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My fiance and I fall into the category of "young" (early 20s), and we are currently both still in school (but full-time jobs are in the relatively near future).
We want to go to Europe for our honeymoon, and even though it is quite an expense, I feel that it is the right thing to do for us. However, I feel like we are constantly being judged by others who think we don't know how to handle our finances and that we are immature for even getting married before we have "real" jobs.
To other young brides: Where are you going on your honeymoon? And how do you handle the negative attitudes (if any) from other people?
I hope we can support each other through this. :)
My husband and I couldn't go on a honeymoon because we didn't have the money at the time and we moved a month after the wedding. As long as you can afford it, then I say go for it!
I'm not a young bride anymore, and I'm pushing it taking a total of 7 days off for the wedding (and two whole weekends in a row of not working!). There aren't many other times in your life when you can take off a whole chunk of time and run around Europe. Go for it.
You'll never regret taking time off to travel! I agree with monitajb, if you have the time and can afford to do it, go for it and enjoy! Life just gets more complicated as you get older and settle into work routines, so now is such a wonderful time to see the world!
Maybe you could say to naysayers something like, "We feel so fortunate to have found one another, to be ready to commit to one another, and to be at a time in our lives where we have the ability to get away for an extended honeymoon to celebrate" and leave it at that. Hopefully they won't push too hard. Most importantly, do what's right for you and good luck!
If you can afford it, go! I would love to go to Europe, especially before hitting the "real world." You're likely not going to have this much time in the near future, so travel where you want now. My FI and I talked about Europe, but we can't afford it, so (if he has planned a honeymoon yet and I don't think he has) we're going to Mexico.
We're a young couple and we decided that even though money is tight, a honeymoon is a must. Hopefully one day we will both be raking in the dough and will be able to jet off to anywhere we want without a second thought, but when that day comes, it won't really be our honeymoon! I think never again will we have that combination of freedom, excitement, passion, etc. that we will have (hopefully) in the days after the wedding. We're going on a 2 week honeymoon to Paris and Nice.
we're going to postpone our honeymoon until the next big school break for him (i'll be working), and that way we can save up a little bit after the wedding. we're thinking of doing an all inclusive resort cause they're usually not too bad...
Who is judging you? Is it family/close friends or random acquaintances?
We took a two-week trip to Europe right after graduating college last year before starting our jobs. We didn't get any negative comments from people because everyone knew we had the jobs lined up. We spoke to people frankly about our financial situation and the decisions we were making to alleviate any concerns. I suggest you do the same (if the comments are coming from family or close friends). If not, your finances really aren't their business, so I wouldn't feel the need to justify myself.
Finally, if a lot of people really are concerned about your financial situation, do you think there might be some truth to their comments? Usually when several people point something out to me, they're at least partially right.
EDIT: To second some of the other posters, one big benefit of traveling now is the ability to take time off. It's definitely been a huge adjustment for me this year going from college to being in the workforce and unable to take many days off.
Do it. I don't think you will ever regret traveling unless it puts you into serious debt.
I second @missAsB...my FH and I are moving at basically the EXACT same time (a little before and a little after) the wedding...to a whole different STATE so we won't have time! His parents are giving us money instead of paying for the honeymoon and right now moving, getting settled into a new place and new jobs, makes the most sense to us. We *do* plan to take a "mini 'moon" but nothin beyond a nice weekend somewhere in the Austin (where we are moving) area. We may be able to take a nice honeymoon for our 1 year anniversary (job permitting)
I know, we really should just go for it...
When I say people are judgmental, I mean that they are not as excited/supportive/joyful as I think they would be if someone else had told them they were going to Europe. That might just be my paranoia, but I do think I can sense that from some people.
And no one has explicitly commented on our financial situation, but I feel that people do still judge and that makes me feel bad and uncomfortable.
We're also 20-somethings AND we wanna go to Europe! We'll have grown-up jobs by the time we get married, so depending on how much we're making, we've decided that it's okay if we postpone the honeymoon. I'd rather put it off a few months and do what I want than settle for a second choice! We'll get to do it within the next couple of years and that's all that matters to me :)
dont have the money but if it magically shows up def backpacking through europe
We're just traveling to Seattle. I've been to Europe previously and FI has no desire to really travel much, he's too in love with the Inland Empire to want to go somewhere else. It'll be about a week or so and the hotel and condo we're staying in will cost about $1k and we'll have about $1k to spend hopefully. It's something we'll both enjoy a lot.
His parents are giving us the money to go to the Bahamas, but of course MY dad has to be the one saying that we should use the 3000 for something practical. That's what we will be doing our whole lives, this might be our only chance and we're taking it!
We aren't doing a honeymoon- we're taking the money we could have spent on that and putting it into getting an apartment... Plus theres at least a small chance we could be moving to Japan (We'll know by April 9th!) for the next 1-3 years, so that would kinda be like a honeymoon :)
OH! And did I mention we'll be moving across the country either way? So we'll be in a new city (Seattle or Portland!) and ready to explore that. We'll definitely take a few days off to relax wherever we end up though :)
If we can afford to do it, we would like to go to Iceland. Not the most romantic destination, but for us, we don't really know if we'll have an opportunity to travel there while we're still young and fit [the terrain is rather rugged outside of the cities] if we wait until our son is old enough to travel there with us... it just may never happen, some vacation destinations are just not kid friendly.
