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I have been with my FI for 2 1/2 years, and I'm happier than I've ever been. The thing is... I'm only 20. No one in my family has said anything mean and they love Drew to death but I'm worried that it does bother them that I'm so young. I'm not planning on getting married until 2011 so I'll be 22. Is there anyone else getting married young or who got married young that would like to share thoughts?
I don't think that 22 is too young to get married :) I'll be 26 but as long as you're happy who cares what anyone else thinks?
I second what Corgi said. I think that as long as you have been together a bit (not like 6 months and you're 18 and omg gotta get married kinda thing) - which is seems like you have, and honestly KNOW eachother, you shouldn't care what others think. I'll be 24, close to 25 next year when we marry (and FI will be almost 27). :)
Bella
Im currently 20 and I have been married for 4 months now. Ive been with my husband with dating/marriage over 3 years. I know many people were against me getting married so young but honestly i couldnt be happier. its your maturity and not your age that determines if your ready!
I say if you feel your ready then thats all that matters! congrats to both of you!!
Maybe it does, but you know what--YOU'RE the one in the relationship, not them. So as long as they keep their naysays quiet (everybody has doubts about others--even long timers, people can't help but be skeptical sometimes about everybody else!) and are supportive to you guys, that's all that matters.
If it REALLY bothered them, i'm sure your parents would mention it. It's not like you're talking about getting married Right.Now. You'll be 22...that's definitely a more acceptable age. Not that it isn't...just saying parents get used to the idea of 22 because you're out of college by then. That's the big thing i've heard--getting married when you've graduated versus before kind of stuff.
I'll probably be getting married at 22 as well; my sister married at 20, well before she graduated, and five years later she's a tenured teacher, happily married, building a house, and has a baby on the way. Some people know what they want and don't let age become an obstacle.
There are so many misunderstandings about getting married young...but there are problems at any age, you know? You're the only one that can make this decision and if you are dedicated to making it work, it will work.
I think waiting until you are 22 should silence any negative comments you might get. It's one thing to get engaged young, but quite another to get engaged young and make it through a 2 year engagement.
I am so thankful I waited until now (28) to get married, but I was a very immature 20 year old - definitely would not have made a good wife.
Hi Miss Belle!
I am a lot like you! I started dating my (now) fiance when I was 18, and by the time we were 20/21, we knew for sure we wanted to get married. We are waiting until 2011 (so I will be 24) to get married because I need to finish grad school, but it is a pretty similar situation. We got engaged about 8 months ago, right before I turned 22, and my dad made a couple of comments about how young we are.
As long as the two of you will have your lives somewhat in order (which is why we are waiting till I get my masters), I don't see any *real* reason for your parents to get too upset, unless they are just having trouble letting go, which is a the case for mine.
Don't let anyone second guess you! :)
I think your plan is good-as long as it works for you. That's all that really matters. I started dating my FI when we were 15, got engaged at 20, and will be 21 when we get married, and both families couldn't be happier!
I'm 22, will be 23 when we get married, and its awesome! As long as you love each other and know that you will spend the rest of your life with each other, than thats all that matters!
I was 21 and my husband was 22 when we got married. We got engaged when we were 19 though but we kept it a secret for a while because we weren't planning on getting married until after we graduated college and we didn't want our parents getting upset about it and thinking that we were going to get married sooner.
I'm getting married June 13 at 18 and my fiance will be 20. I know i'll get some nasty comments, but that's perfectly fine. We have been dating for 3 years. My family feels that we're both mature enough to start a life together. i suppose you wouldn't really understand unless you knew us personally. I think ppl should be judged by their relationship, not by their ages. My fiance andi are very traditional....we believe that a couple should be married before living together or having children. My famiy weren't surprised at all when we announced we were engaged.
I don't think 22 is too young to get married either. I will be 25 when I get married, FI will be 26. I agree with the above posters, it really depends more on your maturity level than your actual age.
I'm 18 and my FH is 20. We've been together for almost 5 and a half years. As long as everything goes as planned, we're planning to get married 3 months before i turn 20. so i think its just fine :)
I think it depends much more on your life situation and maturity than your age. Both of us are 22 now, will be 23 by the marriage, and the families are mostly just happy we waited until after college, as am I!
It's a hard thing to defend to those people who are against it though, eh? :\
FI and I are both 22. Our families were both worried when we decided to get married and what helped us was having some frank conversations with them about what concerned them most and trying to address those concerns. So when we found out they were worried about our financial stability, we made sure to let them know about all of our successes at work, how much we were saving for our emergency fund, etc, so they could see that we were making good financial decisions. When they said they were worried whether FI treated me well, I made sure to tell them about all of the sweet things he does for me.
Sometimes my mom still asks, "So you do love FI? Still want to marry him?" I don't really take it personally because I know she is just looking out for me.
