- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
Where do I start!! I would like to hear some opinions on our situation, if you have the time 🙂 So I guess i’ll start from the very begining! My Fiance and I met in high school at vocational school, fast forward 3 years… I was living with my grandmother to help her with bills and such. My grandmother ended up being hospitalized so I had moved in with my Fiance and his family. We are very young and just trying to get our feet on the ground (22yrs old). Since we have been at his parents house we got engaged last Feb. When the engagment came everyone was excited beyond belief! Everyone was on board to help out and figure things out for the wedding. After sitting down and talking things over with the Fiance we decided on a date, October 25th, 2014. We set it for about 2 years later due to my being in nursing school until July of this year. Since I have been in school and we have started picking wedding things out like the venue, DJs, photographers I have noticed an attitude change in his parents, actually more his step-mom. Now here’s a little brief on his parents; His father had the boys young (21 & 26), got married (which his parents paid for), bought a home, got divorced, held down the house by him self for a couple years, got remarried to his high school sweetheart, and is happily married now. His step-mom had his step sisters young, got married (which her ex-husbands family paid for), moved to colorado, moved back to jersey, got divorced, and is now remarried to the FI’s father. So in a nutshell both families paid for the weddings and were a huge help and very encouraging. Yes, both of them were also out on their own shortly after the kids and weddings. So back to us, a few months after the engagement his parents decided that we could not be married under their roof. We had to move out before we get married, which is totally fine I have no issue with that. My issue now comes in when I get lectured about having to move out and afford a wedding within the next 2 years. The lectures never stop! All we hear is when I was your age I was out on my own and had kids and all. Thats fine and dandy….20 years ago! The economy has changed drastically since then and we don’t have kids yet! We are getting our finances together and have been saving like crazy. My Fiance has been working his butt off because I am not working due to school. Now his step-mom is trying to convince us to move the wedding back. She keeps saying we have no idea what it is like to move out, it’s expensive and to push all of this into 2 years is not a good idea. Our plan is to save for the wedding and moving out, then move out 2 months before the wedding so we are still within our guidlines of being out of the house before we get married. Since we sent in our deposits I sat down and went over all of our finances and made sure we could afford it, even with me not working right away after I get out of school. I have even made her aware of all of this, but she is still set on making me upset about the wedding, now she is nothing but negative about all of our plans! I just don’t know what else to do to try and please them/her! We haven’t asked for their help at all and we have it figured out for the most part…why does she have to be so negative towards us!? It makes me so mad! The only thing I can think of is that she is mad because her daughter failed out of a major university and is now sitting home like a bump on a log and we are actually getting our “crap” together and moving on in life. She has literally said before that her oldest daughter has the most potential out of all four kids, so i’m thinking maybe it’s that? I don’t know but I have been keeping the wedding stuff to myself now, which stinks because it’s so exciting! My family is all for our plan and is very encouraging I just don’t know what we did wrong to make his step-mom think other now. What do you guys think? I mean I know we are young and taking on alot, but if we have everything mapped out and ready to go, why not?!