. I’m saying remove him being in the military from the equation. Would you still be ready to marry him and would marry him within the same time frame if he weren’t? If so, then you have your support when you tell people you’re getting married. It’s not that you’re getting married because his job is leaving you no other option, which is a stigma many couples in your situation face (which is why I’ve addressed this issue as I have). You and he are ready to get married – yes being married is beneficial for his job, but never feel obligated to use it to defend your choice. You’re getting married because you’re ready. Not because his job is forcing it as your only option. Ready is only something the two of you can determine. Don’t make excuses for why you’re ready. Don’t feel the need to defend it. However, don’t dismiss concerns of the people you respect. Hear them out. Don’t take it personally when they express their concerns. Who knows, they might say something that resonates true to you. They might not either.
Just remember at the end of the day only you and he can decide if you’re ready.