(Closed) Younger brides with older grooms?

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m 19 and DH is almost 30. We have some intimacy issues also but libido isn’t really one of them. I think that this might be a case-to-case type of thing. But that’s just me. I do find, however, that the more sex we have, the more sex we want. Hope that helps! 

Post # 5
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

I’m not so certain it’s an age thing as my SO is my exact age (25) and my sex drive is way higher and always has been.  He’ll even admit it so I know it’s not because of me or anything like that.  He’s totally fine with once a week, even every other week, though he would prefer once/week.  It caused some problems around 1-3 years of dating but once I accepted that we just have different sex drives and calmed myself down, things have been much more natural and we never fight about sex anymore.

Post # 6
Member
485 posts
Helper bee

I’m 24, BF is 32. I definitely have a higher sex drive than he does, and I initiate it more frequently than he does. I would love to have sex pretty much every day, while he is happy with doing it 4 times a week.

It’s not a problem for us though, to be honest. We have an active sex life which we are both happy with, and his libido has even increased after we moved in together.

Post # 7
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We are almost the same age, but this can be an issue b/c he is a grad student and way more stressed than me.

TBH, in an admittedly unscientific sampling of the several couples I’ve known well enough to hear about this stuff, the woman is almost always the one with the higher libido.  I think there’s a lot of societal stereotypes that say the opposite, but I don’t think it’s unusual for guys of any age to be the one saying “not tonight, honey.”

Post # 8
Member
1124 posts
Bumble bee

Well, men do hit their peak a lot earlier than we do sexually. I think it’s what – 18 for men and 35 for women? Yea, big difference. We also have a 6 year age difference and our libidos are pretty matched up. Although, I am on BC which lowers my drive significantly.

Maybe you could send him little reminders… a sexy text or email while he’s at work? A little spontaneity might be just the ticket.

Post # 9
Member
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

We have an almost 20 year age difference and not a problem.

Post # 10
Member
3012 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

J and I don’t have a huge age difference, but I’m 22 and he’s 27.  My sex drive is way higher than his.  He always tells me that I should’ve known him when he was 18.  Hahaha.  Would’ve been awkward considering I was only 13 then.  But there’s never a problem if I do want to be intimate, but it does seem like I want it more than he does sometimes.

Post # 11
Member
2280 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I don’t think it’s necessarily an age thing. I’m 22, my fiance is 30, and we’re well-matched as far as libidos go. Most couples seem to have intimacy issues that crop up sooner or later, it’s just something you need to talk about…and act on!

Post # 12
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We have eleven years between us and it’s not an issue. We’ve gone through ruts, I think everyone does, so maybe this is just a phase? Stress, like PPs have said, definitely impacts our libidos.

Maybe have a glass of wine together or watch a movie together. We watched “The Ugly Truth” (romantic comedy, definitely NOT a porno) and it made us want to go jump in bed! lol, try a few things and see what helps. Maybe even switch up the pjs for something really cute. Haha, or some satin sheets 🙂

 

Post # 13
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Well, I’d have to agree and say that it definitely depends on the person. My FI is 35 and I’m 27. He definitely has the higher sex drive. We’re on average a 4 times a week couple, maybe more if we do something special over the weekend ;o)

Honestly, it is imprtant to talk about every aspect of what you expect and need from your partner as far as a sex life goes, and I’ve also learned NOT to take things personally. If he’s tired from work, he’s tired from work. I’m a big over-analyzer and I had to teach myself that men say what they really mean. No more, no less. :o)

 

Post # 14
Member
2459 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I honestly dont know, I am 28 and my Husband is 34. For the last year or so mine has been a lot higher. but before that his was. The only thing I can put it down to is that since I lost weight, started running half marathons and training really hard and got a really good job I have felt a lot more confident.

Post # 15
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My fiance and i are 5 years apart and there is definitely a different in libido. it also might be that he has a lot more sex than me. I was a virgin. He had sex a lot, I feel like.. as much as he enjoys sex with me when it happens… he’s sort of … over it. I dunno, maybe that’s jut how I feel right now. Cause he’s been STRESSED AT WORK… no sex for me.. :- Boo.

Post # 16
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Regardless of age, I just think that some people have a higher sex drive than others.  My FI and I are fifteen years apart, and have been together for eight years.  We don’t have sex very often (on average 1-2 times a month) but we cuddle and kiss a lot.  It’s usually me who initiates sex and sometimes I feel awful about myself that he doesn’t want me.  But he’s just not very sexual.  I trust him completely and he doesn’t look at any other girls but me, he doesn’t watch porn or anything else, so I guess it could be a lot worse.   At least we touch and cuddle and kiss a lot, so I’m not lacking in affection and intimacey….but man it would be nice to get laid more often!!!!!

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