If we end up being unable to afford a honeymoon out of the country we will probably go somewhere on the coast, as there are lots of really interesting and quaint places to go.
I would be really frustrated with people treating me "like a kid" but we haven't had to deal with that yet, since we have been keeping honeymoon plots to ourselves so far.
However, in light of the economy the attitude could just be shock/fear about spending "extravagantly" when the popular mindset is "every dollar is precious. save!save!save!"
the attitude could also just be stemming from concern that the jobs you have (regardless of employment) may not be available later, or that you may lose them due to the poor economy (though, things ARE getting better, slowly).
We don't have a lot of time to take off work (or money) so we will probably just stay a couple nights in a really nice hotel.
We're not even having one! problem solved, lol.......sucks, but such is life.
My fiance and I really wanted to go to Europe for the honeymoon. We decide we couldn't afford it so we're going to Puerto Rico instead. We're planning on going just the two of us some day - hopefully when we save up money and before kids! In my experience living and travelling overseas - give yourself atleast 2 weeks - 1 just won't do it!!
i'm not that young of a bride (i turned 27 the week after my wedding) and my husband is 31. we weren't able to travel to europe for our honeymoon because of real jobs, he couldn't take that much time off of work. i've done a lot of traveling when i was younger, didn't have the "real job" in the way and had my parents there to help me out. i think it's good to travel whenever you can, because later on you won't be able to as much, especially if there's plans for kids.
Not a bride yet, or young,LMAO, but we plan to have a honeymoon. We'll cut out parts of the wedding to do it. Right now, we want to use at the least $3000.
I'm 27 and my FI is 30. He in school and I work full time. Our schedules are equally as conflicting because he only has break during certain times, and my job doesn't always allow me to leave for large periods of time. We took a trip to Thailand in March 2009 and looooved it. We are foodies, so it was paradise for us. The US dollar to Thai Baht exchange was great. Everything there is really cheap, and it's beautiful. We plan a to go back for our honeymoon. We are getting licensed to scuba dive and hitting the reefs. We had to postpone it until January 2011 for a couple of reasons. As much as we would love to go to Europe, the euro is killing the dollar and it isn't within our budget. My point is, please don't think you have to take your honeymoon immediately after your wedding. By waiting a little bit, it might give you the opportunity to save a little more, secure a job after school, etc. If your family is passing judgement, it might just be because they have your best interests in mind. :) It may not look that way, as families have a funny way of showing it. Please don't think I"m trying to deter you from taking a honeymoon! I think you should do what's best for the two of you. Just know that their are other options that will let you have the honeymoon you want, without "hoping for the best" when you return. Best of luck! :)
We're just taking a minimoon because we don't have the $$. We're getting married while working p/t but we'll be working just about f/t the next month, and moving and working f/t two months after the wedding, if we can find jobs (we aren't picky; we'll take what we can get for now!) I think if you can afford Europe then who cares what other people think...
We've gotten tons of negative attitudes, not about the hm but about the wedding itself. We got engaged at 18 and 19 for one. (Now 20 and 21, two years and three months later.) For two, our parents are paying for the wedding, which is not cheap. Anytime I say something my parents and I got into an argument over (which isn't often) if I say that I usually don't put up a fight about any details and I usually give into my parents style, people have told me "It's not up to you because you're not paying for it." I get that my parents (and his) should have more input than if they weren't paying for it...but seriously, I've been told that everything is my parents' decision by some of their friends..if we had known this was going to happen we might have saved and tried to pay for a small wedding ourselves (we originally really wanted small..) The other day at work in a family owned business (I quit my higher paying job to work there, for convenience of the schedule and cos they needed some help, might I add!) I was told that "You don't have a job." Uh? I'm at WORK and it's not like I get off easy (the opposite) because it's family owned!!!
I could go on and on but I guess the only thing I can tell you is that you need to learn who is important and who isnt. Ignore them!
If you really want to go to Europe and money is tight, Iceland Air has a nice promotion where you can do a 3-day stopover in Iceland, and then fly on to continental Europe for no more than a regular flight to Europe. The rates to London were relatively affordable, and that might be a nice trip.
But if you are looking for an intensive trip, I would strongly suggest that you do a minimoon now and save your honeymoon for when you are more rested. We went to Cambodia, Vietnam and Thailand for our honeymoon 6 months after the wedding, and we were really glad we waited because we would have been too tired right after the wedding to see anything except the beaches in Thailand.
Both of us are still in school (grad), although we are not really young, I am in my mid-late 20s and he is in his early 30s. We don't have enough to go on a honeymoon after our wedding, but we have a pre-honeymoon in Vegas after our wedding to visit my family and stay in a really nice hotel for a few days. We will be saving up for our 'real' honeymoon in 1-3 years. I don't mind waiting that long at all. We have so much to do for school that I really can't see myself honeymooning in the near future. Also, I want out honeymoon to be at least 1-3 months backpacking somewhere exotic. So, that adds to it!