I'm 22, FI is 30 and we'll both be a year older when we get married. My family and his are both very supportive. My friends are the ones with doubts. I'm the first to get married and they just can not imagine giving up the single life for good.
I remind myself that they're just letting me know that they want the best for me. :)
I was 18 when I met my fi and 22 when we got engaged. But I wont get married till I am 25 because I personally felt too young to get married. but thats just me.
My parents got married when they were 21 (actually I think mum had just turned 22). Everyone said they were too young. Dad's parents hadn't even met mum when he took her home to announce their engagement. But 30 years later they're as happy as can be, so I don't think age matters nearly as much as the relationship itself and the two people involved :)
I'm 20 also :) My FI & I have been together for almst 4 years and we're getting married in 2011. I'll be 21 (almost 22) I don't think that's too young at all. I think it's all about maturity level. If you feel that you are in love with someone and want to spend the rest of your life with that person and you are ready financially and emotionally to get married, I see no reason not to! As long as you & your FI are happy, that's all that matters. I know I, personally, am so excited to be a young bride. We get to start our lives together sooner and I can't wait! I wish you and your fiance the best.
Wow! there's quite a few of us 20 year olds getting hitched! Ill be 4 days from turning 21 when we get married, but if i wasn't graduating school next semester we would be waiting another year to get married. I can't stand the thought of having to depend on one income while im in school and having to commute over an hour to school daily. that would be to much strain on our marriage and my psyche with the stress of school. I don't think i am to young to get married. I think i am very mature and i know i could take care of myself financially and emotionally even without my FI. I think that's an important aspect, to be able to know that you could do what you have to do to survive alone, but the FI makes it a little sweeter and easier.
My fiance and I started dating when I was 15 and he 16. We've been together for four years and will be getting married this summer! I will be 20 and he will be 21. We are definitely young, but we are financially independent from my parents and his and we both consider ourselves mature. Definitely not your typical 20 year olds. I am so happy to see that there are so many other young brides my age! It really makes me feel better. My parents have been very anti our marriage not because they don't like him, but because they think they know so many couples who got married when they were young and the wife ended up having to sacrifice her education for her husband's. It has been hard to convince them that we are committed to NOT going down that road. I completely agree that being prepared for marriage is not about age, but your maturity, ability to handle life's situations, and your relationship with your SO.
I think too many brides are concerned about what people will think. If you really feel you are too young, then that is your personal choice, but I know way to many girls who are in their mid-20s who would like to be married and are afraid of the judgement they would receive for being "so young." I understand how in some situations the concern of family members and friends is appropriate, but I have seen a lot of judging of brides about age. Too young, to old, ....
Sorry for getting off on a bit of a rant there. :-)
I think a way to silence your family's concerns is have a talk with your parents, discuss your financial stability and your ability to handle life. This went a long way with mine.
Definitely not too young! I'll be 22 and FI will be 21. If you know he's the one, that's all that matters.
There was a thread awhile back (I'll see if I can find it) about this topic. I think the concensus was.. its not how old you are by age... but by your maturity in your relationship and life. No one knows your relationship better than you. If you are concerned with it at all, talk it out on here ... chances are there are many girls in the hive you have had similar feelings.
I know exactly how you feel. I'm 21 and when people find out I'm engaged their resonse is always 1 of 2 things.
1) "oh my gosh but you're sooo young!"
2) "Are you from a small town?"
The things that keeps me strong is knowing that I'm coming home to him each day and that is all that matters. Congrats. enjoy your life. You shouldn't deny yourself love just because society thinks that the average marriage age is in your mid to late twenties. Technically if we were in the 14th century we'd be spinsters. Why does society get to choose when you are allowed to fall in love and have a family? They dont'. Way to be young brides! ")
Okay I think I feel safe to respond on this post, I responded on a few and the consensus was not as pleasant. I am 18 and FI is 20. We have been dating off and on since middle school and we have been living together for 3 years. We have a son (not by choice but a blessing) and we are more than ready to get married. I shot down the first proposal when I was 16 and pregnant because he wasn't as mature as he is now and I wanted to see what kind of father he would be. He is an awesome dad and last New Year's Eve when he proposed I finally said yes because I felt comfortable and confident in my decision. People are going to try and bring you down but I just take it all with a grain of salt. FI and I have been through ALOT over the last seven years of knowing each other, but we have both grown and matured alot. I do feel that some young brides AKA my 16 year old stepsister are wrong in their decision, but I would never shoot their marriage down. I always wanted to marry and have kids young...maybe not have a kid at 17...but still I wanted to be married with a family before I was 20. People call me crazy all the time but I fully support all of you guys and I wish you all the best in your marriages!
