Post # 1
Ok Ladies, I was just wondering if there is anything that your spouse may do during an argument that just pushes your buttons! I’m writing this because my hubby and I got into a little tiff and even though its nothing substantial by no means, I told him to leave me alone AND HE IS! And I KNOW he knows by now that when I say “leave me alone” it means “I really wanna fight it out some more!”. lol I know it’s childish. So while I’m sulking I decided to log on and check my bee and find out if there is anything your spouses do that just erks you during an argument??? I’m very curious on the responses!!! =)
Post # 3
haha I love this post 🙂 Everyone knows that the guys are just supposed to be able to figure out our code-speak.
My ex used to grab his keys, like he was going to leave. He thought this was some kind of ultimate threat or a way to hurt me. He would never leave, just would grab the keys and get act like he was going to. I got tired of it, and eventually I grabbed his keys for him, and chucked them in the yard
Post # 4
he totally calls me out when i start to get bitchy/pouty which is actually awesome because no guy has ever done that, they always let me walk all over them! hahaha. he’ll give me “the eye” and I just start laughing because he’ll take my crap only to a certain extent! the only thing he’s ever done that pissed me off in an argument is telling me i’m immature (which irked me because he’s 7 years older) but yaknow… sometimes i can be… but so can he so nyerrrr!!!
Post # 5
My FI has “dead face” when we argue. Meaning I get upset, he plays the Calm Guy who doesn’t get upset about anything, but to me it looks like he’s not listening, doesn’t give a crap, and it pushes my buttons! I get more upset and eventually it rolls into the realm of me crying, FI calling me a big baby and me getting more upset. I really don’t think the guy knows how to approach an argument. He says I don’t know how to have a rational calm talk, I say I have a right to my feelings and I can cry if I’m upset!
And when I say leave me alone, I freaking mean it. Sometimes I get so heated during an argument I need to walk away or I will end up screaming, but he tells me I need to stay and talk it out. But I can’t calm down if I don’t have a minute to myself! I am very emotional and he is very rational if you can’t tell 😛
My advice to you in this situation though is that you need to know that men are simple. They don’t really know how to read into us, or between the lines. He will probably take what you say literally. And of course the one time that he doesn’t leave you alone you will probably get more upset and not want him there. It’s a double edged sword. I don’t think you should play games like that though, you should be very direct and honest with your husband, don’t get mad if he’s doing what you ask!
Post # 6
DH has taught me how to fight fair and I really respect him for that. It’s improved me as a person and our relationship. There’s nothing really that he does except not give in 😉 But I guess I can’t be mad about that.
Post # 7
@MissFlipFlops: Haha! I’m the same way! I know it’s dumb but that’s how I argue. lol. I always am wanting him to come after me!
Post # 8
@babybritt143: I actually do that, but it’s really because I want to leave! Fi actually does see it as a threat though, even though I just need time to calm down and start thinking normally again. I always feel like he’s chasing me around the apartment and I can’t escape so the only place to go is outside? I know I have communication problems though so I guess I should just start confronting them instead of walking away 🙂
Post # 9
@elliestan: we both have had a lot of experience with SOs letting us walk all over them, and we love that neither of us will take much crap from the other. we have such a balanced relationship which i love.
honestly our fights almost always end in hysterical laughter. i don’t even know how it gets to that, but at some point we’ll realize how ridiculous the fight is and laughter ensues. when all else fails, if he wants a fight to be over he makes loud animal noises. don’t ask. we’re weird. it’s a surefire way to make me laugh and end the argument, but i guess it doesn’t always get things accomplished.
Post # 10
@moderndaisy: wow maybe I should take some notes for you! I’m an emotionally fueled person and FI says I don’t fight fair, but I always thought he was just being cold. Can I ask how you have changed in your technique? This is the one area of our relationship I would love to improve.
Post # 11
@PB&J: LOVE the Animal noises!!!! hahaha that made me crack up!!!!!
Post # 12
FI gets instantly defensive, even if he has no reason to be. Not sure why he’s like that. I have to remind him that I’m trying to talk to him about whatever the issue is; I’m not attacking him.
Post # 13
@arenyth: Arggghh my FI has “dead face” too. It makes me even more upset. It usually ends with me yelling something like “Don’t you even care?! You’re not acting like you care!!!”
In reality, he is just a very calm, rational fighter, whereas I am uber emotional and maybe not so rational when I’m pissed off about something. It’s a difficult contrast when arguing….
Post # 14
@TinyTina: Yea it’s hard! He thinks I’m dramatic and over the top, I think he just doesn’t care. I brought up the dreaded word “counseling” and he was not pleased. If we can already see the issue we should be able to work through it, I just don’t know how!?
Post # 15
My husband closes up. He just won’t talk anymore.
When I ask for him to talk to me about his thoughts on the future or plans or help with the budget, he just says, “You know I don’t think about those things”.
I wish he would understand that I don’t want to worry about the future or have to deal with the budget etc either but its part of being an adult and I have to do it. It would just be more helpful if he would help talk me through it.
ARGH sorry for the minor vent we are arguing about some crap right now and I’m really upset.