Even though we have no money (we are actually in school loan debt) he bought me a super duper nice ring. Recently, we have also bought a really, really nice bed because our other one was falling apart. I feel that we are in some way privileged being born in this particular period. Even though you don't have cash-money you can use credit for everything, or have parents (who really don't have that much more) help out b/c they don't want us to go 'without.' I look back on some of the recent purchases we have made and think, "wow, b/c of credit I was able to do this and this and this." It is really bizarre! However, we haven't received any negative attitudes from anyone.
I am a young bride. We are doing pretty well financially and our parents are pretty much paying for the entire wedding so my FH can afford a honeymoon. We are going to Sandals St. Lucia.
No one has given us any neg. comments because 1. we have been dating since we were 17 (since 2003) so we are ready, 2. we can pay our own bills (probably have more money than them lol), 3. we are grown (whether we are younger than them or not, we are still responsible adults).
You'll have a great time travelling in Europe! Lots of young people do it, and it needn't be ridiculously expensive if you aren't attached to having a completely extravagant time. I traveled alone quite a bit when I was younger, staying in hostels and the like and there were always couples there having a great time - there is a huge backpacker infrastructure in Europe which makes it easier than many other places you might want to travel. Have fun and don't let people judge you - it's much easier to travel when you are young than when you are older and have more responsibilities that make it difficult to take time off and explore.
I say go now. Since you are students/under 26, you'll be able to get student rates throughout Europe on flights and other such touristy things. Tell people you are making the decision to travel while you have the time and can take advantage of your student status ;)
Check out STA for flights and ask for a student discount EVERYWHERE you go, especially if there is a significant student populaiton you should find discounts at museums and other touristy things and maybe even student-y cafes. Just be sure to bring your school id cards!
If you can afford it, do it! The nay-sayers are just jealous. ;)
Seriously, though. It's your honeymoon, and you should do what you will enjoy the most.
Im with @froggy518! If you can afford it, do it! But don't be closed minded, look for other options too. Maybe an All-Inclusive Hotel in the Caribbean or a Europe cruise(they are usually cheaper than a ground trip).
Im 23 and My fiance is 25 He has a pretty stable job and I am on unemployment and finishing school lol We are going to the Riviera Maya and staying in a 5star hotel....we can afford it but my parents think its a waste of money but its our honey moon and we want to do it big!
@cinnastick~Sounds like you're a Navy FI? Those sound eerily similar to our possible future plans! LOL
OP: We're doing a mine 2-3 day vacay somewhere close and then in a year or so, when we have saved up time off and money we hope to go somewhere exotic...We've recently fallen in love with Seychelles, Africa (it's actually about 1,000 miles off the coast of Africa, it's a string of Islands). If you've got that money and time DO IT!
We're both young, graduating college in May. We're moving right after the wedding from Oklahoma to Florida for me to start grad school. We really, really wanted to do Europe, but we just couldn't make it happen over the summer, when prices are much higher. Not that we could do it during the fall, because I'd be in school. So to fit our budget and still have fun, we're doing CA wine country, San Francisco, and wrapping it up in San Diego. Maybe we'll make it to Europe for an anniversary, way way down the road.
@Anchors: Not navy, actually. I applied to the JET program to teach English in Japan... I'll find out in less than 2 weeks if I got the position. FI is following me whereever I end up :)
Although I graduated from college in 2007, my FI got his BS in civil engineering last year and is one year into grad school, we are going to Germany for our honeymoon. We aren't having an extravagent wedding, just close family and friends with a cake and punch reception. We knew right from the get-go that we wanted a small wedding with an awesome honeymoon and there have been so many other married people telling me they wish they would've spent less on the wedding and more on the honeymoon. So go for it!
About finances I know people were looking at me with judging eyes, but most people don't know that both me and my FI are savers! We have paid for everything up front, and FI had enough money to pay for my beautiful 1 ct. ring with out financing as well. Most people don't realize either that both my FI and I were blessed and have no student loans thanks to scholarships, savings and fellowships. So let them judge, as long as you are comfortable with what you are spending let them be jealous!
GO FOR IT! I'm in the same boat. Everyone thinks we're not old enough and shouldn't spend money on vacations and such but this is my philosophy:
If your going to be broke anyways, why not just have a good vacation, become broke a little sooner, and not regret not getting to go on a honeymoon your whole life!
Like the majority I say go for it. Life is too short to listen to other people who say not to live life to the fullest. Have fun and do a lot research if money is the issue of topics. You can then tell them that you found a great deal and show that you're responsible and looking at all the possibilities.
I can't see why anyone would judge. People just graduating college are always encouraged to travel before they get locked in to jobs and grown up life, so I see this the same way - do it while you can! I wish FI and I were going on a more adventurous honeymoon sometimes, but with how busy and stressful everything this year is going to be, we decided on a laid back honeymoon in Charleston, SC.
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