I'm also 20 (will be 21 when we get married) and my FI is 21. We'll be celebrating our 6 year wedding anniversary a week from today and we're getting married 6 months from today! :) I haven't gotten any comments from our families or anyone that knows us, but I'm sure there are people out there who think we're too young. You sound like you're being totally responsible about it, and I'm sure your parents will see that. You've gotta do what's best for you and makes you happy, because people will always find something that they disagree with or think you should do differently. Best wishes!
I will be 22 when I get married in May next year and my FH will be 23. We have been together for over 3 and a half years and we're definetly ready. We knew we wanted to get married a long time ago, but then he joined the Air Force and got stationed in New Mexico (I'm in Idaho) so we decided to push it up. I am graduating in the next year and a half after I transfer to a university there and it is all working out! Don't fret, I get a lot of comments about my age too. We are happy and ready and that is all that matters!
My grandparents married at 18 and 23 respectively, they were married for 50 years before she passed. Granted people say that things have changed since then but has it? I think divorce is something that is likely whether you get married at 18 or 32. Wisdom does come with age but I know 32 years who shouldn't have gotten married and did. So all that to say it is up to the couple. And everyone can shut their trap. lol
I'm in almost exactly the same situation. I'm 20 and have been with my fiance since I was 17. We got engaged a few months ago, but are waiting until I graduate from university in 2011 (when I'll be 22) before we get married. The reason we're waiting so long is because my family had concerns about my age, and about his age, as he is 12 years older than me. They love him, and are happy about our relationship, but they don't want to see me rushing into a serious committment at a young age. We're also living together now, so there is no real reason to rush.
If your family have problems with it, they'll let you know in time. Perhaps if you really feel that there are tensions that need to be addressed you could sit down with your parents (without your FI) and gently ask them if there is anything that they want to share. They might point you towards some areas where they think you two could show your maturity as a couple, and it will give them the opportunity to voice any of their concerns. It doesn't sound like you're rushing into anything, or being immature, so you might find that they are indeed nothing but very happy for you. Hope thats the case!
I'm 22, will be 23 when we get married. Couldn't be more ready or happier :)
my boyfriend and I are both young (college kids), though we are not engaged we do get told that were too young to be so serious, dont dont know what love is, and that it wont last. i just ignore it, we know what were doing, were in love and people just need to accept that. my parents are really supportive which im very thankful for.
I was worried at first too, but when you know it's right you just know. I am 21 and I just got engaged. My FI is 20! We are getting married in 2011 as well and I will be 22! & I am also from Charleston, SC! :):)
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I am currently 20 turning 21 at the end of the month and I am getting married in August 2010. My Fiance is 28 turning 29 in February and we have been together for 3 years and engaged for 1 year. I have had so many of my family members as in Grandmother and a few Aunts have their own opinions and saying that I am too young but both of our parents don't see it that way. They don't even know or understand our relationship. My Fiance's mom was so excited when she heard he wanted to purpose to me and made him do it ASAP. My mom was VERY excited as well she loves him so much. We recently sold out condo and are currently building a house and I am a student so he supports me in every way he can.
I don't understand why people have their opinions on being "too young" and what not. I have been in 1 other serious relationship and dated quite a bit before I met my fiance and when you meet him you just know you want to spend the rest of your lives together. In college I had one of my proff's say "I waited until I was 35 to get married becasue sixty-something% of marriages fail when you marry before the age of 30. (He was an idiot) but when he said this all my friends looked at me, and I was very upset. I also had a older mean lady in my class who was getting married for the second time who said to me "Why get married when you know you are just going to get divorced anyway?". All of that was VERY tough! But in the end it has made me stronger and people can think what they want but all the people who know both of us know we are a perfect match.
Don't care what anyone else says! Listen to your heart!
P.S: My FI and his parents have been together since they were 15! They are now 55!
@nurselindsey...off topic but my future last name is Lindsey! ")
I think it depends on maturity level of you and your partner. I was engaged at 21 to my son's dad shortly after my son was born. i was mature and in school, working etc. my son's dad was not. i definitely think that maturity levels have nothing to do with age, education level, etc. it sounds like most of you-all are very well grounded. adnd i am a huge fan of saying if you can fight in war, you can marry.
Just adding myself into this - my fiance and I will both be 22 when we get married three weeks after we graduate from college, and he will be an officer in the military. We'll be a month shy of six years together when we get married. Having been through four years of long distance, plus one year when I was overseas, I know that we have the right kind of relationship. Thankfully all of my friends and family are incredibly supportive, because they know us, and all in all other people have not been very judgmental to my face, but sometimes I feel like I am always explaining myself or something like that. But the bottom line is I know this is a good thing, and right for us, and that's all that really matters.
for some reason my post is cutting off. i'll repost below, i guess.
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