Post # 1
I’m 24 and my FI is 31 and I hardly notice our age difference except for one little thing… Sex drive.
It gets worse when he is stressed at work which is normal, but it seems like he hardly ever thinks about having sex without me bringing it up
I never thought 6 years was THAT big of an age difference so I’m not sure if that is the reason for his low libido or if it’s just how he is?
Either way, I’m ok with our sex life the way it is (I don’t mind voicing my needs)… I’m just wondering if this is a common thing younger women notice when they are with older men?
Post # 3
I’m 19 and DH is almost 30. We have some intimacy issues also but libido isn’t really one of them. I think that this might be a case-to-case type of thing. But that’s just me. I do find, however, that the more sex we have, the more sex we want. Hope that helps!
Post # 4
@babymilka74: haha thanks. It started to be a problem when I wasn’t telling him about my needs, but once I started doing that things have been fine… I just find it odd that it’s not something he thinks about on his own… But I’ve always dated guys my age so I didn’t know if it was just because he was older.
I’m trying an experiment right now with the more you have/more you want idea… We’ll see how it works though.
Post # 5
I’m not so certain it’s an age thing as my SO is my exact age (25) and my sex drive is way higher and always has been. He’ll even admit it so I know it’s not because of me or anything like that. He’s totally fine with once a week, even every other week, though he would prefer once/week. It caused some problems around 1-3 years of dating but once I accepted that we just have different sex drives and calmed myself down, things have been much more natural and we never fight about sex anymore.
Post # 6
I’m 24, BF is 32. I definitely have a higher sex drive than he does, and I initiate it more frequently than he does. I would love to have sex pretty much every day, while he is happy with doing it 4 times a week.
It’s not a problem for us though, to be honest. We have an active sex life which we are both happy with, and his libido has even increased after we moved in together.
Post # 7
We are almost the same age, but this can be an issue b/c he is a grad student and way more stressed than me.
TBH, in an admittedly unscientific sampling of the several couples I’ve known well enough to hear about this stuff, the woman is almost always the one with the higher libido. I think there’s a lot of societal stereotypes that say the opposite, but I don’t think it’s unusual for guys of any age to be the one saying “not tonight, honey.”
Post # 8
Well, men do hit their peak a lot earlier than we do sexually. I think it’s what – 18 for men and 35 for women? Yea, big difference. We also have a 6 year age difference and our libidos are pretty matched up. Although, I am on BC which lowers my drive significantly.
Maybe you could send him little reminders… a sexy text or email while he’s at work? A little spontaneity might be just the ticket.
Post # 9
We have an almost 20 year age difference and not a problem.
Post # 10
J and I don’t have a huge age difference, but I’m 22 and he’s 27. My sex drive is way higher than his. He always tells me that I should’ve known him when he was 18. Hahaha. Would’ve been awkward considering I was only 13 then. But there’s never a problem if I do want to be intimate, but it does seem like I want it more than he does sometimes.
Post # 11
I don’t think it’s necessarily an age thing. I’m 22, my fiance is 30, and we’re well-matched as far as libidos go. Most couples seem to have intimacy issues that crop up sooner or later, it’s just something you need to talk about…and act on!
Post # 12
We have eleven years between us and it’s not an issue. We’ve gone through ruts, I think everyone does, so maybe this is just a phase? Stress, like PPs have said, definitely impacts our libidos.
Maybe have a glass of wine together or watch a movie together. We watched “The Ugly Truth” (romantic comedy, definitely NOT a porno) and it made us want to go jump in bed! lol, try a few things and see what helps. Maybe even switch up the pjs for something really cute. Haha, or some satin sheets 🙂
Post # 13
Well, I’d have to agree and say that it definitely depends on the person. My FI is 35 and I’m 27. He definitely has the higher sex drive. We’re on average a 4 times a week couple, maybe more if we do something special over the weekend ;o)
Honestly, it is imprtant to talk about every aspect of what you expect and need from your partner as far as a sex life goes, and I’ve also learned NOT to take things personally. If he’s tired from work, he’s tired from work. I’m a big over-analyzer and I had to teach myself that men say what they really mean. No more, no less. :o)
Post # 14
I honestly dont know, I am 28 and my Husband is 34. For the last year or so mine has been a lot higher. but before that his was. The only thing I can put it down to is that since I lost weight, started running half marathons and training really hard and got a really good job I have felt a lot more confident.
Post # 15
My fiance and i are 5 years apart and there is definitely a different in libido. it also might be that he has a lot more sex than me. I was a virgin. He had sex a lot, I feel like.. as much as he enjoys sex with me when it happens… he’s sort of … over it. I dunno, maybe that’s jut how I feel right now. Cause he’s been STRESSED AT WORK… no sex for me.. :- Boo.
Post # 16
Regardless of age, I just think that some people have a higher sex drive than others. My FI and I are fifteen years apart, and have been together for eight years. We don’t have sex very often (on average 1-2 times a month) but we cuddle and kiss a lot. It’s usually me who initiates sex and sometimes I feel awful about myself that he doesn’t want me. But he’s just not very sexual. I trust him completely and he doesn’t look at any other girls but me, he doesn’t watch porn or anything else, so I guess it could be a lot worse. At least we touch and cuddle and kiss a lot, so I’m not lacking in affection and intimacey….but man it would be nice to get laid more often!!!!!